how to: turn your graduation cap into a flask

Can we travel back in time four years, let me regraduate, but already know this little trick?!

Some genius named Dominique Zamora figured out how to turn your cap into a full functioning flask, drinking straw included.

Seriously, y'all..... Talk about ending your college career the right way! And if you go to a school where you have to wear the tassel, I'm sure it'd be plenty easy to attach it in a way to conceal the straw thing.

Someone do this. Like now. More details here. 

love,

elizabethany

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nifty: life-size gummy versions of yourself

Once again, Japan is proving that they're THE COOLEST COUNTRY EVER!

To celebrate "White Day," which is kinda like Valentine's Day, one company is making life-size gummy versions of people. LIFE-SIZED, GUMMY, YOU!

I'm not saying we should ever eat that much gummy substance, but like.... Just IMAGINE being able to take a bite out of yourself!
Okay, maybe that's a little creepy.

Did I mention it only costs $65?! And a little time standing in front of a camera.

 Just imagine your honey unwrapping this beast of a candy. You'd win any gift giving contest for the rest of your life.

Seriously. I've had enough of all this teasing. It's time to move to Japan. Surely they have some kinda American/English radio there........ WHO'S WITH ME?!

love,
elizabethany

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i spy: gifs of parents "gettin down" at the club

I'm not sure if I'll ever laugh as hard as I did when I saw my dad tear up the dance floor, but being out the other night and see a couple of parents doin' their thang had my jaw dropping.

First of all, the Cosby sweater dad... 

He didn't need any other moves. Rocking back and forth with a little extra flair caught my eye more than blondie twerkin' it on the side. 

Then we had this lady, who may not be a mom, but she looks like one.

She was all about DJ Canrock giving her some attention, and she worked him like a pole... on the stage. She clearly loved that accidental ass touch, too.

But now, my friends, I present to you this mother/daughter duo [again, my assumptions.] They came dressed in some serious clubwear, thigh-high boots, and coats that they only wore on one arm, because two would obviously make them much too hot.

Just twerkin' away on her daughter.. 

I call this the "now lean back, lean back, lean back...."

Keep up that rhythm, ladies. 

And then... I got caught, just as the humping was beginning. Mama wanted every bit of junior's booty in her lap, and thought the video-bomber was just playin' along too... Silly drunk goggles.

I really need to start sitting back and observing other people like this. People watching is just so, so much fun... almost as fun as causing the scene yourself. 

But seriously.... I hope I run into those two ladies again. Pure entertainment. 

love,

elizabethany

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watch: 18 things that actually exist

This video is going to make you say WTF, it's also gonna have you amazed, and then when you get to #16, you're gonna laugh your ass off.

I've tweeted about a few of these things, but for the most part it's new knowledge to me!


BINOCULAR SOCCER?! SERIOUSLY?! Hot damn those Asians are effing smart. Ellen needs to jump on board and make that her new game.

love,
elizabethany

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watch/nifty: hilarious equestrian workout system from asian people

Forget the Shake Weight and any other sexual workout items. This here, my friends, tops them all.

And thank God for the Asians who give us such beautiful pieces of equipment.

Now equestrians can simulate the ride in the comfort of their own home.........



First of all, there's no way they can really pretend like this is all about "simulating riding a horse." They're just smarter than us and think of sexual things, THEN try to compare them to other, more innocent things... I would bet my bottom dollar on that.

Either way, I do think it'd be fun to have. And it might even work some muscles! But I think it would work even better with a partner... ya knowww?!

love,
elizabethany

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watch: adorable narcoleptic baby

Reason # 349857 I want to adopt an Asian baby girl: THIS little thing!

Just like Big Hush said, she's kind of like me on my Birthday this year. She's happy and bubbly one second, and knocked out the next.



So. Freaking. Cute. I want her.

And proof that we're obviously meant to be from my Birthday:

Woops.

love,
elizabethany

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nifty: the world's longest bridge in china

I remember hearing about the plans for this bridge four years ago, and I'm in shock that it's already done! Those Chinese peeps know how to get it done.

