i spy: the real chris cooley?

I said I was going to do a football post every Monday, and this week I'm choosing to bring back my I Spy posts with a story from Friday night.

I went out with Kane and other HOT 99.5'ers, along with Tipsy Tonya from the Vibe Show to Bunker Sports Cafe in Leesburg. [For the record: It's always a crazy good time when I go there with the station. People there are hilarious.]

It was going like any other night at Bunker: trashy dancing, crazy fans, and eating vanilla pudding and banana contests. [Yes, that is meant to be very dirty... But it's a real game we play!]

Then... As if the heavens were shining down from above... Erick tells me Chris Cooley is there. Tonya and I immediately went over to his empty table and calmly and casually introduced ourselves.


I've met the guy a couple times after games and we all know I read his blog pretty religiously. I always thought he was the coolest guy to grace the DC sports world...

...After Friday... I hate to say it.... But I'm worried that my opinion drastically changed. He was less than "COOOOOL."

I know he's under crazy pressure because the Redskins are just downright terrible this year for whatever reason, and that he totally deserves nights out on the town to get hammered... But his actions were so disheartening. He was basically a giant d-bag.

I thought he appreciated his fans more than anyone else who has actually made a name for themselves on that team, but he seemed purely annoyed when anyone approached him.
I thought he was funny, down-to-earth, and just a guy-next-door, but instead he totally told me to F off when I was talking to people he knew.
I thought he was so in love with his wife and would never even flirt with another girl [okay, maybe that's a bit far fetched], but he was wedding ring-less and buying drinks for some blondie all night.

Again... I can't stand the thought of saying this Chris COOOOOLEY that I met on Friday is the real one.. It's like finding out Santa isn't real... So I hope that I get to see him again soon. He did talk to us nicely a couple times for a second, so maybe he was just uber drunk.

I also hope that the next time I do see him, Tanner is with him. I still think we could be great friends... His posts make me laugh the hardest. Plus, I have a couple of really great questions that I've written down to ask the both of them if I ever get a chance to interview the brothers.

Sorry, Chris... I don't mean to call you a d-bag, and I appreciate the picture and couple of conversations... But my heart, along with Tonya's, was broken after Friday night. I hope it was your evil twin brother.

love,
elizabethany

watch: ways to get pumped about the redskins

When typing that title, I just thought of an idea: Doing a top 10 list of ways to get the Redskins back to being a team everyone loves to love.... Hmmm....

Anyway... I saw on Chris Cooley's blog yesterday [while trying out this super-sweet chatroom they just added! I talked to Tanner for like 5 seconds to test it out... He rocks.] this Redskins Rap video!

It's from Remy, the same dude that made the "Arlington Rap" which was hilarious. He's about to become a DC legend for music videos like these.



How perfect is that?! I love every second of it. I especially like from 2:15 on. It speaks only the truth about the Redskins and us fans. I shall quote it numerous times throughout the season.

This guy is freakin' good. He's funny and he's got some rapping talent. I enjoy him. I wonder if he could make one about the Real World DC?! It may be too late...


On another note... This video reminded me of a video my brother and his friends made about 2 years ago to "Crank That Redskin." It's not super fancy, but I think it's kinda funny. They made a dance up and everything, so watch and learn:



I wonder how he'll feel when he sees this posted on here.. Teeheehee.


So I hope these videos helped all of you Redskins fans laugh a bit. A lot of you are feeling uber down on the team, but let's not get pessimistic yet! The season isn't even halfway over, and even if it was- There's always next year.

[But uhh... We DO need to make some changes. *cough* New owner *cough* What?!]

love,
elizabethany

two of my fave things in one: redskins and monkeys

Oh this makes me so excited!

I wanted to do a Redskins/football post, and I found the perfect thing to share with you. Why is it perfect? Because it combines two of my most favorite things into one post.

One of our players recently got a pet MONKEY! On first thought you may assume Chris Cooley or Clinton Portis may get such a pet, but you're wrong!

LaRon Landry, the safety who used to run the show with Sean Taylor [RIP] and now rocks people on his own, apparently has a soft spot.

He got this white-faced capuchin to be his companion, until death do they part. His reasoning:

Just a thought over the offseason. I didn't want nothin' too big. He'll get up to fifteen pounds, live 35 to 50 years. When I die, he can die with me.

