Monday, June 29, 2009

the bet awards were all about mj... and bad music

I want to do a quick sum-up of the BET Awards.

First of all, DAY26 won BEST GROUP! Yeahhh boys!



Second, there was definitely some let downs when it came to performances. For me, the following wasn't a let down but rather a "I told you so" and a confirmation that it's OK I never jumped on the Lil Wayne bandwagon, and won't jump on the Drake bandwagon.



[I don't care that Drake tore his ACL and that's why he sat down. It was a terribly boring performance.]

Finally, it was all about Michael Jackson, and I watched it as my one final Hoo-rah for him.

Jamie Foxx's moonwalk was fantabulous and I'm mad I can't find any videos of it that will work.

All of the musical tributes were great, too... But honestly... the best part about it all, was finally getting to see Michael's sister, Miss Janet Jackson.



I cried, got goosebumps, everything when I saw her come out. She held her composure SO well. She gave the opposite appearance that their father did earlier that night on the red carpet.



He honestly acts like he's not phased by anything. This man disgusts me. He always has since I saw the Jackson 5 movie. Maybe this is his way of dealing with everything, but I can't believe that he's coming off so emotionless and untouched by it all.

I wish I could write more, and hopefully I'll get the time tomorrow, but I just don't have the time today and I'M SORRY! Check it all out for yourself, though!

love,
elizabethany

PS: Looks like tomorrow is a GO for move-in day at the Real World DC house! Get pumped, guys!

watch: tag teaming the ottoman

Oh my goodness.

I have one of those videos that has so many thoughts running through my mind that it basically leaves me speechless.

Before I say anything, please watch this video. [Make sure you're not at work, though.]



... I mean.... What?!??!!? I really hoped, for the sake of men everywhere, that guys like this didn't exist.

Why is a group of five dudes making videos of ALL of them HUMPING an OTTOMAN in their spare time?!? Is that what guys do during sleepovers?! Is there something us girls need to know?!

And how old are they?! They look like a variety, but that first kid is DEFINITELY a youngin', which is even more disturbing.

Again.. WHY ARE THEY ALL TAKING TURNS, THEN HAVING A 6-SOME WITH A PIECE OF FURNITURE?!

Oh, I'm bothered... And I don't mean "all hott and bothered." I mean bothered. Freaked out.

To any males out there: This is not okay. And if I keep seeing disturbing things like this, I will be forced into lesbianism. Or I will become a nun.

love,
elizabethany

the smurfs are hitting the big screen

It's been a while since the days of watching The Smurfs in the morning and wondering why it was a gigantic sausage fest.

Soon, I'll be wondering again, but this time- Wishing I was Smurfette and not saying I'd need a cootie shot in that world.



The Smurfs MOVIE is coming out in December of 2010! [I know, a LONG way away, but it'll be worth the wait I think!

It's supposed to be combination of live-action actors and cartoon characters, all that will be in 3-D!!!!



The cast isn't set yet, but John Lithgow and Julia Sweeney are rumored to be on board.

Seriously, I know I love the kiddie stuff and whatever so it's probably a given, but I am pretty pumped about this! I don't remember much about the Smurfs, but I will definitely refresh my memory in time for the movie.

love,
elizabethany

Sunday, June 28, 2009

kellie and kid make an interesting pair

This is an interesting couple in the country world.

I had no idea or any hint of this, but apparently it's been going on for about a year. Country's biggest ditz and former Idol contestant is dating Country's badass.

Kellie Pickler and Kid Rock= Totally together.

She said they've been together for about a year, and he's a very, very good man.

That's interesting... I always thought he wasn't that great of a guy. There's also rumor he's dating Sheryl Crow too. Ya know, Hugh Hef status.

Good luck with that, Kellie....

love,
elizabethany

the terrible week continues

I thought things came in 3's, and that the week of dying was over... But apparently I was wrong.

Billy Mays, King of the Infomercial, was found dead this morning by his wife. No explanation, nothing wrong that we know of. Just left in the middle of his sleep.

This guy had that voice that everyone knew. You could hear him 4 rooms and 3 floors away and be like "IS THAT BILLY MAYS ON TV?!" It's crazy!

So, in order to celebrate his life, I will share with you the Top 10 Billy Mays Commercials.

[Check out #6-10 here.]

5. Green Now



Whattt! A green spray paint for your lawn?! Those lawns and hedges look AMAZING! RIGHT AWAY


4. Awesome Auger



The amount of free things that you will give me besides just the Awesome Auger is what will make me call right away, Mr. Mays.


3. Mighty Putty



Really though? I can turn this putty into a handle for my mug or a link in my chain?! I will believe anything Billy Mays tells me, no matter what.


2. Flies Away



A pee-bag looking thing to hang out at your table while you eat?! Hundreds of flies building up in a see-through bag?! Sounds like a nasty idea, but if Billy Mays supports it, so do I.


1. What Odor?



IT CAN TAKE THE SKUNK SMELL AWAY?! FROM A REAL LIVE SKUNK?! Billy Mays, you are an amazing man who sold magical products, that's for sure.