It's the world longest bridge. It's 26.2 miles long over the Jiaozhou Bay.

I'm not going to lie... I don't know if I'd be able to drive over that thing. It looks like it's never going to end! There's no sign of anything in sight! Yikes.

It is exciting in the sense that we'll be able to see the possibility of driving over longer bodies of water, though.... if you're brave.

love,
elizabethany

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pankun the chimp and james the dog are the cutest besties ever

If this isn't a match made in my Heaven, I don't know what is.

Meet Pan-Kun the chimp and James the bulldog. The're besties that star in Japanese shows, and they're the cutest freakin' thing since the dancing baby. [Okay, MAYBE there have been cuter things since then...]

I can't stop watching them! They are TO DIE FOR. I'm in love.

Who wants to travel with me to kidnap them?! We'll NEVER get caught...

love,
elizabethany

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watch: the social network in one minute

Tweet These Asian peeps really like to turn an entire movie into one Asian, animated, hysterical mess.

Their latest victim: The Social Network.

If you don't have time to see the movie, just watch this and you'll be all caught up.



The only thing you really miss out on is the ever so fantastic line of "I'm 6'5". 220 pounds... and there's two of me!"

love,
elizabethany

watch: little asian boy dancing

Tweet This is incredible.... Incredibly disturbing and OMG-worthy.

I guess this little Asian boy wants to be the next scandalous pop star... after a sex change, of course.



Yeah, that just happened.

Once again, thank you people of Asia.

love,
elizabethany

watch etv: channeling my inner asian

Tweet You already know that I love all things Asian. Do you think it's coincidence that it's a sushi/hibachi restaurant sponsoring my 90s Madness?! Not me.

In order to know what the h I'll be talking about and promoting for the next couple months, I went to Haiku and tested the waters... fo FREE! I tried to indulge in the full Asian experience by using chopsticks but... uh... well... You'll see.

It's a quick, simple, slightly comedic eTV video. [PS: Check the new eTV logo! Is it bangin' or what?! Thanks to my handy-dandy BFF!]



Thank you white boy Asian chef for putting up with me and thank you Emo Sarah for capturing the moment. One day I'll learn to have manners at the table... One day.

love,
elizabethany

watch: the fat bellies

TweetIf I didn't convince you before that Asians are the best thing to happen to the world Internet, this will certainly help.

I don't know what the purpose of it is, but they're the fat bellies. And they're hilarious.



I'm pretty sure they're making fun of Americans, but I'm okay with it. We're fat and we're proud.

Thanks again, Asians.

love,
elizabethany

watch: angry karaoke man

TweetIt's a good day for Asians on this here blog. Well, I guess it always is.

Anyway, you gotta watch homeboy sing "Before He Cheats." I'm thinking he has a little built up anger that he decided to finally let out.



After I got over the initial fear of him falling over and having a heart attack, I was crying laughing. This is the most amazing karaoke I've ever seen. I shoulda known, though... Asians are the inventors of the fantastic drunken past-time.

Way to let it all out, man. Another way to do it- Complete the sentence: If you really knew me.....

love,
elizabethany

meet the cast of k-town

A couple months ago we saw the casting call: They wanted Asian-Americans who acted like the kids from Jersey Shore.

Now we have the official cast, their pics, and some info about them! ...And they're nothing like the ones I imagined.

They're literally squinty eyed Jersey Shore kids. [Is that wrong of me to say? Oh well.]

The show has its own Twitter, but is not picked up by any network yet!!! What the heck!!? It's produced by Tyrese, but apparently no one is interested. Take a look at some pictures from taping:

And OF COURSE they found their version of The Situation. Meet Peter Le:

I know if I owned a network, I'd jump on this without hesitation. This will absolutely be my favorite show if it hits television. Can you imagine the epicness?!

Everyone follow them on Twitter now. Get the word out that this could be retardedly awesome and hopefully we'll be watching it in no time.

love,
elizabethany

PS: Peter- I'd holler.

watch: lala the pet penguin

Wild animals as pets may be cruel to some people, but I think it's freakin' awesome. Otters, lambs, elephants etc. are exactly what I want in my house when I grow up.