First of all- I'm hella jealous. I want one right now. Second- Landry... Can we get married right now?

His teammates all think he's crazy, of course. They also thought he was joking for a while. Kareem Moore, Jason Campbell, and Carlos Rogers are just some of the players thinking it was all a joke.

Our main man Cooley admitted it'd be cool for a week, but then not so much.

Landry apparently loves the little guy, though. His friends brought the monkey to him after practice and it went crazy "cheeping" for him. He also admitted that yes, he does have to change the diapers for at least a year.

I love it. I absolutely love it. Here's a guy who's a hard hitter and I thought of as a tough guy, with a baby monkey. He's not looking for a crazy amount of attention for it, he just wanted a companion.

Seriously though... LaRon... Umm.. If we can't work out a marriage... How about a play date? Or maybe you could hire me to be a babysitter? I'll even do it for free.
Consider it... Let me know. Thanks.

love,
elizabethany

[Redskins Blog]

football season is here and t-pain is doing a fight song?

Oh my goodness. Words can't express how PUMPED I am that football season is FINALLY BACK!!!!

REDSKINS vs. Ravens: Battle of the Beltways TONIGHT to kick off the pre-season!

The only downside is that I'll be at work on a Thursday night. LAME! Whoever I am waiting on tonight probably won't get very good service because I will be too entranced in the game. I apologize ahead of time.

Also- I will be sporting my Redskins jersey when Martin, my companion and I go out for our weekly taping of eTV's Finding the Real World DC Cast.

ANYWAYS. Have you heard the new Miami Dolphins fight song?! How about the T-Pain version of it?!



Why they enlisted T-Pain to record their fight song is beyond me.... Actually, no it's not. Even though Jay-Z declared DOA, T-Pain is still rockin' it, and it's popular. The Dolphins wanted attention, now they have it.

The lyrics are really pretty lame, though.

(Verse)
Miami has the Dolphins,
The greatest football team!
We take the ball from goal to goal,
Like no one's ever seen!
We're in the air,
We're on the ground,
We're always in control.
So when you say Miami,
You're talking Super Bowl!

(Chorus 1)
Cause we're the Miami Dolphins,
Miami Dolphins,
Miami Dolphins Number 1.

I mean c'mon Miami... Can't you come up with something a little better?! I know there's nothing like "Hail to the Redskins," but you can do better than "We're the Miami Dolphins."

I need to stop hating on the team, though. Pat White is a Dolphin now, and I'm rooting for him!


On another note, this video of players trying to get you to pick them for Fantasy Football is fantastic. I know it's old, but it gets me pumped!



Some people say it's fake... I don't think so! Call me naive, and maybe some of them are, but some are definitely not! My favorite of them all: Laurence Maroney. I had to watch it 3+ times!


Finally.. I just think this is funny. I've said before that I read Chris Cooley's blog as much as possible. He posted about "Z's finger" and how to handle a head coach, and I find it funny. Therefor, I'm posting it. Duh.

- Drop plates of food at Z's feet and run.
- Pee in pants, slowly watching a puddle accumulate on the floor. Maintain a half grin of warm pleasure.
- Collapse into a full epileptic seizure - avoid banging head too hard on the ground.
- Shrug shoulders, laugh loudly while telling Z what a good joke that was. Congratulate him again having such a great sense of humor, then give him a friendly back handed tap in the nut sack before making their way to my table.
- Slowly, but carefully fold money in hand while he is lecturing, then using the appropriate tipping method, slip in a 20, and tell him to give you the best table he can find.
- Pull pants down, wait for spanking.
- Kiss him on the lips, tell him he is a beautiful man and you think about him every night. Tell him what a lucky woman his wife is. Gently grab his biceps before walking away. Sigh softly.
- Tell him to hold on for a second, then answer pretend phone call, say hello loudly to president Obama. Hold up finger, asking for minute then casually stroll away.
- "Hey Jim. Woah, Big Gulps, huh? All right! Well, see ya later"

I'm LOLing right now. What a hilarious guy Cooley is. I heart him. I also want to interview him. [I tried a couple times to contact him, but no dice. His brother Tanner DID comment on my blog, though! Talk about a jumping up and down and screaming moment!]