I'm devastated that we'll never again hear "Hi, Billy Mays here for ___." My favorite will remain the original: OxiClean. And to further celebrate this man, I shall buy some this week.

RIP, man. I hope none of your products secretly killed you so that people like me would buy their products. I will kill them if they did. You will be missed!

love,
elizabethany

Friday, June 26, 2009

watch: my tribute to the king of pop

So this whole week I've been on a very random Michael Jackson kick. I'm not kidding. On my way to the Real World house, I found it necessary to play every one of his songs on the iPod. Then on karaoke night, I had to sing one of his songs.

I've always been a fan, but never have I done all of these things so much. Originally someone asked me to sing this song for their birthday, but I did in fact want to do it before they suggested it, and now I think it was a feeling I had inside me. [I am psychic sometimes, I swear!]

Anyways, I'm sorry about the darkness and quality of this video, and the quality of my singing, but I had to do this for the King of Pop. The world will never be the same.



Thanks again for all of the music, MJ. You will live on forever, but may you rest in peace.

love,
elizabethany

PS: Thanks to a certain guy they call "Skeeter" who helped me "sing" this.

update: real world dc

Last night I was just way too drained to post everything that I have about the Real World DC, so that's what I am here to do now.

If you haven't already checked out Episodes 1, 1.5, and 2, you need to.

Anyways! First of all, when I went to the house, I saw them putting in a stack of carpets into the house. They were all colorful and very Real World-esque.


As I said before, I did see the inside downstairs thanks to the workers leaving the door open. Unfortunately, I have nothing to show you. I think it was all control rooms, though, because the hallway looked very not-for-the-camera. It'd be hard for anything fun to go down in what I saw.

When I walked away, I ran into a few of the right people. This is what I found out:
  • The Real World cast will be working as canvasers just two blocks from the house at the Human Rights Campaign offices. They'll be all over the streets trying to get support money for all different causes. However, this may not be the only job the roommates have. They may also work on individual projects separate from this.
  • Each restaurant and/or bar and/or public place that allows the cast into their property must sign a waiver. This contract allows MTV to basically do whatever they want inside. If something gets destroyed, tough. If something happens but they don't catch it on camera, they can recreate the entire scene, whenever and wherever they please. They also have the right to ask people to move to wherever the camera would like them. [I'm sure they'll ask me to be front and center.]
There are some other things I have learned, but either I shouldn't share yet, or I don't have it all confirmed. The above is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. [As far as I can tell.]

The rumor still stands on the roommates moving in TOMORROW, so I will be down there in the morning to scope out the scene! Get pumped, people! I know I am!

love,
elizabethany

watch eTV: Finding the RWDC Cast Episode 2

Woohoo! It's time for another episode of elizabethanyTV's Finding the Real World DC Cast!!!

If you missed episode 1, click here, duh.

I guess this is technically episode #3, because I did a text version of an episode... But it's only the second video, hence the title of #2!

Mission: To find the cast of the Real World DC, and make it into the house, and in their hot tub.

What I'm doing now to get there: Buying some outfits, getting a tan, and checking out the house again.



Again, haters and/or lovers are ALWAYS welcome in the comment box below!

I also have a TON more information to share that I learned while down there, but you'll have to wait until tomorrow for that, so check back in!

TWO DAYS, PEOPLE!!!

love,
elizabethany

a tragic week in hollywood

I don't even know where to start or where to take this.

There's no point in telling what happened, you already know.

3 icons... Gone.

When Ed McMahon died, I was going to do a post, but then I figured everyone knows the tragedy, why reiterate it?

When Farrah Fawcett died, I thought "I don't know how I would post about this."

Now that Michael Jackson died too, I'm just at a loss for words, and really upset.

It's true what they say, people. Things come in 3's.

I want to honor all of these people, but I just don't know how besides keeping them on my mind, which won't be hard.

There are two things that not everyone knows about, though. Both relating to the King of Pop, and both terrible things that should have never been done.

First, Perez Hilton posted this on his blog:


If it's hard to read, click here.

Who the H does this guy think he is?!?! NO WONDER he got punched in the face this week! I don't care how much you think someone may be faking something or how weird they are, you never, ever express that in this way. Especially when their father had just released that he was "NOT OK."

Perez has gone from hero to zero in just a couple of days.

Also, Entertainment Tonight posted a picture that should never be shared. You probably don't want to see this, but your curious side will. It's a picture of Jacko in the ambulance on the way to the hospital as the EMT workers are trying to revive him.

I can't believe it. The things people are leaking these days are absolutely terrible.

There are a couple more things I want to share, but I shall add those tomorrow. I just wanted to say Rest In Peace to these 3 amazing, American icons, and shame on you to Perez and ET.

love,
elizabethany

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

burger king is provocative

So much for America being prude.

Burger King has just kicked the world of advertising up a notch. No more boring, G-rated advertisements!

Instead, let's encourage people to do something that is illegal in many states.... Blow, if you will.

If you have eyes and are looking at the ad, you'll get me. It might make you crave a nice, big 7 incher, too.

