the everyday struggles of a former big booty girl

Once upon a time, I had one of the most magnificent butts. It was a part of my gymnast body. Small-small-small up top then BAM. A booty of 100% muscle.

Then.... I got fat, then lost the weight... and along with it, my ass.

Some people worry about losing their flat abs they once had, I'm pissed no one is calling my butt "its own planet."

I've noticed some other friends of mine have also lost their signature body part, so I'm assuming people can relate to this list. If you can't, at least you can feel my everyday pain and torture.

• Songs like "All About That Bass" or "Baby Got Back" come on and at first you're all YEEEAAAHHHH THIS IS MY JAM... before quickly realizing that you should sit your non-ass down and shut up. 
• You crop pictures not because you're fat, but because you're flat
• When someone else is told their ass is nice or big, you feel immediate [not slightly justified] hate for that person.
• Finding jeans or size small bottoms that actually fit bothers you. 
• You try every "booty boot camp" exercise, and get frustrated when they don't work immediately.
• You're constantly looking at your profile in the mirror trying to convince yourself there's still something there.
• Looking back on old pictures doesn't hurt because you miss your friends... you miss your badonk. 
• You have to endlessly search for jeans that will give it an illusion of being bigger and rounder, something it used to do on its own.
• You feel like you're going through an identity crisis because WHAT WILL YOU BE KNOWN FOR NOW?!
• You know your body has absolutely nothing to offer now.
• It takes everything in your being to admit it... if you ever do.

All good things must come to an end, I guess... and pictures like this must be retired.

love,
elizabethany

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an ode to now cd's: 20 reasons why they're da bomb

SAY IT AIN'T SO! Rumor has it NOW CD's could be coming to an end after nearly 30 awesome years.

I feel like their credibility or coolness has faded over the years, but I'm here to remind you how awesome they really were, especially the first 20.

Here are 20[+] reasons/proof with their corresponding editions of the United States' "NOW That's What I Call Music!" CD.

1. An angry song that anyone can like.
   
2. Taught us we might dance the funky chicken on our 75th wedding anniversary, but we shouldn't congratulate ourselves too much.
   
3. Doing it all for the Nookie= A-OK.
   
4. Macy Gray and all her raspiness.
   
5. Don't let your memory of soulDecision be Faded.
   
6. All Around the World, it as all Yellow.
   
7. Hataz gon' hate.
   
8. Mandy Moore is in fact crush-worthy.
   
9. One name: Ja Rule.
   
10. Takin it old school and shakin' it like that.
    
11. Jennifer Love Hewitt was a singer.
    
12. Justin Timberlake and JC Chasez, though separate, both on one album. [Eh hum. Pretty sure this proves NSYNC rules. If not, see the end of this post.]
    
    
    
13. We know we can be what we wanna be.
    
14. The CD's are just... like WO.
    
15. The first F-you break up song.
    
16. And then there was Petey Pablo.
    
17. and the debut of Ashlee Simpson.
    
18. There was always a little country music mixed in.
    
19. They got you Feelin Good.
    
20. The debut of Rihanna Must Be Nice, and I think I'd Lose Control if I'd only pick one song from this edition that Phunk'd With My Heart.
    

And if that isn't enough to remember its awesomeness, you should know that NINE BACK TO BACK CD's had Justin Timberlake music... whether it was NSYNC or solo. That's just beautiful... and proof he needs to get his ass back in the studio.

love,
elizabethany

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maxim's hot 100 2011

Ask Men and Maxim both come out with their 100 hottest women every year, and now it's Maxim's turn!

I don't think that I agree with the list, and I definitely don't agree with #1, but take a look at some of the highlights for yourself:

I mean.. WHAT is that top 10?! Mila Kunis is probably the only one I agree with! GoodNESS!

Also: YAY for Britney beating the princess! Take THAT, royalty!