Alright, the end for this football post. HAIL TO THE REDSKINS BABY!

love,
elizabethany

watch: the black olympics

Ugh, it bothers me that I have to do a post based on a player from the Dallas Cowboys, but it'll be split 50/50 with someone from the Seahawks. Also, it's not exactly a praising post.

Marty B [Martellus Bennett] is a TE for the Cowboys and his older brother is Michael Bennett, DE for the Seahawks.

As a part of "MartyBTV" they decided to host a friendly competition... The Black Olympics.

Controversial? You betchya. Just watch:



Hmmmm... Can I say what I want to? Because I'm going to...

Why in the H would they do this?! Actually, I know why. It's freakin' HILARIOUS. I definitely laughed.

But! Aren't people always complaining about having stereotypes or whatever?! This is what gives the stereotypes.

Actually... I think I may have just changed my mind while typing this. It's just funny. They're obviously playing with the stereotype... Right?! Fried chicken, Kool-Aid, and watermelon. It's almost as great as the best black names.

What do you think? Is it just funny, or is it a little too controversial or terrible or whatever?!

No poll, just sound off below.

I want to do a White Olympics now. What could we include, though? I think I'm bad at knowing stereotypes, to be honest. Would we eat burgers or see who can gain weight the fastest? Maybe who knows the most object-like dances like the lawnmower, shopping cart, and sprinkler?

Yeah, I don't know.

love,
elizabethany

PS: I just can't have a whole post about other teams, especially when Dallas is involved. Maybe Chris Cooley will be up to making a White Olympics. Maybe we can even do pottery like he did:



What a babe.

jason campbell is pro-bowl bound

Before I get this post started, can we just all let out a big HELL FREAKIN' YES because it's really almost football season?!? Oh my gracious I am just so piss-my-pants excited it's awesome.

Anyways, football season= elizabethany's football talk. [Mostly geared towards the Redskins/NFC East/Mountaineers/Big East, for all of you newcomers..]

Mr. Joe Theismann, one of the 'Skins' greatest, was quoted talking about Jason Campbell on Sirius Radio Wednesday night and it was all good things.

Not only did he mention the obvious fact that Campbell will finally have the opportunity to grow this year thanks to having the same offense for the second time in 8 or 9 years, but he made a bold statement: Jason Campbell is headed for the Pro Bowl.

"Last year, Jim Zorn rebuilt his throwing style. He's got great size, he's got a great arm, he's got a terrific work ethic. I think that this young man -- and he's in the last year of a contract, so there's super motivation there -- but I think he's going to have a football team around him that will be a much better football team than it was a year ago."

They also talked about how the Redskins are flying under the radar right now, and could definitely make it far this season.

I hate when people say that. We always seem to do the opposite of what people think beforehand, and what we do to start off the season. [They're saying we could go 4-0 to start off...]

All I'm sayin' is, I'd rather not have to drop the "There's always next year" this time after losing a playoff game.

love,
elizabethany

PS: Random sidenote. My brother received an autographed picture of Chris Cooley, and a bunch of bumper stickers etc. and a note saying "Congratulations on being a high school graduate and thanks for always being a loyal fan." Apparently you can send those things to people. I want one, man!

watch: chris cooley hates onstar

After all of the commercials you hear about OnStar always knowing exactly what's going on and helping you with the touch of a button, it's pretty funny to see it actually being used.

Chris Cooley has it, was trying to do something [Or maybe just trying to turn it off], and Miss OnStar was not understanding at all. He loses his cool for a second, to say the least.



OMG. I love it. Is that bad? It's just funny to see people getting mad at machines. And the fact that it's Mr. Nice Guy Chris Cooley, and he's about to laugh because of anger, makes it even better.

As always,

love,
elizabethany

cooley got carried

It's always awkward throwing up your hand for a high five and no one doing anything to satisfy your desire.

What do you do? High five yourself? Wave it in someone's face? Call out the awkward moment? There's just no right answer.

But imagine doing it in front of THOUSANDS.. No.. MILLIONS of people... That's what happened to Redskin Chris Cooley.

During the Pro Bowl, right after Fitzgerald scored a sweet touchdown [Imagine that, he won a jump ball battle...], Cooley was running straight for him for a celebration of any kind, and Fitz just ran RIGHT by him.. Leaving Cooley stunned.



