nifty?: the liquid lapdance is mostly disturbing

Some things are weird and I think they're still a great idea, some things mostly bother me... the Liquid Lapdance Underwear is one of those bothersome things.

They're for guys headed to the strip club. They have some lube in them, and make it so you can "simulate sex" more while getting a special dance. [FYI this is extremely NSFW]

Guaranteed to finish or your money back?! So here's the question: Do you just walk around in your soiled underwear for the rest of the night?!

Also:

1. What does it feel like when you're walking around with wetness before the action?!
2. If it has "room to get a boner," is it gonna be all extra bulgy down there? We don't like being teased, fellas. 
3. IS THAT HOW LAPDANCES ARE NOW?! I need to step my game up.....

This is just gross. I can't imagine how it would be for the hours after getting done... Barf City. 

Please don't buy these... but if you're a perv and must... or need a good gag gift... here ya go. 

love,

elizabethany

Tweet

watch: 90's nostalgia microsoft ad will make you smile

It's not often I post any kind of legit advertisement on here, but when it has to do with the 90s and it actually made me smile and LOL, I gotta share!

Microsoft is helping the people understand why they've changed so much with this awesome piece of nostalgia.


It's perfect! Now I understand, Microsoft! And I give you even more plus points for all the advertising they've been doing for the new Windows. It's been more effective on me than anything else I've seen recently. [I want those new tablets with magnetic keyboards SO bad after seeing the dancing commercial!]

And they hit everything that we truly loved in that commercial. Gah. I wanna watch it again. Foreals.

love,
elizabethany

Tweet

video games galore in the 1996 toys r us ad

I've shown you a Best Buy ad from 1996 before, but now it's time to take a look at what all the kids were asking Santa for from the Toys R Us ad.

First of all... why in the world were there THAT MANY gaming systems?! Am I crazy for thinking that's a lot?! And no wonder my parents were so eager to get my brother and I Gameboys... They were the cheapest option and we wouldn't fight over the games!

Another reason I love the 90s: It's the last time I could actually play video games and win at them. This whole double joystick thing is just too much.

love,
elizabethany

Tweet

new fun game!: when condoms become branded [in bed]

Ever get a condom from a bar or some random place? Hopefully you threw them straight into the trash. Let's be real: Those things aren't going to stop any babies from being created.

These probably won't either... but IF they did in fact exist, I'd save them forever just so I could have a good chuckle every once in a while.

No, they don't really exist beyond this clever little Tumblr, but some of these slogans really are perfect.

Maybe we should start adding "in bed" to all popular slogans, instead of fortunes.

• "The Breakfast of Champions in bed"
• "Break me off a piece of that... in bed"
• "Good 'til the last drop in bed"
• "We love to see you smile in bed"
• "Tastes great, less filling in bed"
• "Where's the beef in bed?"
• "It gives you wings in bed"
  

Yeah. This just got fun. What else do you have to add? Tweet or comment it! I'll totally share!

love,
elizabethany

Tweet

#90sflashback: a sunday best buy ad from 1996

This will either make you cry because you paid so much for these items, excited because technology is so much better now, or laugh while reminiscing on the good ol' days.

Look at the price of the desktop computers! Holyyyy. Nowadays smart phones are more expensive than simple computers!

And $900 for a 32" non-HD TV?! Yowza. Money was even worth more back then... Insane!

Check out more of the ad here!

love,
elizabethany

Tweet

more advertising to make america look lame

A billboard company in the Netherlands had an open billboard that they wanted to be taken immediately. So what'd they do? They decided to have a male stripper do the dirty work for them.


Okay, he's probably not a professional stripper, but each day they changed it and he had less and less clothing.

I don't know what the outcome was, but I betchya it scared someone! It definitely caught their attention!

Because I do actually wanna see such a thing, I will say this again- American advertisers, step yo' game up!

love,
elizabethany

Tweet

what if ads were made by bullies?

Advertisements are always a whole lot of positivity. The company has to look good, and it has to make you feel good.

But what if they were straight up honest made by bullies?

They'd be a lot more comical.







Hey, I'm against the bullying thing but like... sometimes it's just really funny.

This made me LOL loudly in the morning, so thank you to LiLu for tweeting it, and College Humor for making it happen.

I wonder if any company will ever really have the balls to make such ads. They'd get a lot of attention, which is the goal, right?

love,
elizabethany

Tweet

holy hott! audrina's new bongo ads

Tweet If there's anyone that will ever make K-Mart and Sears look amazingly attractive, it's going to be Audrina. I don't think anyone else could do it [even though K-Mart does have a good selection of shoes online].

Check out her latest photoshoot for Bongo, which is sold at those stores, and tell me you don't wet your pants.

I mean DANG GIRL!

I totally want that bathing suit, too. She makes it look classy and sexy at the same time. Too bad I don't think I could do that.

And now I've realized that this has turned into a relatively lesbian blog. Whatever. Tell me she's not hott and sellin' the ISH out of these clothes, and I'll prove you wrong with everyone else.

love,
elizabethany

watch: richard henne's bear scratch

Tweet Remember Balloon Boy?! Remember his crazy dad?!

