boobies are flying everywhere during water polo!

Apparently we need to be watching more women's water polo, friends. According to Terez Owens, things are getting pretty entertaining.

First there was a huge nip slip, now one lady got her titty twisted big time.

Click here to see the pics!

Tweet

watch: insane barbershop beat down

What happens when the bossman at a barber shop goes out of town, and his employees use the place as their drug hub?

This.
[Be careful- language.]



Holy. Crap. Remind me to never sell drugs while the bosses are out, please. Woah.

love,
elizabethany

Tweet

watch: oven planking epic fail

Now that there's owling and toothpicking, among other things, I'm going to go ahead and say planking is on its way out... Especially since Richard Simmons did it.

Plus... It's just dangerous! Hilariously dangerous, though.



Idiot girl. That's a door.

love,
elizabethany

Tweet

watch: break dancers knockin' people out... including themselves

I've changed my ways of finding "bloggable content" since being on the radio. I gotta make sure I get everything posted the day it leaks or else I'm behind. Sometimes that sucks. A lot.

Tonight I've been surfing around like the good ol' days and found some gold in the break-dancing department of videos.

First up: I know you feel invincible when you're drunk but like, you probably shouldn't think you're the best break-dancer in the whole world. Nor should you be throwing your body around.



Congrats, homeboy. You officially KO'd yourself.

And then there's the boy trying to impress the ladies....



Hmmmm.. Call me crazy, but I don't see that being the way to get the girl. Just sayin'.

Next time you think about break-dancing in front of people.... rethink it. Then rethink it again, cuz I know the first rethink probably told you to just go for it.

love,
elizabethany

Tweet

watch: crazy indian pole gymnastics

Tweet[Disclaimer: The big bossman told me not to give him credit for showing me this video, so I shall say that it was our office scapegoat, Emo Sarah, who told me to check this craziness out.]

Have you ever heard of this Indian pole gymnastics stuff?! NO WONDER pole dancing is trying to get into the Olympics! This puts the National Pole Dancing Championships to SHAME!



Ummmm OW! WOAH! CRAZY!

How in the world does a man flip and land on/catch a pole with his CROTCH?! Yowza.

This is freakin' crazy though. I expected to see some cool pole dancing, and went on to tell Sarah that I wanted to take pole dancing classes and that I thought Candy95 logos all over the videos would be a great idea.... Now I'm even MORE determined to make myself a professional pole dancer/gymnast.

Props to these Indian gymnast boys.... and whoever they marry... Cuz they ain't gonna be havin' babies.

love,
elizabethany

watch: bison attack

This is absolutely the most frightening video you will see all week, maybe even all month. [Excluding the Saw 3D trailer, of course]

It will also teach you a valuable life lesson: Don't play with bison.



"They told me to stay 100 feet away, but we were about 30 feet..."

....... I don't even feel bad for this dumb lady. Idiot, idiot lady.

love,
elizabethany

Related articles around the net

• Utah woman injured by bison in Yellowstone (msnbc.msn.com)

watch eTV: i finally got my jumping stilts

I've literally been waiting for YEARS to get these stupid jumping stilts. [Obviously by stupid I mean the best thing ever created in life.] Ever since I saw them on some Diddy VMA performance, I've had them on my Christmas list.

Finally they arrived at my home last week.

Just to give you an understanding on how freaking ridiculously amazing these things are, look:

Yeah. I know. You want some now, too.

They say I should be able to be running and jumping and whatever else I may think of within 5 days/tries/practices whatever. So that's what I shall do. I'll be flipping around Woodbridge in no time.

Of course I've got to bring the Flip with me each time. Sooo, let's get to it.

Last Wednesday they came at 9AM, and I wasted NO time giving them a whirl. [Though now looking back I think I should have waited at least a few hours until someone got home....]

.....Yikes. Yeah. First time= not so easy.

Second time coming soon, for sure! These things are way too epic to stay off of for long or get me discouraged. I learned that a little help from the ceiling is always welcome... and sometimes very necessary.

BTW- If anyone in the area has some, let's set up a play date! I want jumping friends!

love,
elizabethany

life lessons 032410

Spring brings out the crazy in everyone, but I'd rather not see everyone act like complete fools all the time.

Okay... That's a lie. I'd actually enjoy that quite a bit.

Still... I'll try and save you from it a little with these life lessons, thanks to others' misfortune.



1. If you're too cheap to buy a home-gym, don't assume your friend will do the trick.



Friend FAIL. At least they'll be sore for a couple days, right?!


2. If you're going to blow something up, use your noggin.



Hey... Uh... Dude... You know when you blow things up they normally explode right?! Like... outwards...