I'd also really love a penguin. A penguin named Lala who wears a backpack and walks to town on his own to get his fish, to be exact.

How freakin' GREAT is he?!? Ugh. I want him. [But OF COURSE it's a couple of Asians who have thought of this great way to keep him as a pet!]

love,
elizabethany

the coolest thing ever: the fake pool

This is freakin' cool. Totally random, but awesome.

It's the Japanese fake pool. [Go figure. The Asians ALWAYS have the coolest things.]

From the top, it looks like there are people chillin' on the bottom of a pool.
From the bottom, it feels like you're inside the pool and people are looking down on you.

It has officially been added on my things to experience/places to visit before I die... Or before I'm old.

love,
elizabethany

watch: completely transformable apartment

If you're like me, you like a lot of living space in your home. [Maybe because of all your S, maybe because you like having parties...]

Homeboy invented a way to have a very small space but have plenty of space, and up to 24 rooms!

I shall call him Hong Kong homeboy, because that's where he lives. [An Asian created such a thing... go figure.]



How neat! Literally, clean... but also cool!

I don't think all of my stuff would fit into such a place, nor would I want to put in so much effort every time I want to switch rooms, but dangggg! It sure is different and something to show off!

You've impressed me again, you silly Asians.

love,
elizabethany

your wtf video of the week

What better way to start off my blogging today than with a big "WTF"?!

Just watch this advertisement for Bukkake Milk... a Japanese product. [That should tell you what you're getting yourself into...]



Yeah... I know. WTF.

love,
elizabethany

watch: whitney houston asian boy can dance

If you haven't heard about Lin Yu Chun and his ridiculous rendition of Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You," it's time to watch him sing it right now on Taiwan's version of American Idol:



Holy S, right?! He's flipping GOOD!

And if that didn't make me love him even more [on top of the fact that he's Asian], check out his super sweet dance skills:



The cherry on the sundae: His nickname is Little Fatty.

I wonder if I can somehow get him over to the States just so I can give him a squeeze and tell him I love him....

love,
elizabethany

there are more jersey shore spin-offs

After one season of Jersey Shore, we're all craving more...

...But will we be craving it after a second season with the same people, a third season with new people, Brighton Beach, and Jersey Couture?

Producers of many companies think so. So much so they're creating what seems like an entire network of Jersey Shore-like shows.

The latest: The Asian version.

"Looking for interesting, attractive, colorful Asian-Americans to cast in a reality show similar to 'Jersey Shore,' 'Real World,' 'The Hills,' etc.... We need attractive Asian-Americans with lively, strong and unique personalities between the ages of 18 to 30 with equally interesting life stories and perspectives to share, especially individuals who know about and/or experienced the Koreatown life."
-Craigslist posting

Hold up. ASIAN CENTERED?! This is way more genius than the Jersey Shore, for sure!

We all know how much I love my Asians. They are the most entertaining race on the freakin' planet. Imagine all the videos I've shown you in one show! Plus, give them a few drinks, and we suddenly have a bunch of red humans running around!

I can't wait. I will absolutely watch such a show. Maybe I can even help recruit some of my friends for it. I do work in Annandale, VA after all... Maybe they could even have the show there!

[Sidenote: I bet they'll never have a black version. Not because it's already been done with College Hill, but because people are still afraid to be "racist" towards them. What a shame. I'd totally watch that too.]


Another show has already been filmed and is set to air at the end of the month!!

Name: Sunset Daze. The typecast: Old people.

Not kidding. They got a bunch of crazy old people who apparently partake in "steamy scenes in jacuzzis, a wild night out at a gay rodeo and makeout sessions during happy hour."



As much as I want to watch it and see what really goes down, I'd rather not imagine my grandparents going to a gay rodeo in their free time.

..Then again... Hopefully I can make my imagination fail me for a little bit.


Do you think it will all be too much?! Will you watch all of them?! I really don't see myself wasting so much time on one type of show, but I can't predict the future.

Bring on the drama and shock value!

love,
elizabethany

PS: Here are some pictures of your original faves moving in to their new Miami home: