what ya should wear wednesdays- inappropriate christmas sweaters

It's ugly Christmas sweater season! Hopefully these things are still being found in the thrift shops, but I've also seen mall kiosks for them and racks inside Walmart etc. ARE THEY GONNA BECOME UNCOOL?!

Nah, chill. They're always great... especially when a website is taking them to a new level. They're taking them from G to R-rated! 

At first look, Grandma will be all "that's a nice sweater, hun!" But your friends will look closer... and realize just how "niiiiiice" it is.

Santa peeing on a roof... reindeer humping... BLACK SANTA IS REAL! and there are more.

Yeah... these are incredible. A bit out of my $3 price range, but possibly worth it. 

BONUS... they have fanny packs... for anyone who feels like getting me something for Christmas. 

love,

elizabethany

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nifty: the dildo maker

I can't control my laughter over this product! This is by far the most ridiculous and hilarious thing I've seen in a while, and if I could figure out how to legitimately buy it, I'd stock up for every Birthday, Christmas, etc I have coming up for my friends.

The Dildo Maker, my friends, is something that can turn any household item into your new favorite toy.

If that's not the most outrageous but genius thing I've ever seen, I'm not sure what is.

It seems like it might just be something for the guy who created it, which is a damn shame. They could be making some serious buck off gag gifts [no pun intended].

love,
elizabethany

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boobies are flying everywhere during water polo!

Apparently we need to be watching more women's water polo, friends. According to Terez Owens, things are getting pretty entertaining.

First there was a huge nip slip, now one lady got her titty twisted big time.

Click here to see the pics!

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pics: the time i took my mom to a drag show

My mom came to visit for the first time this past weekend so that we could join the BFF and her mom at the Darius Rucker/Lady Antebellum concert. BUT... things took a detour when I told the BFF's mom about a drag brunch that happens here [at Croc's on 19th St.] every Sunday.

They really had no idea what they were getting themselves into [I've been a couple times with work].. but who would really know what to expect on a nice Sunday brunch with a bunch of drag queens?! No one.

I told them to grab some ones and we went to see those fabulous ladies.

Considering the fact my mom doesn't even allow such words as suck, piss, or retard in our house, things got real awkward real quick. She got pretty into it after a little while, though! As you can see, the boobies threw her off a little bit, but I'll be honest- even I was fascinated with how real they looked [and felt].

I will say that I didn't dare look anywhere near the moms when one queen started singing "I don't care how you f#@* me, just f#@* me where you can." It's one of the funniest songs ever, I was geeking out, but I did not want to see their reactions.

[FYI: She said she wanted these pictures for herself and to show my dad, so I can only assume she meant she wanted them available for the world, right?! I mean let's be honest... my parents should know who their daughter is at this point. If they don't, HELLOOOO WAKE UP CALL.]

Don't worry, we did some normal things too. The concert was AWESOME [Thompson Square is freakin adorable and I think I have developed a SERIOUS crush on Charles Kelley of Lady A. He was real cool.], and we had some quality beach time yesterday.

If you ever do plan on taking your mom to a drag show, prepare yourself. Or maybe prepare them. And don't get a table in the very middle of the show... that could be even more awkward. 

love,

elizabethany

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nip slip alert! 90210's annalynne mccord tweets one out

All the boys are all "OMG UPDATE YOUR XXX PAGE!" these days, so, you're welcome, fellas.

90210 hottie AnnaLynne McCord accidentally Twitpic'd a pic of her nippy, but luckily people caught it before she deleted.
Once on the Internet, always on the Internet.

Click here for the uncensored version!

My thoughts: Why is she TWITPIC'ING pictures of herself like that? Is she trying to sext the whole world? I mean, maybe that's how I can get some more followers and attention but like, I'll keep my shirt on in social media pics, thanks.

Silly girl...

....She is hott, though!

love,
elizabethany


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nifty: the karmasheetra (do it yourself!)

After trying to play Twister with adults at the 90s Dance Party on the Patio in Texas, I realized it's definitely a kid's game, and we need something a little more involved if we really want it to be challenging.

Helloooo Karmasheetra. Thanks for answering my requests.

Combine the Kama Sutra with Twister and a bed, and BAM. You've got yourself a fun game to play with someone special [or someone that will do for the night].


Basically, you pick a number on the sheet, and arrange your body parts on the guide. They outlined feet, hands, butts, and knees for you!
You don't have to look at pictures and figure out how positions are working, you just place, work it, and don't fall down!

Even more fun: Mixing up the numbers. I think it'd be fabulous to place your limbs on a variety of numbers [maybe use a set of dice?] and somehow make it work. Adult Twister, I've been looking for you.

The only problem: They're out of stock right now! Who knows if they're really making more like they say, but pssstttt. It's totally easy to make, and probably even more fun! NAKED BODY PAINTING! Check out the picture, grab some paint, a white sheet, and your honey, and put your real prints on there! [I estimate it costing about $20 with a Queen sized bed.]

Crafty sex? I enjoy.

love,
elizabethany

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if doctor seuss taught sex..

This is about to become your favorite bedtime book.

Simon Greiner used his imagination inspired by Dr. Seuss to show you what it'd be like if the silly author would have matured his books with his audience. AKA it gets a little PG 13, or maybe X-rated.

Click here to read more of it!

SO good. If only we could have read THESE books during Sex Ed classes. I also enjoy the extra vocabulary.

love,
elizabethany

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watch: couple has sex while driving

Well, damn... Just when I thought a BJ while driving was pretty inappropriate if people could see you, these people take it way further.

I guess it brings up the question: Why NOT bang while driving down a major highway?

[Don't worry. It's totally suitable for work... just don't have the volume up.]