3. As a professional cheerleader/dancer, make sure to practice what to do when there's a woopsies.



At least she got back up, right?! Another friend fail, though?


4. Be afraid. Be very afraid of revolving doors.



Did you jump out of your seat like me?!


Moral of today overall is trust no one, including yourself.

love,
elizabethany

life lessons 021710

It's been a while since I've taught you all a little somethin' somethin'. I apologize. You've probably been learning things the hard way and that's never fun.

So here we go! Let's learn a few things thanks to others' misfortunes.


1. Just because you're a cheerleader and not in some ridiculous costume, doesn't mean you're safe. The mascot may be out to get you.



That's almost like a magic trick!


2. Never forget that you're not Tarzan, and you can't swing from tree to tree.



Bonus lesson: No matter how much snow is on the ground to break your fall, it's never enough to protect you from embarrassment and all pain.


3. Chinese Fire Drill: Totally fun game for the road. Car surfing: Not so much.



If you do try this, make sure to wear a helmet. On second thought, if you're dumb enough to try it, there's probably nothing there worth protecting.


4. Just because a door isn't opening automatically, doesn't mean you should give up on it and take matters into your own hands.



Ouch. Patience is a virtue. Walking forward a little more, slowly, might also be a good idea.


That's all for today! Class dismissed!

love,
elizabethany

life lessons 011210

It's been an awfully long time since I've helped you learn a thing or two about life on this here website. Too long, indeed.

So, without further ado, break out your notebooks... It's time to take some notes.

Today's topic: Wintery weather.


1. If a news camera is around, watch your step. Don't let the ice win this battle, no matter what.



On second thought, just don't put your arms back. Broken arms are no fun.


2. A back-flip is never finished until you stick your landing.



Also: Remember to stay away from ice when trying such skills.


3. While it's great to do your news stand-up in the middle of all the action, you should probably move to the side at least a little bit.



If you disagree, make sure to have a quick-recovery plan and thing to say.


4. Even if you're not a news reporter, staying out of the way is your best bet.



Only exceptions here: If you have a camera recording everything and you know how to use slow-mo while editing video.


5. You've never really gone sledding until you've gone with these guys.



Note: Make sure to bring lots of Tylenol and pads, and turn your body into rubber. 911 on speed-dial may be smart, as well.


So, for all of you out in the snow this winter, I hope you remember what I have taught you. This way, you don't have to learn the hard way.

love,
elizabethany

watch: lady gaga falls... twice.

This happened a couple days ago, but somehow I'm just stumbling upon it. For whatever reason, I haven't seen too much talk about it, so it's absolutely necessary to share.

I shared pictures from Lady Gaga's Monster Ball, which were totally scary to me, but now I shall share a video. A video that will make you laugh.



No more making fun of BritBrit for yelling the wrong city name or not dancing to her fullest potential. Not only does Gaga look completely wasted, she's not dancing well at all, and she falls... hard... TWICE.

Aye yi yi... This girl is headed for a trainwreck... And it's not going to be pretty.

I hope you wear padded buttocks, Lady.

love,
elizabethany

watch: pole dancing and wedding fail

Sometimes a wedding needs a little spice to add some flavor. The bride in the wedding I was in double-dog-dared me to trip down the aisle, so of course, I did... And almost fell on my face. Next thing I know we're all crying from laughing so hard.

That being said... When you're pole dancing is causing a scene and the bride is giving you some serious death stares, you may want to stop what you're doing before a disaster happens.



I can't tell you how glad I am this entire thing was on tape. It was as if we were watching an entire building collapse as people tried to get out. [Hmmm.. Maybe I shouldn't say that?!]

The fact that the bride came out with a bloody nose is like the ending to a great movie. It couldn't have turned out better. [Unless, of course, she got a black eye to match thanks to fighting the girl in the red dress.]

I don't see these ladies being friends any time soon. Mrs. Bride doesn't seem to have the best sense of humor on the block.

love,
elizabethany

watch: women's college soccer is brutal

Mikey P posted a video yesterday about the crazy brawls that happen in a dogpile, and now I have a crazy video of female college soccer players.

I'll be honest... I don't know much about soccer. I don't watch it. This video has be wantin' to check out all the brutality, though!

I didn't know they got so violent, but apparently soccer players love to pull hair and bitch-slap just like the hoes in the high school cafeteria.



Forget the name calling and causing a scene... They're doin' it big, and trying to hide it. That is, until, someone ends up on the ground with their "weave" still in tact.

I don't know who to root for! The underdog girl who's on the ground, or the girl who's a beast of some sort and did that to her!