Oh my goodness. I can't stop laughing. You can sense the awkwardness through the YouTube screen.

But, there's two good news's in the end. #1: Fitz got carried, too. He goes up for the chest bump, and no one is there to be his other half. #2: Chris was right by the locker room, so he was able to just walk right in for halftime.

He explains the WHOLE thing on his blog, which as always is hilarious, so make sure to read it. He'll have you rollin'!

Thank you Chris Cooley #47 for once again giving me, and all Redskins/football fans, something to be entertained with. :)

love,
elizabethany

so true

Whether you're a Skins fan or not, Chris Cooley's blog is a great one to read. He's not the only writer, and they put up funny videos quite a bit of not only the Redskins, but other players and teams as well.

One of the writers, "Fat White Guy", writes about college football and other nonsense. He's a Bills fan. But this week, he wrote a fabulous post about the Steelers/Mike Tomlin.

It's short, and you should check it out yourself, but I thought it was funny and would share it with you. He compares the Steelers to the Yankees, who NEVER stop talking about how many titles they have.. And he also points out that Tomlin has a twin.. Omar Epps.

He couldn't be more right on. But if you want to check out more, click here! :)

love,
elizabethany

what a funny guy

While I'm on the topic of football, and Pro Bowlers, I want to share with you something from the ever so fabulous Chris Cooley.. #47 of the Washington Redskins.

This guy's blog is absolutely hilarious, by the way.. And if you're a 'Skins fan, I hope you read it on the regular like I do. It gives a cool insight to the team that you don't normally get to see.

Anyways, he put up a video of him really focusing on football, and it makes me laugh out loud.

Basically, he stayed in uniform for the day.. Doing all of his daily activities.



I think the funniest part about it all is just imagining if I had been at that gas station, that bar, or was his wife when they sat down to snuggle at the end of the day. Oh my goodness. I would be geeking out the whole time.

And imagine taping him while he tried to eat that cereal!! How would you keep your composure?

I don't know but I do know this is funny. And clever. And witty. And sooo Chris Cooley.

I love you, man. :-P

love,
elizabethany

we want dallas

I'm sure most of you guys know, but for those of you who don't, I'm a huge Redskins fan. Ya, that's right, HAIL TO THE REDSKINS!!!

And you BETTER know that today is a HUGE game.. vs. DALLAS!!!

So, thanks to Cooley's blog, my brother, and my obsession with the most amazing football team ever invented, I came up with a couple things I want everyone to check out in the next hour in order to get pumped for the game...

Also, The KANE Show debuted this song last week.. a local rapper submitted it into them and they played it for all of us skins fans :) [hint hint: if you're a rapper, and a Redskins fan, or even if you want to pretend to be, make a song and send it to Kane. He'll play it live for you!!!]
Check it out--> It's good.

Sorry Cowgirls fans, but I feel as though your team is slightly overrated, and we're underrated. So here's to a good game.... and the skins coming out on top. Just like the last time. :)

love,
elizabethany

well hello

Hey everyone!
I'm elizabethany!

I've been reading all types of blogs lately, (Perez of course, the Redskins' Chris Cooley who is hilarious, fellow Woodbridgian Bdot, everyone at HOT 99.5, a bunch of other random ones, and watching Gossip Girl..) and decided that it's something I definitely want to do.

Before I get started I just thought that in case anyone random is reading this, I'd introduce myself. :)

basics
I'm from Northern VA and I go to WVU.
I'm 21 years old.

who i am
I'm a gymnast of 16 years. I don't compete anymore, but I still work out and coach.
I drag race Volkswagens at the Bug Out in Manassas, VA twice a year.
I love celebrities. That includes any type. Music, acting, sports, even people who don't have talent.
I take a lot of pictures.. there's no such thing as too many.
I'm outgoing, always smiling, out of control, loud, honest, outspoken, welcoming and ambitious.

who i will be
Someone you're gonna remember-->
Maybe a tv news reporter
Maybe a radio DJ
Hopefully and entertainment show host.

So hopefully I'll gain some readers eventually!
My apologies if you hate my opinions.. but as I said before, I'm honest AND outspoken, so they're gonna shine through. :)

love,
elizabethany.