life lesson: don't get drunk and climb a bridge

Hey y'all.... I'm not trying to say you're dumb or anything.... but there's no telling what you're going to do when you're 5 Red Seas in....

All I'm sayin' is- stay away from bridges! Don't walk over them, probably shouldn't walk under them, and for the love of sweet baby Jesus don't CLIMB UP THEM AND FALL ASLEEP!

One dude literally climbed 23 feet up this bridge after "missing the pedestrian walk" and passed the eff out.


"Hey man, what'd you do today?"
"Oh not much.... I don't think.... I don't know... I woke up to some firefighter dudes pulling me off the top of a bridge."

love,
elizabethany

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watch: the local morning news shared my ellen's dance dare video!

AH! Could I be one step closer?! This morning I got a tweet from Blaine Stewart, one of the anchors at News Channel 3 here in Hampton Roads [which just HAPPENS to be the same channel Ellen is on in the afternoons!], and he told me they'd be showing my video live on the morning show!

Here's what they played: First, the teaser, then the story-





HAHAHA, not going to lie, I'm not surprised people are commenting on my gyration and humping [someone on their FB page really didn't like it], and I wouldn't be surprised if that has something to do with Ellen not showing it, but hey- I was doing the white girl! Plus, when you're in the moment and have no music but the crazy, no-sense-making beats in your head, regular dance moves don't even seem right, nor fun.

I gotta thank Blaine and that whole team for sharing it! Hopefully it'll get some more local views. I'm still very low on them compared to others [I can't figure out why! :(], so feel free to watch it a bunch more times! I hate being obnoxious.



love,
elizabethany

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leaked! the real world casts' contract

By now I [which also means you] know a lot about what's included on the contract that all Real Worlders have to sign before entering the house.

Still, I can't know everything! Luckily for us noseys, the full contract was leaked!

Here are some interesting points/things we didn't know:

• You may die, lose limbs, and suffer nervous breakdowns.
  
• Producers are under no obligation to conduct background checks on your fellow cast members.
• Interacting with other cast members carries the risk of "non-consensual physical contact" and should you contract AIDS, etc. during such an interaction, MTV is not responsible.
• You don't have STDs, but accept that other people on the show might.
• You're not pregnant and you won't become pregnant before the show's done filming. If you do become pregnant, you'll tell the Producer immediately--and pregnancy is grounds for dismissal.
  
• You can't change your physical appearance during filming, without the Producer's express permission.
  
• The Producer can do pretty much anything they want with your life story, including misrepresent it.
• You promise not to hide from production cameras in establishments where they can't film.
  
• You authorize the Producer to have total access to your school records, government forms, your credit history.
• The production crew can show up at your personal house at any time to film and/or to take anything they want, as long as they return the objects once production has ended.
• For one year after the show's final episode airs, cast members are contracted to participate in all producer-determined press and forbidden from engaging in any media (radio, television, chat rooms, blogs) without the Producer's written permission. [*Now you see why getting podcasts are rather annoying nowadays]
  
• The Producer holds the authorship and copyright to every photograph, email, website, sound or video recording, documented performance created in relation to the program, on every medium imaginable.
• You're obligated to participate in a Reunion Special for up to five years after the show ends, you'll be paid $2500 for your involvement, and the Producer only has to give you 14 days notice.
  
• You're required to participate in book or home video projects for two years after the show ends, and you'll be paid $750.00 for each one.
  
• While you're on the show, you're responsible for all long-distance phone charges.
• They declare $1 million dollars be granted per breach of contract

It didn't say exactly how much they get charged every time they do talk to the media, but as I heard it, it was 50-100$ every time they spoke to me. Apparently it's not officially in the contract, though. [Or I'm just too ADD to read every single word. Skimming= less time consuming for a busy girl.]

Still, interesting to see it all in writing exactly how tied down they are. Would you be willing to sign this contract to go on the show? Do tell!

Count me out. The benefits after it all might be amazing, but I don't know if I could handle the loss of privacy at such extremes.

love,
elizabethany

PS: In other Real World news, Johnny Bananas is suing Entourage and HBO... Real life.

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monkey steals camera and acts adorable

#FunFact: Monkeys are my absolute favorite animal in the freaking world, and even though they rip humans to shreds, I still want one in my home.

So when I see stories like this of a monkey using a photographer's camera in the wild, playing with it, and hamming it up for the lens, I MELT.

This little guy was apparently fascinated with his reflection and the sound the camera made, so he took a bunch of pictures of himself! SMILING!

And then took a picture of the GUY!

I want to see more. I want to see the rest. NOW. Seriously. It could get dangerous if I don't see them. Apparently it happened three years ago but no one knew about it, but still.. where's the book?!

Too. Freaking. Cute.

Monkeys- You're so smart. I would say stop it, but it's too cute.

love,
elizabethany

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watch: the most giant goldfish ever caught in a lake

Ever think you've caught the coolest fish ever? Probably not. This lady caught the biggest goldfish you'll ever see.



Okay, so my coworkers say that it's some kind of fish in the same family as goldfish, but WHO CARES ABOUT TECHNICALITIES?!

In the news report, the lady said "she got skills" that helped her catch it. Right on, girl! Now you've become the latest news story overnight sensation.

IT IS BEAUTIFUL!!!!

love,
elizabethany


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watch: the drunkest news interview ever

What do people do when it's March Madness? They go to the bars and turn themselves into pure madness, duh.

Then, if they're lucky, they'll be interviewed by the news and turn into a viral sensation.