Oh man.. I absolutely love it. I hope people don't protest and say it's too obscene because that would be LAME! Let's embrace this revolution, people.

And guys... Please, PLEASE buy lots of 7 inchers. And make sure you taste their eternal deliciousness.

No really, though.. I think I shall try one tonight. Wait.. What!?

love,
elizabethany

nifty: the popcornsicle

Well this is probably going to be the newest, coolest fair food of the summer. Forget fried Oreos, people will want popcornsicles!

The idea is super simple. Roll popcorn into a ball, and flash freeze it in liquid nitrogen. TA-DA! You have an ice cold ball of popcorn.

If it's caramel-popcorn, I will be all over it, no joke. But plain, buttered popcorn seems a little lame to me.

I guess we'll have to find out in a couple of months!

love,
elizabethany

watch: audrina loves carl's cheeseburgers

I showed you the picture of her Carl's advertisement, but now the full commercial is out for everyone's pleasurable viewing.



That first shot of her butt and vajayjay is certainly something that will catch your eye, eh?! She does look uber hott eating that cheeseburger but again, how long do you think it took her to find a bathroom and throw up in it after she took all of those bites?

Once again I do something to make the boys smile. You're welcome.
I really need to do more for my ladies.

love,
elizabethany

top 10: songs not to sing at karaoke night

This is being posted today mainly for all of my Woodbridge readers who go to karaoke night at the Steakhouse, but it's interesting for everyone!

These are the 10 worst songs for anyone to sing on karaoke, according to the Chicago Tribune.

  • Bohemian Rhapsody--> Queen... It's just way too long, people.
  • A song from any musical... I disagree. I think it's precious when everyone can sing to "Summer Nights."
  • Believe--> Cher... Unless you're Ellen and have the autotuning mic, you can't do this. Sorry.
  • American Pie--> Don McClean... Again, too long. Share the wealth of time, my friends.
  • Welcome to the Jungle--> Guns n Roses... This should only be performed via Guitar Hero.
  • Me and Bobby McGee--> Janis Joplin... I've never heard anyone try this, but don't do Janis. She's one of a kind.
  • Baby Got Back--> Sir Mix-a-Lot... I disagree. I think it's fun to sing along to this song! Everyone knows the words, so you don't need to worry about that.
  • My Heart Will Go On--> Celine Dion... It's CELINE!! Why would you even bother?
  • Don't Stop Believing--> Journey... Another disagreement. This is a fabulous song to party to, and I don't think you can have a party without it. So karaoke night is a must, as well.
  • Picture--> Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow... I'm just not sure why anyone would sing this at this point...?
Tomorrow I plan on posting the Top 10 BEST songs to sing at karaoke night! [It's been entirely too long since I have done my own list.] Feel free to post your votes below!

You can be sure that Britney will definitely be included.

love,
elizabethany

there's going to be a facebook movie

Wow... Social websites really are taking over, and Facebook really is #1.

Right now they're working on getting a movie started all about Facebook and its evolution since 2004. The director: Aaron Fincher, who just directed "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button."


It's going to be called "The Social Network," has already been scripted, and will likely begin production later this year.

...Does anyone think this will actually be good? Don't get me wrong, I LOVE facebook [and I think you should join the love, elizabethany group], but I don't see how a movie about its evolution would be a great, entertaining movie.

Maybe once we see more about the movie and the script, it'll be easier to understand and believe that it's going to be decent. Until then, I do not think this will be too fabulous.

love,
elizabethany

nifty?: the kush support

Ladies... Do you ever have that problem when you sleep when your boobs just won't stay perked and they're squished together and it's uncomfortable?

Yeah... I don't either.

But apparently some people have these problems, and someone has come up with the solution: The Kush Support.



What the heck. First of all, this thing looks uber hard and uncomfortable. In fact, I'm pretty sure it would make it even harder to sleep.

Also. Umm... Does anyone else think it looks like something else? Like a TF toy or something almost? I mean, even the colors of the things and the different sizes are just a little awkward. Call me crazy, but this doesn't look like it's a comfortable sleep supporter.

If anyone has ever had this problem, please speak up. Otherwise I'm just going to think this is a waste of space and an awkward sex toy/practice tool.

love,
elizabethany

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

tunes on tuesday 062309

It's that time again!!!


I feel like I need some really great lead in music or something... But let's get started.


Plies--> Becky



What a dirty man. His voice even sounds dirty/raw. It's not a terrible song, but I probably won't listen to it when I'm just hangin' out.


Lil Jon ft. Swizz Beats and Snoop Dogg--> [Do Anybody Represent] I Do



Again, probably not a song I'm going to listen to on my own, but if you like Lil Jon, or yelling rap, this might be for you.


Amerie--> Why R U



She is another example of really beautiful and talented that isn't as well known as she should have. I totally enjoy this song, and the video is hott. Well, she's hott. I hope it does well.


R.Kelly ft. OJ Da Juiceman--> Superman High



Not a bad song from Kelz! I didn't expect this song to sound like this but I don't know what I did expect. It's different for him, I feel. It could definitely get me pumped to go out.