Way to get people to pay attention to girls' soccer, ladies.

love,
elizabethany

watch: football players gouge out eyes now

Alright, I’ve heard of a few things happening under the pile in a football game. Ya normally just get a few dirty words and maybe a pinch or a scratch.

But not the Florida Gators All-American Brandon Spikes. Nope. He took it to a whole other level Saturday as he tried gouging the eyes of Washaun Ealey during the Gators’ rout to victory Saturday.

Take a look for yourselves.

To watch the video and read more from Mikey P, click here!!

watch: move lady, i'm runnin' here!

Another fabulous suggestion from my #1 fan, this video is good.

You'd think if you were a track runner, you'd know when it's a good or bad time to cross the track. Apparently not.



I seriously thought this was fake until they collided. Like... WHAT?! There's a guy coming at full speed toward you, and you have NO idea?! How dumb can you be?!

You're about to run right into someone, and you don't see them at all?!

This is crazy. The fact that it's slow-mo makes it even crazier. But, as we all know, crazy= fantastic.

Please look before crossing the track, my dears. I don't want anyone getting hurt.

love,
elizabethany

life lessons 101509

Ohh it's been too long since I've done a life lessons post!

I have a theme for today's class: Hotties. Or... those who think they are, anyway.


1. Just because your friend says it's an easy trick to do in the talent show, doesn't mean you should try it on concrete.




2. Dancing on the counter while filming a reality show probably won't get everyone's attention...



...but falling off of it will!


3. Don't celebrate too hard when you get a strike in bowling.



Duh.


4. When skateboarding, it's always best to wear the proper shoes. Flip flops= Not your best bet.




5. THINKING about flipping into a pool is almost as dangerous as giving the idea a try.




6. This is the best one... Do not think you are the sexiest thing at the pool and strut your stuff. There's a reason you're not on the runway.




There's nothin' better than seein' babes fall on their face, I guess! Hopefully they learned their lesson!

love,
elizabethany

nifty website: fat kids falling

Call me a wrong person, call me mean, terrible, whatever you want... You're going to look at this website and laugh... Possibly for hours.

It's called Fat Kids Falling and that's exactly what it is. Videos and pictures of fat people falling on their ass, face, stomach, whatever.

Here is just a quick preview:

It's a new site, but it's going to bring good things, I know it. Bahaha.

love,
elizabethany

monday morning football

I think I want to start doing football posts every Monday morning. Not necessarily a reflection on the weekend's games [mostly because as of right now, I don't have much good to reflect on over here...] but just random stories about football. Keep an eye out for these suckers.

Today's topic: Owen Schmitt, starting Fullback, Seattle Seahawks.

I like him for a couple reasons: He's from NoVA, he crushes face masks, he sports a mohawk, and oh yeah... HE'S A MOUNTAINEER!!

I also like him because he does crazy things like what he did yesterday to get his team pumped up.



What man in their right mind would bloody himself like that before having to play football?! Well, Owen would. He said it didn't even hurt. He's a freakin' monster.

It worked, though!

"That was, man, gruesome but beautiful at the same time. I don't know if that's possible. But that got us going. Myself, D.D. Lewis, we were sitting there saying, 'That's a mad man right there. That's a guy you want on your side.' A man willing to bloody his own face, you know how much he's willing to put on the line."
-Seahawks Lineback Lofa Tatupu

We could totally use someone like him in Washington. I'm sure he wouldn't mind coming back this way. He could get the team pumped up, do ridiculous things, but never get a bad rep. Class act.

love,
elizabethany

watch: shark chomps on a penis

I don't even know how to intro this video. All I'm going to say is you should look close and see if you can tell what the shark is chomping on.



Uhhh... Yeahhh... That definitely looks like it is someone or something's junk in this shark's mouth.

Guys- are you cringing in pain?

It could be an intestine or something completely unrelated to a body, but it definitely looks crazy. You be the judge. I don't know how to get in touch with the Shark Week pros.

love,
elizabethany

great timing with photography

I love, love, LOVE this collection of pictures.

There are two of these collections actually, but it's on the same site. They're pictures that were taken at the absolute perfect times. Ya know, the ones that make you go "OMG!" or "HAHAHAHA" or "Wowwwww...."

Seriously... You'll be saying all of the above out loud. Just look at some:

Because I'm a picture freak, I thought of a couple that I or someone captured the exact right moment as well:

I love photography. I love pictures. I love Kodak moments.

Do you have any to contribute?! Send em my way! Links, emails, whatever. If you want them posted- I will certainly have them up!

love,
elizabethany