Well, he's still trying to do anything he can to be rich and famous... And his next idea: The Bear Scratch.

It's for anyone who itches like a son of a twitch, and it takes care of it like nothing else before.



This guy is seriously nuts. First of all, dude- no one can be like Billy Mays. Just stop.

Second- GIVE UP ON LIFE. Kthanksbye.

love,
elizabethany

watch: lebron wants to know what you want from him

Tweet I LOVE this video! LeBron James has been under a lot of Heat [teehee, get it?!] since his decision a couple months ago, and now he's gettin' the chance to fire back at the world with his new Nike ad.

The awesome part: he's totally classy about it.

The not so awesome part: Mikey P totally beat me to the punch and posted it before me, so click here to check it out! You definitely want to.

love,
elizabethany

watch: the situation does situational training for vitamin water

I can't believe I'm going to say this, but this ad is funnier than the Old Spice ones.

The Situation has taken the role of endorsing Vitamin Water by putting athletes through his "Situational Training" to become all hott and GTL-worthy.

It's... perfection.



I try to hate on him, and I can't. And neither can you. The guy has gone from zero to hero thanks to having abs of steel. Now his ridiculous language is taking over our country and we're letting him. Soon he'll be president.

love,
elizabethany

beyonce is annoying even in advertisements

Tweet

I try to give Beyonce a second, third, fourth chance with everything she does, but it never really ends up successful.

Her new Dereon ads are out now and she looks hott in the pictures....

...BUT [I'm sure you expected the but] her video proves that she still doesn't have much of an imagination.

Cue the leotards, anything that can show her booty and legs, and lots of very sexual movement/dancing.

The only thing she's missing are her two backup dancers!

Look, I get it: She's hott, and if she's got a body, why not flaunt it?! I'm all about that! I was okay with her first and maybe even second video that included a leo, a dance breakdown and two backup dancers... But now it's getting way too predictable for my liking.

PLUS: Is she really selling clothes in any of this!?

Maybe one day I'll meet her and have to apologize for all the trash talking, but in the meantime, I'm here to speak my mind as usual.

love,
elizabethany

watch: homer simpson yells at tiger

We knew everyone would want their chance to yell at Tiger Woods after the Nike ad hit the Internet.

I never expected one of those people to be Homer Simpson..



Never expected it, but boy am I glad he did.

You're my favorite so far, Mr. Simpson. I feel as though we share the ADD trait.

love,
elizabethany

creative anti-smoking ads

If you know me in real life, you know that there's one thing I'll probably end you in Never-Have-I-Ever-With: Never have I ever smoked a cigarette.

I'm pretty much a walking truth advertisement, come to think of it. I hate smoking. They say hate is a strong word, and I don't even think it's strong enough.

Anyway, before I get all crazy, I just wanted to show you some of these cool anti-smoking ads. Some people get really creative with it!

All I'm sayin' is... Don't smoke. I don't judge, but if you blow smoke in my face, prepare to see angry ebeth.... And I shall warn you: She's no one you want to meet. [/PSA]

How clever are they, though?! Lovin' em.

love,
elizabethany

baby diaper ad imitates david beckham

It's no new revelation that Asian companies have odd ways of advertising things. Their new ad for GoodNites diapers is no exception.

For some reason they thought it'd be a good idea to grease up a little boy and put a rope around him, imitating the ad that David Beckham did for Armani over the summer.

Uhhh, yeah. I'm creeped out. First of all- I'm not looking at the diaper, I'm wondering why the H this baby is looking at me the way he is.

Then I'm trying to help him out of that diaper because he's obviously freaking out and sweating because it's uncomfortable, smelly, or he's constipated and it's not going to be pretty.

Please, someone help him.

And no.. I don't want anyone to help Korea learn how to advertise because it's entertaining... And probably working in some weird twisted way. Ugh. Those smart Asians... They always got it figured out.

love,
elizabethany

eva mendes is showin' some skin

There's somethin' about Eva Mendes that is hott, but in your not-so-typical way.

Anyway, that's a known fact. This week has been quite the skin-bearing week for her and it's only just begun!

It started with her racy Calvin Klein billboard in New York.

Apparently parents are going nuts over it saying it's inappropriate, and even officials are stepping in saying it's causing traffic jams and hazards and needs to be taken down right away.

So she's a little sweaty, grabbing a guy's underwear, spreading her legs, and wearing lace lingerie... So whattt?! It can't be that distracting.... Right?!

She also got caught letting a little somethin'somethin' slip out.

You should know what I mean, and understand why you're going to need to click the picture below to see what happened when she turned just a little too much.

the latest x rated advertisement

Here we go again. ANOTHER advertisement from a different country that screams "HEY AMERICA!! You're PRUDE for not doing things like us!"

Check out this pickle advertisement in some German magazine:

I mean.. WOW. Were the juices really necessary?!

It's freakin' funny, though! And it catches your eye BIG time! You'd think everyone would catch onto the idea sooner or later..... Instead, our pickle companies are advertising with this:

Germany-1. America-0.

love,
elizabethany