Jazmine Sullivan--> In Love With Another Man



Another video that's more like a movie. These are interesting! She's another extremely talented person. This is a beautiful song because of her voice, but it's awfully sad.


Rich Girl--> He Ain't Wit Me Now [Tho]



I can't remember if I posted this one last time or not, so I'm just doing it again. It reminds me of Showstoppin' for some reason. Is that weird??


Mariah Carey--> Obsessed



For some reason, Mariah has joined the list of people using Autotuning. It's not a bad song, I just don't understand why she needs to be doing that. How do you feel about the song??


Amanda Blank--> Might Like You Better



Very interesting beat. She also uses the extreme effects so that you don't know what she really sounds like, but I like the point of the song. It's funny.


Livvi Franc ft. Pitbull--> Now I'm That Bitch



I enjoy the beat! I think I can get used to her voice and this song and eventually really, really enjoy it. Hmmm.. Who are you really, though, Miss Franc?


Lost Trailers--> All This Love



This is a pretty song! Kind of sad, though. "Typical country" as some of you would say. Whatever.


Montgomery Gentry--> Long Line of Losers



Woah, this song sounds like another song, but I don't know what. It's typical Montgomery Gentry, I feel. Not bad, kind of silly.


Sarah Buxton--> Outside My Window



Hey lady, it's not smart to intro your video, I don't think... But whatever. She's good, but it's not my favorite song I've ever heard. It might grow on me though because as much as I'm not a fan of the verses, I do enjoy the chorus for some reason.


Eli Young Band--> Radio Waves



I can definitely see myself loving these people. They're good! I like the song, I like the sound, I like it all. Snap! I need to do some research. I have a good feeling about them.


Alright! That's all for this week! Break out the downloading materials and enjoy, my friends!

love,
elizabethany

the real ladies man

Here's your random post and animal picture of the week.

This squirrel is probably the biggest ladies man around. He gets all the hoes.


He's got his swagger on RIGHT.

love,
elizabethany

watch: fantastic basketball shot

I've posted a video of people doing multiple things like this, that are even better, but I'm assuming those people had a lot of practice.

This kid was in his high school's gym and decided to do a front handspring, then throw the ball towards the hoop. Then... swoosh.





Seriously, that's great. Maybe it was practiced, maybe it was a miracle, but either way... If the kid is old enough, he probably got some action later that day. Whether it was a hug from the hottie, or.. Well, ya know..

love,
elizabethany

rw update: pictures of inside the real world house

Uh ohhh!! I'm getting closer to being inside the Real World DC house!!

Okay, not really... But sort of. In an imagination based way.

My Real World friends with Real World DC News posted these pictures of inside the house! You can't see a whole lot, which is a shame, but it's enough to tease the heck out of you and want to see more!




The first picture is assumed to be the confessional because of the wall and how much it matches the Brooklyn confessional. The second one looks like the wall that I thought would be lining a hot tub, but I was wrong. According to the floor plan, it will actually be home to the love sacs... Or so I assume. It has the DC flag painted onto the wall.

I think it would be pretty neat to have the house decked out in patriotic gear. It'd be different, and it'd be nice to see some country pride on the show. Plus, it would totally fit, duh.

I'm going to the house today to film an episode and check everything out! Hopefully I can get some exclusive goodies for you guys!

love,
elizabethany

watch/nifty: the cutest coffee maker you'll ever see

Man, Asian people are just really, really smart. They come up with the coolest inventions, especially when it comes to robots!

This little girl robot makes coffee for you. She gets the beans, grinds them, and then brews the coffee. You have to help her out a little bit, but not much.



I mean, how precious is she?! She looks at you for the extra ingredients, and carefully pours everything. She's the cutest little machine you'll ever see!

It's also pretty crazy everything that she's doing. I wonder if you have to get specific coffee-making items for her to work. Either way, I think she's pretty darn nifty.

love,
elizabethany

dan snyder is the worst

Redskins fans.... It's time to get mad. Real mad. And after you're good and mad, it's time to do something about this issue I shall tell you about right now.

Dan Snyder is trying to take away Redskins Park tailgating. And no, I'm not lying.

An email was sent out to all of the rich guys [AKA people with super nice suites at FedEx Field] saying this:
  • Tailgating is permitted only in the last few rows of each lot
  • All vehicles will be directed to specific spaces in each lot
Say WHAT?!?! So if you want to tailgate you'd have to get there hella early so that you could get one of the special spots, that are really not so great. Awesome.... Not.

They're also saying that these rules could only be in place for a year, so that Snyder could "compromise" with everyone and say "you can tailgate, if you pay a fee."

Look... I think Redskins fans are pretty ride or die. HOWEVER... No tailgating at a football game is almost like no cheerleaders. Maybe even worse. People can be fans from home, which would lose the "12th Player" effect.

I hate that Dan Snyder is so much more about money than this stupid team. With as much love as the fans have, you'd think he'd at least have a little bit to give.

I still plan on assassinating him some day. Who's with me? Mom told me it was fine as long as I didn't lose my internships, but those were last summer, so I think I'm allowed!!!