Oh, right... CUZ IT'S DANGEROUS! AND GROSS!

...but it sure does make other people's drive pretty entertaining.

love,
elizabethany

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the new amarillo sox mascot is inappropriate

Ohh, this is a pretty big fail.
...Or win, depending on how you look at it.

The Amarillo Sox are a minor league baseball team in Texas, and they decided to reveal their new mascot they've been so excited about:


Oof. That's... Not a sock. It's up to your imagination to decide what you want to say it is, but it is certainly not an appropriate mascot... Unless, of course, it was for the Dirty Sock here in College Station.

I applaud them for going through with it for at least one game. They've decided to get it "fixed" before using him again, though. I wonder what they mean by "fix"......

love,
elizabethany

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nip slip alert: jennifer lopez!

Uh oh! The Most Beautiful Woman in the World is showing her beautiful tata's to the world!

She was on a German TV show and apparently wasn't paying attention when this happened:


Click the pic to see it up close and personal!

love,
elizabethany

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blake lively's got 20+ leaked naked pics!

I LOVE Blake Lively. She's freakin' gorgeous. I'll be honest- of all celebs, I would not expect her to have naked pics leaked, but I would totally expect her to be kinky behind closed doors.

Sucks for her, because even though her reps are denying it, she's got a TON of naked pictures being leaked.


Obviously NSFW or little kids, click here to venture to the XXX page!


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more advertising to make america look lame

A billboard company in the Netherlands had an open billboard that they wanted to be taken immediately. So what'd they do? They decided to have a male stripper do the dirty work for them.


Okay, he's probably not a professional stripper, but each day they changed it and he had less and less clothing.

I don't know what the outcome was, but I betchya it scared someone! It definitely caught their attention!

Because I do actually wanna see such a thing, I will say this again- American advertisers, step yo' game up!

love,
elizabethany

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lady gaga's penis shoes

It's no secret I'm pretty anti-Gaga, but every once in a while she does something I can get behind.

Last week when she was on Idol, I heard she had "female tools" on her shoes, and now that I've seen them, she just won some much needed plus points.


I wonder what my mom [and/or my boss] would say if I scored me a pair just like this?! Hmmm...

love,
elizabethany

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watch: guy goes absolutely nuts and naked on subway

This guy is freaking INSANE!

I'm hoping he's drunk, but I'm assuming it's a little more than that. He goes crazy on the Subway for whatever reason, rips off his clothes, screams at a cop, and then starts robbing innocent people.

PLEASE BE AWARE: He is naked. You can see everything! But because I'm giving you fair warning, and you're not forced to watch, I'm not putting it on the xxx page!



I love how the guy filming was not afraid to get all up in his business, and the cops don't even say anything. I bet they were excited to watch this on YouTube before bed.

Crazy people, I tell ya, they keep this Internet thing interesting on an otherwise boring day.

love,
elizabethany

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watch: kane show watches their listeners' sex tapes

The Kane Show is based out of Washington, DC, but is syndicated all over the nation, and I get to say they're the reason I'm in radio. [I interned with them 3 years ago, and they've helped me rocket since then.]

If you don't know about them, first of all- Give them a listen on the iheartradio app, or on their website. Second- Die of laughter when watching this video.

This is hysterical. They had their listeners send in some sex tapes, and they video'd themselves watching them. Getting distracted and disgusted, but watching them... [Don't worry.. it's totally SFW. You won't see the bad stuff!]



Yes, that's real life. People really did send in their tapes, and now I just wish people would send me theirs! Shoot... I wish someone would even send me their version of a sext so I could judge it.

If you want to grow some you-know-what and try me, you know where to send em.

Kane, Erick, Sarah et al- You guys rock my life. This. Is. Awesome.

love,
elizabethany

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the best disney pick-up lines on twitter

I got this Storify app thing and have been waiting for a chance to use it to showcase a group of tweets, and now I got it!

A trending topic right now is #disneypickuplines and it's pretty freakin' hysterical. Disney + semi-X-rated = gold.

Here are just some of the ones I found that I thought were clever:



I can't even come up with any of my own, but if you have any, let me know! I could read them all day!

love,
elizabethany

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the latest x-rated giveaway: the where's dildo poster

Oh this is quite possibly one of the best, most awkward, detailed, can't-stop-looking poster I've ever seen... And I get to give two of them away!

It's called "Where's Dildo?," and as you can imagine, you're going to need to holler at the XXX page to find out more!

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sammi sweetheart is leaving nothing for the imagination

WOAH. Wow. That's a vagina floating around the Internet today. A famous reality star's vajay.

When you hear someone has some "naked pics" leaked, you assume it's the usual mirror shot, some nips, maybe some lower goodies.

This time it's MUCH MORE. Sammi is saddled up and ready to go, turning to face the camera, and smiling for a picture.


WHAT IN THE WORLD?! Is she the biggest idiot EVER?! She has to be. Her name might as well change to "the dumbest bitch you'll ever meet."

It's way too much for me to be posting even on my XXX page, I think. So for the uncensored version, hollaholla over at this site.

love,
elizabethany

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check out chris brown's goodies

I went away for a weekend and Chris Brown decides to send a pic of his johnson to someone who was smart enough to leak it to the Internet. Either I need to go away more often, or I always need one eye open to the Internet, no matter what.

Click here if you wanna see the goods.

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watch: when sex meets foursquare

Tweet It's an X-rated day, apparently.

If you use Foursquare, this will make you ROFLOL. If you know about Foursquare, it'll make you LOL. If you know nothing... Well, you could watch, but you might get confused.

Just imagine if you could check in to places while having sex...



Oh, thank you College Humor. I guarantee this is only a couple months away from real life.

love,
elizabethany