speidi debuts two new songs for us.. yay....

Tweet Oh it must be the world's lucky day! Speidi is giving us not one, but TWO songs to listen to today!

Apparently Heidi Montag wasn't done with music after her "album" did worse than flop. As for Spencer- he's the next big white rapper, didn't ya know? He recorded this song about chicken a year ago and didn't like it, but now it's "okay."





Oh, God help us.

love,
elizabethany

heidi-fy yourself!

Tweet Oh this is fantastic and just another great way to waste time during your workday.

Thanks to @dannielleor's tweet, I was able to turn myself into the hottest girl on the block by Heidifying me.


I mean... it's no wonder she got all the surgery. I bet you'd absolutely want EB #2 over #1.

Itook it upon myself to Heidify my brother, who's bringing back his blog 4 the Win! [See... plastic surgery is for boys, too!]


And yes, Heidify is absolutely a word now.

Please share your Heidified selves with me when you make them! I'll even post them if you want! E-mail them to elizabethanyy [at] gmail.com!

love,
elizabethany

britney spears: airbrushed vs not

Everyone's freaking out about the crazy airbrushing that has been done to Britney's Candies ads. In order to show she's proud of her body and "flaws," she released the pictures before they were Photoshop'd, and now no one will let it go.

So they took out her camel toe, made her a bit skinnier, and lost the cellulite... So what?! They're going to do that with anyone in ads.

I think she looks pretty freakin' bangin' in the before pictures. She's certainly come a long way. I think what looks the worst is her face or hair, but even that is still not nearly as bad as it used to be, or as bad as others!

Let's compare her to Heidi Montag:

Who would you rather have/be?!



I'm glad she released them. She's a real person and she's doing a lot better than before! Rock on, Brit Brit!

love,
elizabethany

heidi mutant debuts her bikini

They say this is the first time Heidi Mutant has been pictured in a bikini since her surgery, but didn't we see it in People Magazine when it first happened? I guess not....

Anyway, I know you've all been waiting on the edge of your seat [maybe with a puke bucket next to you] for her to show off her new body, so here ya go:

Don't they say that a Barbie's body isn't real and would actually be very unhealthy if a woman had it and she'd probably fall over with those gigantic boobs?

I'm pretty sure Heidi is as close as we're going to get to a human Barbie. She is half human, half plastic at this point after all.

I'm going to go ahead and say the only thing that looks good is her butt. And yes, that's fake too.

I wanna hear from the boys, though:



The fact that she's holding the exact same bubble thing that my mom put in my Easter basket urks me too. Ugh.

love,
elizabethany

PS: For some reason I'm just now seeing this, and thought I'd share with you even more proof that Speidi is just... terrible and ridiculous.

watch: final season of the hills trailer

I didn't watch the last season of The Hills at all. Not even one episode. I'm pretty anti-Kristin Cavallari taking over.

That being said, after watching this trailer, I'm definitely going to be watching the final season. [Plus, I'll have an MTV void after this week.]



Kinda crazy seeing it start out the old way and then BOOM! Heidi Mutant is all plastic...

It's also interesting that they're finally commenting on reading the tabloids and stuff. Could this season actually be real?!

It looks good, that's all I'm saying. I will also enjoy all the Brody-ness. Mmmm...

love,
elizabethany

watch: heidi montag's against plastic [surgery]

I don't know if I'll ever get over Heidi's change. In fact, from now on I shall call her Heidi Mutant.

Anyway... Now she's "laughing with everyone" in her Funny or Die video that says no to plastic. Plastic credit cards, that is.



I mean... I guess it's great that she's laughing about not being able to move her face... But she's still freakin' me out.

Wowza. She's a female MJ. All she needs to do is turn into a black girl or something.