[Did I just say that on the Internet? Woops.]

love,
elizabethany

nifty: garments that massage your goodies

Well this is both an absolutely idea, and a rather creepy/odd one.

There are actually articles of clothing with built in massagers!

I know what you're thinking... "Holy S. Which parts to they massage, and where can I get them?! Well, they massage just the places you were hoping for.

For the ladies, we have the massaging bra.

For the fellas, we have the massaging underwear/boxer-brief type things.

The best part about the bra and the briefs-- They claim they massage those areas for health reasons.

Make breast more healthy: Pangao breast enhancer effectively make breast up, dredge breast glands, eliminate blood stasis and effectively prevent women from breast diseases and flaccid, also can move fat and make a well-shaped figure. If use it often, you can have a sound sleep, immunity from disease and better internal secretion.

Oh... Did I mention they also make them BIGGER?! Apparently, it does.

The brief-things claim to work out the kinks in your junk whenever you're feeling a little.. Mmm.. Flustered down there.. If you will.

So my next question after reading about these is where the H can I get one, and pronto?!

Welp, you need to buy at least 500, because they only come in bulk.

I'm officially pissed. I don't have a sugar daddy who is willing to fork out money for 500 of these things. How will my breasts get big and healthy now?! Ugh. Maybe the doc can prescribe it or something.

Oh and uh... In case you thought the bra wasn't nearly good enough, don't worry. They definitely have vibrating thongs. Not only have I seen them at Spencer's, but my ex-friend-turned-skank used to wear them to school... High School.

I want someone to have these items right now. I also want to watch them use them. Is that weird? Pfft, don't care!

love,
elizabethany

updates on everything

My goodness I picked the wrong day to work a double. SO much happened in the celeb world, and I couldn't be there to update as it all happened, and I am very sorry.

[PS: For future reference, I will update via Twitter on days like today... So follow me! ;)]

Anyways, here we go... Everything all in one blog.

PEREZ vs. WILL.I.AM

Did they fight? Will.i.am says no way....




He's cool, calm, and collected. Not disrespectful at all. Perez.... Is not. And little does he know, he basically says that it was someone else WITH Will.i.am, not him.




I'm confused, Perez. What did Will.i.am lie about?! The fact that he didn't hit you? You admitted that. And... I still don't understand how hurt you could have been if you were all over Twitter.

Look, I'm a blogger, too. I may not be as big as Perez [though I am clearly cooler] but I know that no matter how much publicity you have, attention is always wanted. If anyone relatively famous did something to me, you can bet your bottom dollar I'd do what Perez is doing. The only problem is... I am a Will.i.am lover, and I am pretty positive he's way too cool to be hitting anyone like Perez.

The end of my rant on this.


CHRIS BROWN IS FREE TO LIVE AT HOME

Speaking of fights... Apparently I'm always in support of the person doing the fighting.... Or supposedly doing the fighting. Whatever.. I give people the benefit of the doubt.. Especially when I like them.

If you didn't hear, his court date was today, and thanks to a plea bargain, he's not going to jail! Instead, he has community service to do, and 5 years of probation. The community service will be done in... dun dun DUNNN... VIRGINIA! [Should I stalk him, too?! Hmmm.]

He also has to stay further than 50 yards from Rihanna, which she didn't like. She actually wanted a less restrictive restraining order on him.... Interesting.

I'm happy for him... And yes, I still find her psycho. Shoot me for liking the "bad guy" if you want. Who cares.


JON AND KATE MADE THEIR ANNOUNCEMENT

They're getting a divorce. Big freakin' surprise. NOT!

I don't need to say much else.. I've said my peace. Kate is a bee-hotch and Jon needed to leave her. The kids will now make both of their lives a living Hell, and it will be rather funny.


Whew. Glad I got all of that out for you guys. Feel free to talk about how you feel below, of course! How does it go? "1..2.. Sound off.. 3..4.."

No, that's not it..... Oh well.

love,
elizabethany

on the racks: christina milian does maxim

This month is bringing out the hottest of the hott in magazines.. Seriously. The latest: Christina Milian in Maxim.

I won't say anything right now, I'll just let you fellas soak it in...







To make it even better, she talks about how she regularly goes to strip clubs and gets lap dances. She even dresses up in costume when she hits the bedroom with her men.
...like a maid costume; a cute apron with the mitts and a robe, too. Yes. It was red. It was really cute. I try a little bit of everything. I’m all about keeping the excitement in the relationship. That’s why I sing songs like “Dip It Low.” When I’m with somebody, I like to keep it exciting.
A lot of people are saying "but WHO is she and WHERE has she been?!" Well, that doesn't matter, my friends. Now, she's in Maxim.. that's where. And if you didn't know her before, I bet you want to now.

As always, you're welcome, boys.

love,
elizabethany

Monday, June 22, 2009

perez got beat up by will.i.am

Wowzers, Twitter went CRAZY last night while I was sleeping. I woke up to about double the tweets I normally do overnight, and it's all thanks to an event that happened after the Much Music Video Awards in Canada last night.

Perez Hilton was bleeding, needed the popo's, and was in shock. Will.I.am supposedly beat him up.

