listen to the show: people spill others' life-ending secrets

A couple weeks ago I decided to see if I could get people to share their friends' secrets, since they've been a little more apprehensive with sharing their own lately... Turns out, anyone's down to rat out their friends if there are no names involved.

I figured I'd get some calls on cheating, or "normal" things like that... I didn't know, nor could I have ever even imagined that I'd get some of the ones I did.


...What... the... #&$%. I'm still in shock over that one phone call. Imagine if any of these people were listening to their secrets being shared...

Actually, don't imagine that... because I'm gonna want to do this again, and I don't want anyone afraid to share such things!

I love my listeners/callers/life sometimes.... especially when they shock me.

love,
elizabethany

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watch: vine champion knows how to make people uncomfortable

By now you should know how much I love messing with people, making them feel uncomfortable, etc... and I especially like watching other people do it, even if I get jealous that they're getting all the attention.

Jérôme Jarre deserves every bit of attention for his Vine. In 6 seconds he can make anyone squirm and it's a beautiful thing.

 "Really?"

 

Pretty sure this is a must-try.

 And definitely doing this the next time someone tries to give me something.

He's got to have the biggest balls in the world... like bigger than the 142 pounder. Or he just likes to have fun... and combine all that with his voice... I just wanna know if he'll marry me.

love,
elizabethany

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watch: what it's like reading buzzfeed's 90s posts

Buzzfeed's posts about 90s nostalgia are pretty on point most of the time... but this video that College Humor did is so right.

Reading them is like interrogation. It's like shoving a nostalgia mind eff in our face... and I can only imagine that this is what it's like for the employees.



YOU WILL LIKE THE 90s OR YOU WILL NEVER COME BACK TO THIS HERE WEBSITE. EVER.

I'm sorry. If you don't love the 90s, you can still come back... we just can't be friends.

love,
elizabethany

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watch: lonely island's latest is "go kindergarten"

Don't you worry about SNL not being in season... The Lonely Island don't need no SNL! All they need is a Diddy cameo and Robyn to sing a hook about doing everything they say.

AKA "Indiana Jones and whip your dick out."



LOL WTF! Can I just please be in the room when they're brainstorming on lyrics for these songs?!

I really have no other words for it than that wish.

love,
elizabethany

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life lesson: don't get drunk and climb a bridge

Hey y'all.... I'm not trying to say you're dumb or anything.... but there's no telling what you're going to do when you're 5 Red Seas in....

All I'm sayin' is- stay away from bridges! Don't walk over them, probably shouldn't walk under them, and for the love of sweet baby Jesus don't CLIMB UP THEM AND FALL ASLEEP!

One dude literally climbed 23 feet up this bridge after "missing the pedestrian walk" and passed the eff out.


"Hey man, what'd you do today?"
"Oh not much.... I don't think.... I don't know... I woke up to some firefighter dudes pulling me off the top of a bridge."

love,
elizabethany

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watch: couple pranks people by making out on them

Welp, here's another one of a kind prank that is fantastic.

You want a REAL, big reaction from someone? Invade their personal space. Wanna make it even crazier? Make it sexual, obviously.

This couple decided to make-out throughout the mall and Walmart, while literally touching strangers.


Goodness, black women have the absolute best reactions to anything ever of all time. Seriously, I love them.

I also love it when they bring out the sex doll. Can you IMAGINE seeing all of this go down?! I have tears.

And props to the dude who gave props. Now that's a guy who knows how to live life.

That couple has some serious balls. They deserve to be cupped. Frequently.

love,
elizabethany

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watch: baboons invade a house through a window

Y'all. This is like.... watching my Heaven exist on Earth.... but in a land not near mine. It's tear-jerking, but I love it.

An entire army of baboons broke into this guy's neighbor's house, and he filmed the whole thing. Literal sh!t is flying everywhere, but it's the most beautiful thing....

[Make sure you make it to 2:15ish at least, where they start yelling at one to get out through the door, as if it understands English.]


Seriously. I don't care about the damage done. I don't care if they start barking at me or whatever they're doing... I want baboons to live near me, and I want to leave my window open. I'll keep Slutty and Nugget safe, but they're welcome to anything else in here, as long as I get to play too.

Goodness, that's awesome. I need to move to a country with cooler animals.

love,
elizabethany

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i spy: questionable raunchiness at my club night

Hopefully by now you know that I host at Bayside on Shore Dr in Virginia Beach every Tuesday night. I like to make things get a little crazy, normally offer up some lap dances for some birthday people, and see where the night takes us.

The other week, we had some strippers join us [in every day clothes, so I really had no idea until I got completely shown up during the lap dances], and suddenly the whole bar got a lot more raunchy.

This happened.

No, that's not someone getting tackled to the ground and beaten with our logo conveniently in the fore-front of the picture... that was some kind of dance move these people were all doing.

And yes, someone did forget that leggings aren't pants.

My favorite part: Dude in the green shirt thinks the chic IN THE BACK is crazy, not the orgy that's happening on the floor.

I'm not saying this happens every week, because thankfully, it doesn't. What I am saying is that each week brings something special to the table floor, and you should probably come out and experience it.