Who would you have in your top 10? Do tell.

love,
elizabethany

PS: here's the full list for ya

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awesome underwater places i need to visit

If you know me IRL, you probably know something about my fetish with water. I'm obsessed with pools, beaches, and especially hot tubs... And yeah, you can let your mind wander right now.

I found this list of 10 awesome underwater places, and now I've added some more things and places to my bucket list.

Elevator at the AquaDom in Berlin. I would never leave it.



Serpent Slide at Atlantic Paradise. Then slide/ride goes through a shark infested lagoon for all you "thrill-seekers!"



Jules' Underwater Lodge in Key Largo, Florida. You legitimately have to dive down into the water to get into this lodge, relax, and just watch the underwater world.



Poseidon Undersea Resort in Fiji. If you have the $15,000 to spend, they'll give you two nights stay in this underwater resort and even give you a submarine to use whenever you'd like. Plus- All the walls are windows.



Hotel Conrad Rangali Island Maldives. The pictures sell it. Hellooooo, honeymoon.

Seriously... I can't even explain the amazingness I feel inside when I imagine staying in these places. Sugar Daddy, seriously, WHERE YOU AT?!

love,
elizabethany

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the stoner's bucket list

Tomorrow is 4/20, and although I would never condone celebrating such a holiday...... I found this pretty hilarious bucket list for stoners everywhere.

Click the pic for more; My faves are below.

• Build a giant “Scooby Doo”-esque sandwich
• Paint or draw a picture while high
• Watch five classic stoner movies in one sitting
• Have sex while high
• Combine three “classic” stoner foods to form a Megazord snack

love,
elizabethany

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the 25 hottest guys on the real world

Tonight marks the premiere of the 25th season of The Real World, and to celebrate, Complex Magazine put together a list of the top 25 females to ever come from the show.

I don't agree with their list, but their top 3 were Mallory from Paris, Irulan from Vegas, and Jamie from San Diego. According to them, the first Vegas was the most attractive season....

It inspired me to pick the hottest guys to ever come from the show. Straight or gay, with personalities definitely playing a factor, these are the most beautiful "Real" men from 19 years of TV. [Click to make it bigger, of course.]

I put them in order left to right to bottom, so obviously Alton is the hottest. I mean, damn. I drool over the thought of him. As for the hottest cast of guys- Hollywood wins that title with Nick, Will, and Dave.

Looking back at pictures from the older seasons, I remember thinking Jamie, Dan, and Randy were so hott, but the pictures either don't do them justice, or we need to be thankful those fashions have disappeared. [Ahem- Jamie's haircut]

Johnny Bananas was way hotter before all of the Challenge drama he's been involved in, but I still don't hate him. Mike the Miz was also a lot hotter on his season, and now I can barely stand him, but I picked everyone based on their character on the show.

If you disagree, think I forgot someone, or want to hate on the list, let me know your thoughts! I like a good debate.

And with two of those 25 being on tonight's premiere, I think us ladies will enjoy it.

love,
elizabethany

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new year hangover: the best of 2010

Tweet Happy New Year y'all! I'm back from my blogging vaca and ready to get things started in 2011! I decided not to have a resolution because the best things that have happened to me in the last two years have been random, unplanned curveballs.. So I'm going to leave my future completely up to fate.

Anyway, let's take one final look at 2010 with some of the "Best of 2010" articles I could find. Enjoy!

• Viral videos
• Quotes
• Outrageous outfits
• 10 stupidest products
• Hot searches
  
• Sports highlights in 247 seconds
• Musical moments
• Songs
  
• 10 news bloopers
• Epic fails
• Most watched YouTube videos
• Reality TV moments
  
• Shocking moments
  
• 75 cute animal pictures
• Best cat videos in 90 seconds
• Bad fashions
• TV series
• TV cringing moments
• TV commercials
  
• 20 Mugshots
• Oddball news stories
  
• Crime stories
  
• Ideas
• Scandals
• The "Perezzies" [Ugh]
  
• Badass sports moments
• iPhone apps
  
• Buzzfeed's videos
  
• 100 videos in 170 seconds
  
  
  
• And the one everyone's always talkin' about each year, DJ Earworm's Year in Review, "Don't Stop the Pop."
  
