on the racks: tara reid does playboy

We've all been looking at pictures of Tara Reid for the past couple years and trying to hold back the vomit. Now, she's on the January/February cover of Playboy.


I'll be honest, she looks uber hott on that cover. Her knockers are rather gigantic, but she looks great, overall.

She says all the pictures that people have been seeing are old and before her body was fixed after bad plastic surgery....

“It wasn’t a good surgery, it happens sometimes. I got it fixed and now I’m OK, and I want people to know that I’m OK. I’ve been OK now for the last five or six years but people only show old pictures which is so unfair and that’s part of the reason why I did the Playboy shoot – to show the world this is me and this is what I look like.”

...Yeah, not buying that for a second. I'll say that she's been continuously looking better, but even in this interview the other day with WPIX she does not look like she used to in her prime.



She apparently posed topless, and maybe even naked, so I'll keep my eye out for the entire spread for you all. Until then, enjoy the tease that is the cover.

love,
elizabethany

on the racks: chelsea handler does playboy

Part of me was shocked when I saw who would be the holiday cover of Playboy, and the other part of me remembers her book all about one night stands. [The only book that I have ever read front to back, without skipping a single word, and what I plan on using as a model for the book I shall write later in life.]

Who's it going to be? My second favorite funny woman Chelsea Handler!


She looks SMOKIN'!! I'm sure there was a ton of Photoshopping done, but who cares?! All that matters is that it looks good!

They're calling the article "Chelsea Handler's Guide to the Holidays."

She talks about hooking up at office parties:

If you drink so much that it seems a good idea to hook up with one of your co-workers, try to do it somewhere a little less public, like a car. We have an official Chelsea Lately El Camino that we use for just such an emergency. If I notice a pair of drunken employees getting a little too frisky with each other, I'll throw them the El Camino keys and guide them toward the parking lot. If you're going to make a mistake you'll regret tomorrow, you may as well do it somewhere classy.

And dealing with her family:

My father has absolutely no social decorum at Christmas meals. He's usually the first to start eating, hoarding the food like he's preparing for a famine. And watching him eat is like watching a dryer on the spin cycle....Oh, and he also likes to urinate over our balcony. That's not something you want other people to witness, especially people who aren't directly related to you.

And a bunch more... Like what she thinks is the real reason for the season.

Ya know, I watch her show, and I think it's funny and all... But when I read things she says, I can't stop myself from LOLing. I need to get this Playboy in my stocking. Along with O when Ellen is on the cover. Kthanks, Santa.

Also, please tell me Chuy will be involved in plenty of these pictures. I will pee my pants in excitement.

love,
elizabethany

on the racks: marge simpson's playboy shoot

It's out for the public to see! Marge Simpson's Playboy spread!

I told you a couple weeks ago she was going to be on the cover and that I'd show you every picture I could, and that's exactly what I'm doing! [Thanks to My Digital Copy of Playboy]

The article is actually pretty funny! It plays on her innocence, and the fact that she's into men who do nothing but lose their hair, rock a beer gut, and go to the bar every night. She also says she's happy to be a MILK: Mom I'd Like to Know.

I love the doughnuts and Duff beer in a champagne glass! So classy.

What do you think, though?! Are you disappointed and wish they showed more? Do you think it lived up to the hype?

Now I can only wonder how other cartoon characters are going to feel. I'm sure they're very, very jealous.

love,
elizabethany

on the racks: marge simpson does playboy

Yes... You read right. Marge Simpson is the cover-gal for November's issue of Playboy.


It seems a little odd, and probably because it is, but maybe it's to celebrate the 20 years the show has been on..? I really don't know, but I guess we'll find out about the devil inside of her....

Inside the magazine will have plenty of naked and sexy lingerie pictures of your favorite cartoon mmm... MILF.