Every Tuesday, Bayside Bar and Grill on Shore Dr. I'm there starting at 11pm. Mention this post, and I'll get your first drink!

love,
elizabethany

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i spy: people in the club that need better friends

REAL friends don't let their friends leave the house looking like a fool... which is why these people I saw in the bars and clubs last week need to re-evaluate the people they hang out with.

Pull your mother effing pants up, bro. You're WEARING A BELT, that holds up up under your butt?! Excuse me if I sound all grandma-like, but no girl in her right mind is going to find this hott.

Maybe this guy just needs to consult his kids before he goes out. Not only is he at a place full of 21 year old girls, but he's wearing a COSBY SWEATER. Ugly sweater season ended a month ago. It's time to move on.

I don't even know what to say about this man. I couldn't stop staring. I still can't stop staring. That 'stache. The sneaks you can't see in this pic. The hair. It's... real.

This picture doesn't do this act justice, but homeboy was not just chair-dancing.... he was chair-banging. It was a full on NC-17 chair porno in the middle of the dance floor.

As for this guy, I am naturally drawn to the light-up shirts [in a good way], which are probably more d-baggy than I'm willing to admit. You tell me if this should be allowed or not.

I've been working on making some gifs for some of these people's dance moves, along with a lot more, and let me tell you.... They might give my dad a run for his money. It's been a long time since I've done I Spy posts, but I need to bring it back. People watching is much too fun not to share.

love,
elizabethany

PS: If you ever see any crazy people out and about, you know I expect you to let a girl know?! [FYI: "a girl" is me...]

PPS: I really shouldn't be allowed to judge these people, considering I was seen doing this in the bar the other night.....

It's my [drunken] Kim Kardashian impression......... Don't ask questions.

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watch: invisible ghost driver in the drive thru [prank!]

Oh. My. GOD. I saw this "costume" on Pinterest, but now seeing it in action with this prank video, it's the best prank I've seen in a year. [And I don't mean the "it's only been 9 days in 2013 kinda year]

Watch people FREAK THEIR FREAK when a car pulls up with "no one" in it.


I'm crying. Tears. Coming out of my eyeballs. That is so good.

"AM I TRIPPIN'?!"
And the dude who keeps closing and opening the window as if he's playing peek-a-boo with a baby! Oh my goodness.

I'll be back, I wanna watch that again.

love,
elizabethany

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10 amazing gingerbread houses for gingerbread house day!

Maybe it's because it's been damn near two decades since I built a gingerbread house, or maybe I'm just straight up awful at making them, but my creations never looked anything like these.

In celebration of a fantastic holiday [and mostly because I can't make my own tonight], just drool over these.

The icicles and the roof!!

This whole thing.. I don't know how they did it... I WANNA KNOW!

All this needs is !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pretzels for a log cabin?! Taking notes......

This better be staying out all year for the amount of time that obviously went in.

Gingerbread BASEBALL FIELD?! You're a genius, person.

This one mostly looks delicious.

What do you think they planned before heading to the store to get all of these materials?!

Can I go there on vacation?! [Okay, that's corny.]

A beautiful, cute little church! Perfect. 

I take back what I said before. I don't even wanna make one tonight. These are intimidating and will make me hate myself for creating one that's not as good.

love,
elizabethany

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on the racks: rihanna is breathtaking in gq

...and when I say breathtaking, I don't mean cuz she's just beautiful.... but the poses and pictures she took... DAY. YUM. GURL. As Russell Brand said on Ellen "I'm heterosexual as it transpires, but sometimes you gotta wonder 'why not?!'"

I'm not even gonna bother with words right now. Check out the article here if you want words. I'm just going to let you have a moment with these.

Werk it, girl. And stay Unapologetic.

love,
elizabethany

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listen: "i think i s#!* your bed"

This could be the best story I've heard on my show ever. If not that, it's definitely the best this year.

A dude called to tell me about his sexual adventures, that came to an abrupt stop when the girl said she pooped in his bed. POOPED. IN HIS BED! You need to listen.



I'm just speechless about that. How in the world does someone think they pooped the bed, then feel comfortable patting around for it, and then think everything is fine and so not awkward the next day? He said she's been texting asking why he's avoiding her. Uhhhh.....

Some people were saying it's completely normal on Twitter, but I'm still thinking this is so bizarre and easily the funniest sex story of my entire life.

love,
elizabethany

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10 most embarrassing nightclub photos

I love it when people share quality things with me that they know I'll love! [Especially if they're not doing it to promote themselves, and because it's actually something I've talked about loving before.]

One thing we all know I love: Spying crazy people in public, specifically in bars/clubs. 

My friend Mojo put a link on my Facebook for a new page "Embarrassing Nightclub Photos," and it is GOLD. Here are some of my faves, that aren't gross enough to make you barf: 

That is one seriously large, orange head... and a fantastic photobomb.

I can only imagine what they're thinking; "This is so hott. We know what's happening, but with the help of the dress and purse, no one else does. And certainly no one is photobombing a pic of us right now."