Remember when she looked like this on TV:



RIP Heidi Montag. Happy Birthday Heidi Mutant.

love,
elizabethany

on the racks: heidi montag in people again

Ya know when there's that freak in the room that it's rude to stare at but you just can't help it? That's what Heidi Montag is to me. I can't stop looking at before and after pictures of her. I even brought my laptop to the dinner table the other night to show my mom.

This week there's a fantastic full-body shot of her in People Magazine:

Seriously. I can't keep my eyes off of her. [And no, you perv.. Not in that I-want-you-now way] Her boobs are ridiculous. Her eyebrows give me that scary why-are-you-looking-at-me-like-that feeling. Even her hair looks terrible!

Here's how she feels about her transformation this week:

“I’m very fragile. I’m not in a great place right now. I was hysterical the whole time. It was so hurtful.... [But] I’m thrilled. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.”

How the eff can she honestly think she looks better now?!

This feeling I feel when I look at her must be the way some people felt watching Michael Jackson change, only worse. Wow.

What do you think?! Is she crazy for all the changes, or does she really look better now?!



PS: No basing your judgment on her boobs alone, boys!

Remember when she looked like this?

Yeah, she was way cuter back then... And definitely looked happier than she does now. I'm not sure she can even pretend to smile these days.

love,
elizabethany

no more twiggys!

[Clearly the UK is a way more interesting country with the amount of things I have been pulling from them lately.]

The UK did a study of some sort to find out what the ideal body types of women are when it comes to a woman's eyes and a man's eyes. It's really no surprise.. Women want to be smaller than what men want. It's all about comparison.

Keeping in mind that they're sizes are one bigger than ours [an 8 is actually a 6..], this is apparently the answer they came up with:

I will agree with the women's ideal on this, I think. As long as she's got some sort of shape when you look at her sideways, the flat tummy is totally desired.

Why does the size 12 look bigger than the 16 to me, though? Hmmm...

Let's take a love, elizabethany poll. We don't do it based on gender because that's annoying... We'll just take the overall average of desired size for a woman.

Use these as an example:

Jennifer Love Hewitt/Kim Kardashian

Miley Cyrus/Mel B

Kara DioGuardi/&/Bikini Girl

Audrina/Britney Spears

Kourtney Kardashian/Heidi Montag

I'm keeping my vote a secret until, and I bet you have no idea, but feel free to guess!

love,
elizabethany

watch: heidi montag does miss universe

I'm mad.

A GLOBAL BROADCAST that showcases some of the classiest [or should I say "classiest"?] women in the world gets to pick one or a couple performers for the show and who do they pick? HEIDI MONTAG/PRATT.

Yes. If you didn't already know [because I'm late to post this thanks to Morgantown, but it still needs to go up], Heidi performed at the Miss Universe Pageant. It was terrible, as you might imagine.

I love everything that they just said, but I've also seen people comparing her to Britney Spears on the VMA's when she wore her nude outfit.

WHAT! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!? How is it even possible to compare the two?! Sure, BritBrit may have lip synced too, but at least she can dance and put on a good show. She's also famous for doing something with her life. Heidi-- Not so much.

Angryangryangry. Heidi Montag or Pratt or whatever you want to call yourself, you suck at life and you give the US a bad name. Just so you know.

love,
elizabethany

rise and shine 082409

Get up people! It's MONDAY! [Okay, I know that won't make you want to do anything, but maybe this will give you a nice little break then you can get back to work for the day...]

• Forget the concubine masturbator, this one is made out of 100% pure gold.
• Should you be worried about your car? Here are the lists of the Most Stolen Cars by state! Most popular nationwide: The Honda Accord... Whattt?!
• Aubrey O'Day thinks her Playboy pictures were better than Heidi Montag's. Maybe true, but I'm annoyed she's publicly saying that. They're both just MTV stars.
• Forget finding chicken heads in meals... What would you do if you found a scorpion?!
• Can't decide which career path to go down? Maybe this list of jobs guaranteed to get you laid will give you some ideas.
  