This will be interesting, to say the least. Don't you worry, folks. I'll have it all posted here once it's released.

love,
elizabethany

rise and shine 082409

Get up people! It's MONDAY! [Okay, I know that won't make you want to do anything, but maybe this will give you a nice little break then you can get back to work for the day...]

• Forget the concubine masturbator, this one is made out of 100% pure gold.
• Should you be worried about your car? Here are the lists of the Most Stolen Cars by state! Most popular nationwide: The Honda Accord... Whattt?!
• Aubrey O'Day thinks her Playboy pictures were better than Heidi Montag's. Maybe true, but I'm annoyed she's publicly saying that. They're both just MTV stars.
• Forget finding chicken heads in meals... What would you do if you found a scorpion?!
• Can't decide which career path to go down? Maybe this list of jobs guaranteed to get you laid will give you some ideas.
  
• Some people really have no business being on Facebook. This lady is one of them, and is the reason blondes have a bad rep.
  
• I don't know how I feel about all the Disney princesses looking all twisted, but it is kind of interesting.
• This kid only vlogs from Apple stores, where people look at him like he's crazy. He's awesome and I heart the little 13 year old.
  
  
  
• Wow. Uhh... This guy is mad at little boys who make fun of him. [Warning: Don't play this at work unless you have headphones.]
  
  
  
• And apparently buses do need seatbelts... Anyone can go flying to the front of the bus.
  
  
  

Alright, that's all for today! I'm in Morgantown until tomorrow so I'm sorry for the lack of posting, but I will come back HUGE, I promise! Have a GREAT Monday!

love,
elizabethany

on the racks: heidi montag does playboy

I saw Heidi Montag/Pratt tweeting about her Playboy issue coming out and thought "really? The pictures haven't leaked yet?!"

Welp, true to internet/Hollywood/whatever form, they sure have!!

How clever, Playboy. Giving everyone "the dirt" and covering her in dirt. Too bad you forgot to put even a little dirt on her face so it looks very awkward.

The inside pictures are a lot better, thank goodness.

The second one she really looks good in! The first- Eh.. Still a little corny with the dirt and stuff but at least it's still hott!

I'm sure there are more pictures in the issue that is hitting the stands tomorrow, so check it out and let me know what you think.

In the meantime, I'm sticking with my "this is rather awkward because the cover picture is terrible" opinion.

love,
elizabethany

playmate of the year is coming to dc

Did you know it's National Hot Dog Month?!?! Today is also Be A Dork Day, Winnie the Pooh Day, and Respect Canada Day.

But let's be honest... Hot Dog Month is totally celebration-worthy and should be our main focus here!

........... Okay, so I obviously don't agree... But former Playmate of the Year and girlfriend of Brody Jenner thinks it is! And she's choosing to celebrate right here in Washington, DC.

She's going to stand outside of the Rayburn House Office Building and hand out free veggie-dogs and brochures about how to become a vegetarian.

Wait a second... Veggie dogs are NOT hot dogs. Hot dogs contain meat that is completely undefined but delicious.

But, I'm sure everyone will be rushing over there to get a picture of her with "strategically placed leaves" while she hands out the nasty-dogs. If you do, make sure to send me a picture and I'll post it!

Welcome to DC, everyone and their mother now that it seems to be the cool place to come.

love,
elizabethany

meet the new playmate of the year

Las Vegas has one of the biggest parties of the year this weekend! [As if it's competition any weekend. I'm sure they always do...]

Playboy hosted the Playmate of the Year Party this weekend and announced the Playmate of the Year 2009 to be Ida Ljungqvist. [What the H kind of last name is that?!]

She's pretty.. Definitely exotic.

If you're 18+, click here for some of her spreads.

love,
elizabethany

secret: melissa's milking her 15 minutes

I hope none of you guys were thinking ex-Dallas Cowboys cheerleader/Bachelor loser/DWTS contestant was going to fade out after she finishes this season... I don't see it happening.

Hugh Hef has offered her $500,000 to pose in Playboy after she is done Dancing!