Read some of Perez's tweets:
  • I'm in shock. I need the police ASAP. Please come to the SoHo Metropolitan Hotel now. Please.
  • I was assaulted by Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas and his security guards. I am bleeding. Please, I need to file a police report. No joke.
  • Still waiting for the police. The bleeding has stopped. I need to document this. Please, can the police come to the SoHo Met Hotel.
  • I spoke to my lawyer. I really need to talk to the authorities. Please come to the SoHo Met Hotel. Have called the police. Need them here.
  • The Toronto police are here now. Thank you. Please stop calling them.
  • Thank u all from the bottom of my heart for ur concern. The police are investigating the assault now. I did the right thing by reporting it.
Hmmmm... Will.I.am?!?! I just can't imagine him doing anything like that! [And yes, in case you were wondering, I do in fact know him personally, and we're BFF's so I know what he would and wouldn't do... Duh.]

I guess we'll find out what really happened eventually. All I want to do is see the pictures, though. I know for a fact I would laugh out loud... At least a little bit.

But uh.... If this IS true... You can bet Will.I.am and the Black Eyed Peas will get some not-so-nice names and posts from Perez.


In other news, here are some pictures from the event, which is said to be a lot like the MTV VMA's. It involved Lady GaGa's boobies exploding in flames and her cooter almost falling out, Fergie's creepy fingernails, Kelly Clarkson looking huge, and JoBro ridiculousness.. Including them making an obscene gesture.






Looks like an interesting night, that's for sure.

love,
elizabethany

watch: the princess and the frog trailer

Apparently I missed the train on this one when it first debuted, but I'm just finding the trailer for the newest Disney princess movie!

I've mentioned it a couple of times, and there has been all sorts of debate on this movie, but you can finally see the trailer now! Will it be as legendary and epic as the rest of the Disney classics?



I'm not going to lie... I really want to see it! It's a shame I don't have a kid to take to see it, but maybe I can steal someone else's for a couple of hours.

It looks relatively decent and I think it might actually live up to expectations! Sweet!

love,
elizabethany

Sunday, June 21, 2009

update: the real world dc

Update time!

So I originally thought the cast would be moving in on the 20th, but I was stupid. That's when they hired all of the technical people, which means the cast won't be moving in until at least the middle of the week, if not next weekend.

HOWEVER!! They DO indeed have a hot tub! Outside! AKA easy access for me! Also, a pool table was delivered and there's some fancy canopy thing out front over the hot tub. There's also an intense guard on the steps 24-7 just chillin', not answering anyone.

Beyond the house, many people have gotten tips, which have been forwarded to me, about where the cast will be spending their time on those wild nights. Don't you guys worry, I have already mapped everything out, and I WILL be in attendance wherever they are, at least a couple of times.

It may be a little ridiculous how excited I am getting, but I'm flipping PUMPED and I can't wait to find them all!

love,
elizabethany

PS: I have been getting everything ready for the big day/weeks/months. That episode will be posted Tuesday, probably.

melissa's still milkin' the 15 minutes

Wow. Melissa Rycroft really isn't giving up.

From the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders show, to the Bachelor, to Dancing with the Stars... And now, Good Morning America.

No, I'm not kidding.

They signed her on to be a correspondent/special contributer for the summer. Basically, they say she's going to take certain stories and "uplift" them.

In other words, add her giggle and make everything fun, happy, and peachy.

I hate that I'm going to say this, because I absolutely LOVED Melissa on the Bachelor AND DWTS... But your time is up, honey. Unless you can prove to us that you really are a force to be reckoned with and not just some reality TV star, it's time to exit stage left.

love,
elizabethany

watch: obama is here to save the day

I feel like I've had a lot of talks lately about how Obama is a cool dude, but a letdown. [For the record, I'm still a fan.... But I am wondering when everything will seem to sort out...]

Mom mentioned today she heard someone say Obama stands for One Bad Ass Mistake, America. That's terrible.

Watching this video does make me chuckle, though. Man, if I believe that any man can save the world while taking his family out to dinner and having regular date nights, it's GOTTA be Barack Obama!



Props to whoever made this. It's probably going to open a lot of eyes. And mouths for that matter, when it comes to laughing. [Okay, lame line, I know.]

love,
elizabethany

britney has an imposter

Well this is just not okay.

There is a girl who basically thinks she is Britney Spears. She does everything that BritBrit does, and lives Britney's life. She even shaved her head when B had her meltdown.



I knew that Anna Nicole Smith had a lady who did this, and even gained and lost the weight with her, but I had no idea Britney did.

Did I mention this is literally her job and life? She earns her living by looking like Britney Spears and living her life.
I feel there's almost a spiritual connection between us. So, just like Britney, I took a pair of hair clippers and shaved my head right down the middle. When I saw the first bald strip in the mirror I wanted to stop because it looked so awful, but I had to continue until it was all gone. My mum cried when she saw it....
....I wanted to become an actor and singer,' says Lorna, the daughter of a civil servant, who studied Performing Arts at university. 'But I'm nowhere near as talented a singer as Britney, so I'm happy to impersonate her and enjoy the adulation she receives.