• Some people really have no business being on Facebook. This lady is one of them, and is the reason blondes have a bad rep.
  
• I don't know how I feel about all the Disney princesses looking all twisted, but it is kind of interesting.
• This kid only vlogs from Apple stores, where people look at him like he's crazy. He's awesome and I heart the little 13 year old.
  
  
  
• Wow. Uhh... This guy is mad at little boys who make fun of him. [Warning: Don't play this at work unless you have headphones.]
  
  
  
• And apparently buses do need seatbelts... Anyone can go flying to the front of the bus.
  
  
  

Alright, that's all for today! I'm in Morgantown until tomorrow so I'm sorry for the lack of posting, but I will come back HUGE, I promise! Have a GREAT Monday!

love,
elizabethany

on the racks: heidi montag does playboy

I saw Heidi Montag/Pratt tweeting about her Playboy issue coming out and thought "really? The pictures haven't leaked yet?!"

Welp, true to internet/Hollywood/whatever form, they sure have!!

How clever, Playboy. Giving everyone "the dirt" and covering her in dirt. Too bad you forgot to put even a little dirt on her face so it looks very awkward.

The inside pictures are a lot better, thank goodness.

The second one she really looks good in! The first- Eh.. Still a little corny with the dirt and stuff but at least it's still hott!

I'm sure there are more pictures in the issue that is hitting the stands tomorrow, so check it out and let me know what you think.

In the meantime, I'm sticking with my "this is rather awkward because the cover picture is terrible" opinion.

love,
elizabethany

speidi: is this a joke?

Okay really... I'm not even gonna talk much about this because I am just baffled... But someone please tell me that everything Speidi is doing lately is a joke.

I don't even just mean Spencer... I mean both of them.

Look at this interview he did with Complex. The S he says is.. Just wow. Where does he come up with this stuff? Who does he think he is?

He's someone who's got more swag than Asher Roth ever will, who will create a better version of Bonnie and Clyde than Jay-Z and Beyonce, and who's the future of hip-hop. Oh, and Heidi is way better than Beyonce, according to him.

WHAT!!! No really. If you want to laugh, be boggled, whatever... Check out the interview.

Also funny... Another video from Heidi err... Pratt. Apparently her name is officially changed now. The song is a joke, the video is even worse. [Produced by Spencer, duh.] I can't wait to see what kind of videos Spencer comes up with. My goodness.



Let's see... What can I find in this that's decent. Well.. she has a nice ass. Ummm.... The lyrics are better than Spencer's...

These people are crazy.

love,
elizabethany

goodnight gossip 042709

Here you go! It's been 2 weeks, but here are 6 stories in 2 minutes! Enjoy!

Thanks to WVAQ!

love,
elizabethany

i now pronounce you speidi

It's official... Again. Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt tied the knot [again] this weekend... For all the cameras to see.

Forget about selling their wedding pictures to the magazines, it was uber public from minute #1.

Everyone from The Hills was there [yes, including LC] and even some Laguna Beach-ers!

No point in telling anything else... I'll get to the point. Here are the pictures.. From the rehearsal dinner to the wedding:

It looks like Kristin Cavallari was out catching the bouquet while LC was dippin' out in true LC fashion. I'm sure it's going to be a fabulous episode of 10 minutes of showing LC walk out of the wedding.

As for her dress-- Not a fan. But everyone in this whole wedding is absolutely gorgeous, so why take away from that with a wedding dress, right?! Ugh.

Congrats, I guess.

love,
elizabethany

watch: music teasers

I'm all about teases. News teases, video teases, under the sheets teases... It's all fun and games, right?!

So here are a couple of "teases" for musicians.

In this case, I need to say "musician." Speidi has been annoying everyone, even Perez, with his promoting of this tease for Heidi's music video... That HE shot. It's terrible. There's no need to promote it. But whatever... Here it is anyways.



Really though?! Does that look like a good music video at all?! The only thing it's doing is saying "don't waste your time watching the whole thing when it comes out." How terrible.

THIS, on the other hand, is great! It's a tease/commercial/behind the scenes look at a video Kenny Chesney is doing with Corona for his upcoming tour. It's the second tour of his that is sponsored by the delicious beer.



I LOVE the final product! [At the end of the video!] He's a great entertainer. His tour is going to be amazing as usual. And this commercial is so simple, but gets the point across perfectly. Now I want to go to the concert.

So Speidi needs to take some notes, I guess.... Although, I don't think it will matter anyways. Heidi has no talent to live up to ANY hype.

love,
elizabethany

gotchya!: speidi's a smoker

Speidi LOVES the publicity, so the fact that this picture was posted on Spencer Pratt's Twitter [who annoyed the #&$!#@&!$# out of me last night] is no surprise. I'm sure a certain something was actually conveniently placed, rather than "forgotten about."

Can you see it? What's a little... Not PG rated, if you will, about this picture of Heidi's possible wedding updo?


Don't see it? How about now?


Yeah, that's a bong back there on the counter. To smoke the reefer. Woopsies, guys! I guess now we know who the REAL Spencer and Heidi are now, huh?! [I think people could have figured it out before now though, right?]

So, purposely or not, we saw it. You bad, bad kids.

love,
elizabethany

oh goodness

Heidi Montag is still going through with this music thing. It's all over her Twitter, and now she's releasing it all over the internet as her "BIG NEWS" of the day. I thought, and was hoping, it was an April Fool's joke, but apparently not.





Why did Perez say he LIKED it?! I think he's sucking up to her. There's no way anyone can genuinely like this as a REAL song.

Yikes. It reminds me of terrible, little girl, 90s pop from a bad, straight to DVD movie. Even IIII don't like that stuff!

love,
elizabethany

blonde hotties

I stumbled upon AIM's 100 Hottest Blondes today.... And I must say, I'm VERY unhappy with the list.

Some of the people they picked are okay, and I'm alright with their placements. Some, not so much.

First of all... The Olsen Twins. They have Ashley as #91 and Mary-Kate as #82. Tell me.. Do you think MK is hotter than Ashley?! I do not. They even put LiLo ahead of her. Not okay.

Also, Kristen Bell is number 99. She's flippin' gorgeous. That's way too low of a number. Brittany Snow is only 79. Pam Anderson is ahead of her, at 73, and they use this picture to state their case.... Hmmm...

Whitney Port (#58), Kristin Cavalieri (#90), and Heidi Montag (#26) all made it in there, but no sightings of star LC. Weird?

Amanda Bynes is only #51, with Aubrey O'Day being way ahead of all of the before-mentioned people at #42. WHAT! AND Brooke Hogan is ahead of ALL of them at 32, with PARIS at 28. Oh, and Kendra Wilkinson is 27, and Bridget is 24. Because she's definitely hotter than all of these people...........

Rat lookalike Taylor Swift made it above Kate Winslet (#21) to get the 17 spot. After her, I was okay with the selection. Reese Witherspoon, Blake Lively and Hayden Pannettiere followed. But then, HilDuff and Holly Madison made out with #11 and #10.. Interesting. Then it was okay again with Carrie Underwood and Christina Aguilera, Jessica Simpson and Heidi Klum.

The top 3 killed me though. Anna Faris, Victoria Silvstedt, and SCARLETT JOHANSSON!

Seriously... Are these girls REALLY the hottest blondes they could think of?! Whoever made this list must have been drinking and forgot to take off their drunk goggles. Clearly they saw something I'm not.

My girl Britney was only #36 [although, I'm glad she was at least included] and Ellen isn't even on the list!

I'm going to have to redo this how I think for this week or something. Maybe I'll do a section of brunettes and red-heads, too. Suggestions are welcome.

AIM... You just lost all credibility for doing top-whatever lists. Congratulations.

love,
elizabethany