"Hef really wants Melissa to do a pictorial because she's the ultimate girl next door. He thinks she has it all: beauty, brains and spunk. And it doesn't hurt that she has a terrific figure."

She denied the offer.. For now, at least. She can't pose nude until at least 3 months after the season of DWTS wraps. From there, who knows what will happen, right?!

She's obviously hott, and would be great for the magazine... But if she wins DWTS, she could be set money-wise for quite some time. [They make pretty good money, for an average, not a real star, star.!]

What do you think though? Should she do it?!



love,
elizabethany

your celebrity trash update 032309

I missed a TON of stories that I could have reported on that I said I would just pretend I never knew, and not tell you guys about.

I lied. But here is the under 3 minutes-version of the top stories of last week. Listen, then check out the links below for more info.

Obama on Jay Leno
Justin Timberlake does alcohol
Kim Kardashian goes X-rated again
So does another pop star
RIP Natasha Richardson

Enjoy!

love,
elizabethany

she strikes again

THE hooker is back at it again. Ya know, Miss Aubrey O'Day.

Now she's spending time with funny lady Chelsea Handler.

What's on their minds? Well, since Chelsea is a little raunchy in herself [in the awesome, hysterical way], your imagination can't even begin to picture it all.

A couple key hints: Chuy gets spanked, Aubrey is bisexual?, her MOM talked her into Playboy, she didn't feel free, and oh wait.. D. Woods is there too. Imagine that.



Really Aubs? He had the PERCEPTION that you went from sweet girl next store to slutress? I think that's a reality.

Chelsea is right though. Diddy IS ridiculous.

I think you need to just become one of Hef's girlfriends, Aubrey. You have the look of one, and you play with your hair and act like a ditz just like the rest of them.

Wait.. Am I being too harsh?! Eh, oh well.

love,
elizabethany

realistic, much?

Let's be honest.. It's been a while since I've done a post about my girl Britney Spears. It's long overdue.

So, I'm doing one today. But for good reason!! Madame Tussaud's in London revealed another wax figure of BritBrit today!



Oh.. My.. Goodness. This looks INCREDIBLY real. It's kinda freaky. I'm pretty sure if I went there and saw it, I'd pass out just because I would feel like it was really her. Is that weird?

This one is in New York, and doesn't even come close to comparing to this new one in London.

It looks awkward and so not real at all. Way to go New York. Way to represent our girl. Not.

Also, her video for "Womanizer" was named Sexiest Video by Playboy for 2008. [It's a newly released poll.. I'm not behind.]

Atta girl BRITNEY! Keep it all comin'!

love,
elizabethany

naked body alert

The new issue of Playboy is out. Who's featured? I'll give you a couple clues. She's a hooker, she's the reason a multi-platinum group recently split up, and she thinks she's the ish.

Yup. Aubrey O'Day.

Here are a couple of the pictures, all PG-13 rated, of course.......



Oh wait.. Those are the only 2 that are rated okay enough for this page. So, you 18+ year olds, go ahead and click here for the whole spread.

who woulda thunk!?

Some networks are really struggling to come up with new ideas and shows these days.. And it's kinda sad.

I think I have given up on VH1 already. [Although, I've heard I need to watch "For the Love of Ray J... So we'll see.] MTV is on the borderline.

E! I am normally okay with. And even this new show I might catch from time to time.. But it does lack the "new" factor.

They're giving the most rambunctious Girl Next Door her own serious, simply called "Kendra," that will take us into her life as she leaves the life of everything handed to her by Hef, to the life of everything handed to her by a pro football player.

I mean... Uhh... As she becomes an "independent woman."

Anyways, it's going to be on this fall, on E! of course. And honestly, she was my favorite of the 3, and she's definitely entertaining, so maybe it will be good. Maybe. We'll see I guess. It might be kinda like watching Jessica on "Newlyweds" back in the day.