........ WHAT?!?!?

First of all, I don't even think homegirl [Lorna Bliss] looks that much like B. Spears. Second, what in the H are you doing with your life?! I LOVE my girl, but I would never try and live someone's life!

I'm mad. Real mad. I don't know why specifically, but I'm fuming. Ugh.

love,
elizabethany

watch: craziest freak out ever

Have you ever seen anyone freak out before? Like really, lose their mind, want to jump off a cliff freak out?

I guarantee you have never seen anyone freak out like this kid. His mom just canceled his account to World of Warcraft and he's not happy about it, but his brother sure is.



If it weren't for the brother laughing so hard, I would have been a little worried right after he started to shove the remote into his buttocks and then hit himself in the head with shoes. Wowzers, this is serious. [But flipping HILARIOUS.]

Hey kid's mom... Uh... I think you should give him his account back... For everyone's safety.

love,
elizabethany

ruthie camden is all grown up

I'm not sure how I stumbled upon these pictures, but I did... And I'm not sure how I feel about them.

Little Ruthie Camden [or Mackenzie Rosman in real life..] from 7th Heaven isn't so little anymore. In fact, she's 19. She's definitely living the 19 year old lifestyle too... Making out with other girls, taking pictures in just her undies and posting them online.... Yikes!





Honestly, though... I look at these pictures, and think she's definitely attractive, but is she hott?! I can't look at her and see anything else besides little Ruthie who just got her period for the first time. It's more creepy than it is hott, to me.

She does have the bite-your-bottom-lip-and-make-the-boys-scream look down, though. What do you think??



Yeah, her face just hasn't changed enough for me to get over the creepy factor.. But to each his own!

love,
elizabethany

Friday, June 19, 2009

watch: jon and kate have an announcement

Unfortunately I haven't been keeping up with Jon and Kate since the first episode when it comes to their show [I can't seem to escape them outside of the show].

I know a lot of people don't watch the show, and the ratings are dropping big time, but they're playing this commercial on TLC now for Monday's episode:



Okay, now... We all know what the announcement is, seeing as they didn't spend their 10 year anniversary together or with the kids. They're separated. Big woop-dee-doo.

The best part of the commercial is not something you will catch right away, though. Watch it again. Pay attention to details. Do you see what's wrong?

They spelled family wrong; F-A-M-I-L-L-Y. Uhhhh... TLC... Where are your editors? Way to mess this huge promo up, idiots.

love,
elizabethany

quick shout out

Now, I don't normally do this, but the previous otter post reminded me of something my grandmother told me this weekend. [As far as I know, it's her favorite animal]

She [Mommom, as I call her] asked me if I got my Mac N Cool bowl. Weird, I thought... How does she know about that?! Then she informed me that she reads my blog pretty often, every couple of days even. And she said she needs to check it more.

My reaction to her: "Oh cool, thanks!!"

My real reaction in my head: "Holy S. She reads everything?! That's scary. What do I do?! Stop talking raunchy? Go all rated G?! Oh no. I put up a post dealing with sex today. What did she think?!"

Basically about 32872934 thoughts went through my head and they all had something to do with terror.

No worries, though. I'm totally cool with her reading this, and I will not be going all G on you guys!

But please.. Everyone join me in giving Mommom a big, warm, welcoming hello and hug! She's pretty great, after all.

love,
elizabethany

watch: otter plays the keyboard

Well this is just great. Animals are totally becoming way cooler than humans, and I love watching every second of it.

Now, an OTTER is playing a little piano keyboard.

I know what you're thinking... "What the H." Just watch.



Okay so maybe he didn't know if he was playing a tune, but maybe he did! Either way, he knew that as long as he played a couple notes, he could get more treats... And that, my friends, is exactly the key to life. Give a little get a little, right?!

Don't say I never taught you anything. Don't say an otter never did anything cool, either.

love,
elizabethany

Thursday, June 18, 2009

inside the real world house: floor plans

YES!! Finally some study material that I'm interested in other than the menu of the restaurant I'm beginning to work at!! The Real World DC house floor plan!!!






I'm a little disappointed. I don't see a hot tub. BUT! This is only 2 floors worth of floor plan, so I have not given up all hope.

I'm intrigued by the music room. It shows a big piano. I hope that doesn't mean there will be a bunch of lame-o's in the house. No one wants to be friends with a lame-o.

I will certainly look into this further. Maybe even print them out, and highlight the places I plan on being the most when I finally make it in there.

Also, make sure to have it handy so when you get my tweets from inside, you know what I'm talking about.

2 days, people!

love,
elizabethany

don't revirginize yourself

Apparently it is totally possible to become a virgin again, ladies!

There's some surgery that restores your hymen. [AKA your cherry] After it's restored, it gets popped again when you have sex so the guy sees everything he would as if you were a virgin. [I don't think I need to go into details, right?!]

Anyways, some lady decided it would be a good idea to do it before her wedding, and then every year after that for 6 years.... Even though the doctors told her it wasn't a good idea.

Idiot. Now she's in Intensive Care because of an infection.

