Tuesday, June 23, 2009

nifty: garments that massage your goodies

Well this is both an absolutely idea, and a rather creepy/odd one.

There are actually articles of clothing with built in massagers!

I know what you're thinking... "Holy S. Which parts to they massage, and where can I get them?! Well, they massage just the places you were hoping for.

For the ladies, we have the massaging bra.

For the fellas, we have the massaging underwear/boxer-brief type things.

The best part about the bra and the briefs-- They claim they massage those areas for health reasons.

Make breast more healthy: Pangao breast enhancer effectively make breast up, dredge breast glands, eliminate blood stasis and effectively prevent women from breast diseases and flaccid, also can move fat and make a well-shaped figure. If use it often, you can have a sound sleep, immunity from disease and better internal secretion.

Oh... Did I mention they also make them BIGGER?! Apparently, it does.

The brief-things claim to work out the kinks in your junk whenever you're feeling a little.. Mmm.. Flustered down there.. If you will.

So my next question after reading about these is where the H can I get one, and pronto?!

Welp, you need to buy at least 500, because they only come in bulk.

I'm officially pissed. I don't have a sugar daddy who is willing to fork out money for 500 of these things. How will my breasts get big and healthy now?! Ugh. Maybe the doc can prescribe it or something.

Oh and uh... In case you thought the bra wasn't nearly good enough, don't worry. They definitely have vibrating thongs. Not only have I seen them at Spencer's, but my ex-friend-turned-skank used to wear them to school... High School.

I want someone to have these items right now. I also want to watch them use them. Is that weird? Pfft, don't care!

love,
elizabethany

1 comment:

BigRuss said...

I want to know what firend in highschool was wearing these, Awesome!