  
  

Twas a great year for me and as always- for pop culture! Hopefully it was just as great for you! Here's to the next go around!

love,
elizabethany

peace out, 2010!

It's that time of the year again... where I get to take a 2 week vacation from blogging because I said so. [Considering I haven't gotten my shopping done and I have to travel this year, I think this is necessary.]

BUT, before I disappear [not completely, I'll be tweeting and facebooking everything interesting, duh. I can't stay away 100%], I have to give you your Christmas card! [I got this designed just for me thanks to Art2Art Designs! AMAZING!]


And, I should point out that I wrote up my top 10 moments of 2010 over on EB IRL.


Thank you all for making so much of this possible. I mean it when I say I love ya! ;)

Have a very happy holiday!

love,
elizabethany

top 10 [+2] douchebags of 2010

Tweet If you've been a reader of my blog for a year or more, you know one of my favorite things about the end of the year are all the "Best of" lists that the internet comes up with.

One of the best ones so far: E! Online's Top 10 Douchebags of 2010


Okay, so maybe I added Taylor Swift fans and Amber from Teen Mom on there, but they obviously deserve to be! Somehow they were forgotten.

On E!'s list:

• Kanye West because what's a list of d-bags without Kanye? He even wrote a song about it.
• Jay Leno for the Late Night Wars debacle
• Taylor Momsen thanks to her raccoon eyes and being the epitome of a d-bag teenager.
• Scott Disick single-handedly represents all the reality TV d-bags.
• David Arquette f'ed it up between him and Courteney Cox and took away the belief in love for many.
  
• Mel Gibson's voice mails. 'Nuff said.
• Kate Gosselin is also a shoe-in for this list, too. Apparently she was very DIVA on DWTS.
• John Mayer just really doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut.
• Charlie Sheen had one hell of a night that landed him at the top of many people's d-bag lists.
  
• Jesse James left Sandra Bullock during the height of her career. He's just an idiot d-bag.

Obviously after Amber Portwood's brawl with Gary she needs to be up there. And I'm just givin' all you Taylor Swift fans a hard time. You know I love ya, right?

Who would YOU add, though? Obviously these lists always leave some people out, so who are you thinkin' was the ultimate doucher this year?

love,
elizabethany

4 the win: top 10 dc athletes to follow on twitter

Tweet Somehow I lit a spark under Mikey P's ass and he's on a roll!

He made a list of the top 10 DC athletes everyone needs to follow on Twitter, and it's obviously something you wanna check out.

love,
elizabethany

best jersey shore quotes of season 2

So I posted this yesterday, but some craziness happened and it somehow got deleted.

Anyway, I'd be lying if I said OMG I LOVE THE JERSEY SHORE I WATCHED EVERY EPISODE. Truth is- Teen Mom captured my heart this season and I don't have time to watch that much TV.

What I did catch of this season- all of the absolutely ridiculous amazing quotes. And with the help of my most reliable website, I shall present to you my top 10 +1, because we all know you never pick just 10.






They actually didn't include T-Shirt Time, which is the best thing to happen to this world since GTL, nor did they include the Obama tanning tax comment, but I guess we can't let Snookie hog all the quotes...

Thank you, people of Jersey Shore... for being so damn smart. Errr... entertaining.

love,
elizabethany

listen to the elizabethany show 042810

Sometimes I do my radio show and think "meh, that could have been a lot better." Sometimes I try to forget about it. Sometimes, like today, I know it was a good one.

Because of that, it's important for me to share it! For those of you who can't wake up early or are at work, download the podcast and listen in!

It's long, but you can fast forward through the songs you don't like, or have a free, 3 hour long commercial-free radio to listen to on your next road trip!

There's also a separate podcast if you want to listen to just the top 10 songs of 1995!