You deserve it, lady. Sorry... But you can only be a virgin once. Maybe twice is acceptable.

love,
elizabethany

watch: hammertime strikes again

Welp. It happened again, and I'm pissed about it.

The Hammertime dancers took over Santa Monica Boulevard in LA as everyone honked and police sirens went off.



Dagnabbit!!! WHY am I NEVER around for this!? Seriously... Someone come to the DMV and do the Hammertime dance. In front of the Real World house, even?! Make sure I'm there, though!

I do enjoy the old man in this one, though. He's fabulous. And the assortment of different styles of tops on everyone is just great.

Ughhh, I'm jealous. Very jealous.

love,
elizabethany

because episode #2 was a failure



So, I celebrated my birthday by filming Episode #2 of elizabethanyTV's Finding the Real World DC Cast.... And now it's just not working.

After spending hours recording and editing it, it decided it didn't want to work anymore, and now I will have to redo it.

The thing about that is.... I'm probably not going to redo it. I'm filming #3 tomorrow, so #2 is going to get wiped out, and #3 will now be #2. Are you following me?

Okay, so this shall be the typed up, uber quick version of what was #2. AKA-- My response to a certain haterrific blog called "Anti-Real World DC."

First off, I want to thank a couple people who are now following my journey! I checked my Twitter one day and BAM! People were tweeting about me!



So thank you... And I promise to make it interesting! Maybe Kane will discover how awesome his former intern really is within the next couple weeks...

Back to business... These haters apparently live a couple feet away from the house or something, and are hating the fact the roommates, and my future BFF's, will be moving in soon. They're going to party, get wild, have tons of drama, bring lots of publicity, and just be obnoxious. But hey, that's what TV is all about right?!

I feel as though DC has a bad reputation for partying.. As in, we don't know how. False reputation, though. We know how to get down! And by we, I do of course mean the entire DMV, even though the people at Anti don't recognize the M and V.

In fact, for some reason they think people in VA and MD don't go to DC and party... And when they do, they puke outside all the bars in Adams Morgan.

....Interesting. I'm from VA. I go to DC every weekend. I have never once puked from alcohol. Am I alone in this? Definitely not.

They have this map that tells people how to avoid the cast members "like the plague" but I think it's rather pointless. They have liquor stores, a club, and the house on there. Big woop-dee-doo. I'm sure the producers get them whatever alcohol they might want, anyways. Alcohol= better ratings.

Also, a guide to DC for all of the roommates and future best friends of elizabethany. Problem is, I don't know if it's accurate. Sure, I don't LIVE IN DC, so I don't know everything about it... But I know what I've observed in all of my trips since I was born.
  • I know liquor is not cheap. Not compared to other places I've been, anyways.
  • I know people from VA and MD go to DC on a regular basis.
  • I know that the castmates may not be the Harvard grads of the country, but they know to use an AC in the summertime. I also know they will have one.
  • I know the roommates don't bring a car to DC. That's a stupid comment. I also know that they will be given a car, and forced to drive in it for the sake of interesting car-ride conversations. However, I do hope to teach them how to do fun flips and tricks on the Metro after hours.
I did get a little excited when I saw their tips for people who will hook up with a Real Worlder. [DingDing!! That'll be ME!] Then I read it. Bring Penicillin, don't wear Obama t-shirts, do wear Palin glasses, don't tweet from the house, and quit my job.
  • I don't have an Obama t-shirt, nor would I wear it on the show. I'm going to wear much more scandalous outfits that show my goodies.
  • Sarah Palin glasses are so 2008.
  • I WILL tweet from inside the house, and it will say something like this: "OMG I'M INSIDE THE HOUSE ABOUT TO GET IN THE HOT TUB! Everyone's making out and we are totally like BFF's already!" I will also post pictures exclusively to love, elizabethany. You're welcome.
  • Quit my job?! Pff. I don't even have a real job!! And hopefully when I do, they'll think this is all great. If they don't.. Well... Screw them!
Really, Anti-Real World DC is a great blog, and pretty interesting... But no one likes a Negative Nancy. I'm pumped about the Real World finally coming to DC!! Who knows how it will portray DC, but I'm pretty sure none of the seasons have ever made a place look bad, and I don't see that happening this time.

To the people of ARWDC--> If you'd like to switch residencies for the next couple of months, I'd be willing to work out an agreement. It would help in my mission, and I'm sure the roommates will want lovers around, not fighters. Also, I'm glad we share the same birthday weekend! While you are avoiding the cast members, I will be actively trying to find them somewhere in the streets so I can take a birthday shot with them and maybe even perform in the hot tub to a certain song by Jeremih. [Did I really just share all of that?! Whatevs.] Also, I fully enjoy the letter to single ladies. It's funny.

To my eTV followers/subscribers and loyal readers, sorry to disappoint with the elimination of episode #2. No worries, though. The next episode will be posted by move-in day! [SATURDAY!!!]

love,
elizabethany

PS: I'm sure I will add onto these thoughts/give more responses throughout the next couple of months... It'll be more interesting, though.
PPS: For episode 1 of eTV's Finding the Real World Cast, click here.