Man, woman or horse... that is the question.

I thought I had ridiculous poses... Glad Miss Blue Skirt is clearly not impressed.

That is in fact a guy lifting up your dress... Miss Smirnoff.

If this girl's outfit isn't enough to make you wanna take a picture, just imagine the lapdance-ee's thoughts the next day.

This is one sexy ass couple. *Ass Ass Ass Ass.* 

Contrary to what you may think, lady, squeezing a cage-bar with your cheeks is not a good look.

One word: Yummy. Pictures everywhere!

This outfit totally rivals the neon mesh outfits of College Station.... I don't even know who wins.

There is a serious amount of showing tampon strings, awkward sweat-spots, pukes, and pees... but I thought I'd let you find those on your own. There's also a whole website for it.

If you ever wanna share something with me, always feel free to tweet it or post it on the Facebook group!

love,
elizabethany

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watch: hundreds of people swoon over fake celebrity in nyc

A couple months ago, a dude from Virginia Beach pretended to be famous in a local mall and a ton of people fell for it. I thought that was amazing...

Then this dude did the same thing in NYC, and HUNDREDS of people fell for it.


He did everything right, that's for sure. Showin' the check, shades at night, ridiculously ugly but gigantic security guards...

And via Gawker:

While the assistants and photographers waited for Brett to exit the 49th street marquee at NBC Studios, they started a buzz that a "big star" was about to walk out, thus making it worth their while to wait and get a picture. Many asked the crew who Brett was, and no answer was given. They were forced to either make something up, or just take a picture with him in hopes that their Facebook friends or Twitter followers might have a better idea.
As the crew walked over to Times Square, the crowds around Brett grew on each consecutive block. Very few people even questioned who he was, where he was from, or what he does. Brett took pictures with nearly 300 people before the stunt ended.

Yep. This is another one of those "I'm so jealous of this person on YouTube" moments for me.

love,
elizabethany

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coco's thong gets lost in her ass shot

I've been getting a lot of complaints [obviously from the boys] about my lack of XXX posts lately. I'M SORRY! It has been a year, and I will try harder to please you smuts.

This isn't totally XXX rated, but it is slutty and outrageous. It's Coco's ass in a "Thong Thursday" shot. So that newcomers are slapped in the face with the ridonkulousness, click here!


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watch: fckh8's new video about being full of sh!*

It's crazy to me that so many people I talk to when I wear my FCKH8 shirts have no idea what the charity/website/videos are! If YOU are one of those people, you need to educate yourself like now.

And their latest video is all about the politicians and being full of sh!*. As usual, they took the shocking route. Even when I'm used to their antics, I still gasped a little.



SO funny. SO true. SO OMG.

I think it's almost time for me to get a new t-shirt. I still wish I could collab with them somehow. I need to get on trying to make that happen.

love,
elizabethany

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nifty: the vibrating, human shaped, pillow phone [and other cell phone accessories]

Who only wants apps for their phone when they can have sweet gadgets and accessories?!

First of all, if you're in a long distance relationship or away from your family, you're going to need the Hugvie.



It's squishy, so that's neat. I'd snuggle with its vibrating body any time. And if I was in a long distance relationship, I'd make them talk real loud so ya know, it goes harder.

In case you were wondering, there are many more ridiculous accessories for your phone.

This ear case will obviously hide the fact you're on your phone while driving... and for only $16.

 

OR, you could hold a hand while talking. Maybe it'll make you feel like you're with that person for only $60.

But despite what you may think you should spend money on, your phone shouldn't be getting wet, so you shouldn't need a freaking windshield wiper.

Finally, something that I think is absolutely necessary, is this towel with built in speakers. Hello summer. It's so nice to see you, and this shall be my new companion at the beach for $75. [Dear Sugar Daddy or Birthday Santa...]

I think that makes us 5 steps closer to being complete cell phone geeks and having nothing but objects that have to do with them. The future is looking bright, my friends.....

love,
elizabethany

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watch: lisa turtle/lark voorhies is now a monster

YOU GUYS. THIS IS AWFUL. Lisa Turtle has clearly gone off the deep end somewhere, and looks completely unrecognizable.

I hoped that maybe it was just a bad shot, she didn't really look like that... but she does. That's a video screenshot. And this is the video.

She HAS to be on drugs or a lot of pills or something. She doesn't seem to be talking right...

But in good news... she definitely seems to be hinting at a legit show reunion... which would be really neat, if she could look a little better.. and get a make-up artist. Holy yikes.

love,
elizabethany

PS: I'm still in shock. Don't even know what to say.

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the photography of a sky-walker is insanely breathtaking

Woah. These photos are beyond incredible. I can't even think of a word for them.

They're from Marat Dupri in Russia, where apparently their photo trend isn't planking, it's climbing on insanely high things and capturing the surroundings. [Side note: Their trends are clearly way cooler than ours.]

Just LOOK at these!:

Those first two... holy CRAP. I do a lot for videos, and I'd probably feel the same way about pictures, but that's pretty effing scary.

Bravo, Russia. You win.

love,
elizabethany

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