Thank you for listening, and you're welcome for the greatness. :)

Any requests, suggestions, comments, are welcome as always.

love,
elizabethany

funny soaps we should all try

I'm definitely one of those people who switches soaps/products/whatever all the time just so I can try new stuff, and this list of soaps gives me even more to try and I'm pumped about it.

They're a little bizarre, but bizarre= amazing. And yes... They're all totally real.

Turn into a cougar in no time flat?! Shooottt. Sounds like a bargain!



Apparently it's stainless steel that chefs can rub on their hands so that no matter what nasty smells they had on their hands, they'll be gone!




Looks like poop, smells like strawberries! I want it now.




This is one I'll definitely pass on. I think pickles have one of the worst smells in the world. I love them, but boy do they stink.



I'm sure all of you are thinking "This is perfect for ebeth!" False. Cat food is not one of my favorite smells. I love my Slutty Cat, but no thanks to the food smell.



If this can promise to get me the Absinthe high, which it says it can, I'm buying some right now.



Can someone please explain to be the bacon fascination right now?! All of these bacon flavored, scented, etc things- I just don't understand it!

This makes me want to take a shower... Or maybe it's the stench coming off of me. Either way... Sugar Daddy where you at?! I'm trying to try new things!

love,
elizabethany

top 10 reasons to play sports in washington dc

So recently, many players have left DC for new homes in all different sports. The Redskins let go of ten veterans, the Wizards recently let go of some of their top talents, and the Georgetown University is having trouble in basketball this year due to lack of recruiting.

So, in order to bring in some new names, I decided to make a little list of all the reasons D.C. is the place to be when it comes to playing a professional, or collegiate, sport.

Top 10 Reasons to Play Pro Sports in Washington

#10. Hellloooooo, Real World D.C. was just there! Okay so it's not a huge deal to athletes, but really, not many Real World towns have five major sport sporting teams such as D.C.. Just sayin.




To read the other reasons, click here!

love, e archive: 10 things football fans shouldn't do

Many of you are fairly "new" to this site. AKA You've found out about it within the last few months.

Because of that, and because the Super Bowl is just two days away, I think it's important to look back on a significant post from this time last year..... [Click the link below to read more.]

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It's SUPER BOWL WEEK!!! So how does love, elizabethany get prepared for such an event? Well, a football themed Top 10 Thursday, of course!!

In order to pick what I wanted to do, I thought of the 2 teams in the World Championship of football.... And it clicked. One of the teams [I'm not going to say which, but it should be pretty obvious] has really obnoxious fans. What makes them so obnoxious? A lot of things. Some of them being within the

10 Worst Things an NFL "Fan" Could Do or Be

the hottest disney men

It's totally normal to have a crush on a cartoon character, I swear. I once had a friend that was obsessed with Ariel. Seriously. I think he woulda given anything to marry her.

With that being said, it's absolutely OK for someone to make this list of the hottest Disney characters ever.

10. Captain Hook. Meh. I don't see it.

9. Prince Phillip from Sleeping Beauty. I'm not sure who created this picture, but damn. He should be up AT LEAST a few spots.

8. Thomas from Pocahontas... Played by Christian Bale

7. Jafar. Again... He's way too creepy and reminds me a little of Michael Jackson for some reason.

6. Prince Naveen from The Princess and the Frog. Holy moly. If there was any way to get me more excited for this movie, he's it.

5. Roger from 101 Dalmations. The nose is a bit much, but he does seem to be a lot of fun, eh?!

4. Aladdin. Again... These pictures! I need to try and contain myself.

3. Bert. Total cutie.

2. Gaston. Uhhh.. I'm scared.

1. Prince Eric. His hair is almost to perfection like Uncle Jesse's, but does he really beat everyone else?!

I seriously can't get over this new Disney prince. Wowzers. Someone make him real! I also feel like a pedophile looking at Aladdin like that. Woopsies.

Now, back to reality.

love,
elizabethany