Kendra, do something great. But be yourself. We're sick of everything always being set up these days.

love,
elizabethany

not so smart decisions

So what has Aubrey O'Day been doing since she was kicked out of Danity Kane?

Well, she doesn't seem to be working extra hard on getting her music career back in order, nor does she seem to really care about getting dismissed.

Instead, she's more worried about posing for the cover of PLAYBOY!

Yeah, there's always been talk and rumors about it, but it's official. She's on the cover of the March issue, out February 13th.. And she's pumped about it.

She said it's "The most liberating thing I've ever done as a woman."

Say what?!

She's also been talking about how she understands why Puff did what he did and that her being out of the group is what's best. Oh, and that her AND her dog are absolutely obsessed with Miley Cyrus because we were all wondering about that.

THIS Aubrey has no business being in DK, true story. But the old Aubrey that everyone fell in love with at the beginning MADE the group, and now the new one ultimately lead to the collapse of it, and I'm pissed.

Congratulations, Aubrey, for ruining a perfectly amazingly-talented music group, and making yourself look like a complete hooker, which you apparently don't care about.

love,
elizabethany

adding to the collection

Not that anyone thought it would, but it didn't take long for the Hef to fill all 3 of the positions of his "girls next door."

You should already know about his twins, Karissa and Kristina Shannon.. But now he officially has one more!

Her name: Crystal Harris. Age: 22. What she thinks about herself: "I'm a good girl.. Most of the time."

Ohh boy. No Playboy girl is a "good girl." If they were, the rest of us would already be in Heaven we're so good.

Nonetheless, glad your life is back in place, Hef.. All blondes once again.. Imagine that.

love,
elizabethany

so not sexy

UN-Sexiest magazine covers of all time? I know you've always wondered what they could be..

Have no fear, The Examiner is here! To tell us ;)




Can't say I disagree! I don't know if I've seen EVERY magazine cover, but, none of these are very appealling.

But I don't think Michael Phelps' and Ciara's are nearly as bad as they make them. Oh well.

Chyna, you do GOT to go, though.

love,
elizabethany

new buns

We all know it's not hard for Hugh Hefner to find new women.. or.. girls, but who knew he'd have his new leading ladies THIS fast?!

And who knew they'd be barely legal.. age-wise and when it comes to past issues.



They're 19 year old twins, and both were arrested for aggravated battery in Florida. [They say it was self defense, but doesn't everyone say that these days?]

They're definitely hott, but can they fill the shoes of our favorite Girls Next Door?? They certainly want to.. and with a criminal record I don't think they can be too prissy of girls, eh?

But.. 19?! Really?! Yikes.

I think it's time to holler at some MILFs, Hef.

love,
elizabethany

can his empire really fail?!

Rumors are everywhere about the breakups between Hugh Hefner and his beloved "girls next door." [It IS true that Holly officially walked out on him for good after a talk in which he said he could/would not have kids with her.] They've got men on the side, they're not coming back for another season, yadda yadda yadda.

Another rumor: He's going bankrupt. True or false? Looks to be true.

He's been forced to cut staffing, and now he's hosting one of the infamous parties in hopes of making money.

If you want to go to the party at the mansion (in which he PAYS RENT to his company for.. 700,000$ a year!!) you have to dish out somewhere between 5,000$ and 25,000$. Woah.

Who knew guy's favorite magazine would end up strugglin'..

Thanks, US economy..

love,
elizabethany

apparently she's really multi-talented

So what will Palin do if she doesn't win the election with McCain?

The Pussycat Dolls want her to join the group.

....... What?!

Nicole Scherzinger, the lead singer of the Dolls, said "She seems like a headstrong woman, a tough chick. And she's hot." I guess that's all you need to be to be in that group.

AND! The Hef has even asked her to strip for Playboy! Wow.

Now I don't know if I'd rather her win the election or not..

Syke. That'd be totally entertaining to see. Good luck dancing, Sarah! :)

love,
elizabethany