OMG. I could NOT contain myself while watching that in the studio!

For such a short news story, you'd think they'd leave that living bobblehead out of it. Then again, in the days of viral videos, stuff like this is key in getting your news story talked about.

Awesome. Just awesome.

love,
elizabethany

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life lessons 022411

You don't always have to kill the witnesses. Keep your hands outta the cookie jar. Say no to drugs. Your lessons for today.



love,
elizabethany

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life lessons 021711

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Learn yo lessons, peeps! ;)

love,
elizabethany

watch: electronic pickpocketing is crazy and scary

Tweet Normally when my mom sends an email warning me about something that could happen to me, it's old news. This time it was something I've never heard of.

Apparently for under $100, someone can get a scanner that can scan your credit card that's inside your wallet, inside your purse or pocket, as they walk by you.

Seriously. Look.



Andddd this is why technology is really getting scary. Besides a sleeve or something to protect it, how else do you make sure that doesn't happen?! It's not like you can have a bubble around you on a crowded street.

Wow. Wowwowwow.

love,
elizabethany

life lessons 120610

Tweet It's been a while since I, along with the help of some morons, have taught you anything. Let's take care of that.

A couple of ladies found an interesting way to steal a LOT of things, and a YouTube star killed his mom thanks to his videos.



People never cease to amaze me.

That is all. Learn your lessons, peeps.

love,
elizabethany

celebrating common sense day- life lessons 110410

Tweet WOO BOY! Today's show was awesome and I added a BUNCH of podcasts for you subscribers to check out.

It's also "Use Your Common Sense Day," so in order to celebrate, I obviously had to do another edition of Life Lessons.

Learn away:

You're very welcome for that knowledge and help.

love,
elizabethany

watch: the most epic news trainwreck ever

Tweet I was once a news reporter... I know things go wrong. I know sometimes it's hard to make a quick comeback after a mistake and sometimes you have to just laugh.

But this "incident" is one of a kind... And there's absolutely no overcoming it, so you might as well zoom in on the most hilarious thing in the scene.



If that's not the biggest ADD mind eff, I don't know what is.

Thank you, news reporters and producers, for putting your job on the line to give us a good laugh.

love,
elizabethany

hollywood minute and life lessons 101210

Tweet Two podcasts, one post.

All of your celebrity dirt for today-->




And some of the best morons in the news stories from today, here to teach you some life lessons:



love,
elizabethany

watch: p-nut the 7 year old rapper

Tweet It must be the day of child musical geniuses.

You've gotta meet P-Nut. He's 7 years old, and already a rap sensation in Memphis.

No really... He's performing with a bunch of Memphis rappers, and he's got some advice for kids who may want to make their dream come true one day.



How cute is he?! I seriously think he's got a bit of an older soul, but dang! The kid's got it goin' on! The way he talks, his posture, everything is so grown!

Maybe he and Willow can have a Chrianna relationship... Without the hitting, of course.

love,
elizabethany

watch: another crazy lady in the news gets robbed

Tweet I don't care how many times these guys do this, it's funny every time.

As long as there's an interesting person involved, it's going to make me LOL.

Check out what happens when a woman witnesses an attempted robbery, and when the Auto-tune the News kids get a hold of it.





And now it's stuck in my head.

Cuz I'm backin up backin up backin up....

What a great song.

love,
elizabethany

watch: nj housewife danielle bombs the morning show

TweetThere are some reality stars who really shouldn't bother trying to make music [*cough* Heidi Montag] and there are some who really should be shot when they do try to shove it in our faces.

One of those people is New Jersey housewife Danielle Staub.

She went on a morning news show to perform her single "Real Close," and you need to brace yourself before watching. The only pre-warning I'll give you is that there are large, male backup dancers twirling each other around.

 

If she's going for the "I need attention" career, cool. She's got it. She's HAD it. If she's going for the music career, homegirl better go home, cry, and give up now.

love,
elizabethany

meet antoine dodson: overnight internet sensation with a threat

It's amazing how quickly the Internet can spread something. Within hours Mr. Antoine Dodson was practically an Internet HERO, thanks to this news story:



Really it leaves me pretty speechless. Could he be any more... perfect for the Internet and all of us to laugh at him?!

It's possible... Especially when you start making remixes of it:







That last one is some Japanese instrument called a Shamisen. Crazy!

When you do something that instantly has people making remixes, you know you're set for life. So what's homeboy's reaction?



I bet those reporters are just super peachy at their new fame, too... Along with their news director.

Oh viral videos, how I love thee.

love,
elizabethany

watch: i was on the news again!

Eeep!! What a CRAZY week it's been. I can't lie- I'm a bit exhausted... But it's all worth it.

I showed you my appearance on the morning news, but now I shall show you what aired last night, and what went down behind the scenes of THAT news story.



It's an awesome package. I'm mad that I seem a little calm and maybe unsure at times... But let me make one thing clear- It's only because I'm deathly afraid of jinxing things, and I'm still not too sure if I'm supposed to have some sort of strategy to this... Hopefully having no strategy is best.

Also: My crooked mouth is ON POINT again! Aye yi yi. That thing is somethin' special, isn't it?!

love,
elizabethany

watch: i was on the morning news!!

Two days ago I began my "media tour" of sorts with an interview with the DA, the newspaper in Morgantown! Today I decided to hit the broadcasting world and join the KBTX crew on Brazos Valley This Morning for a quick interview and a shot at doing the news!

[Okay, so it wasn't my decision... they invited me and OF COURSE I said I'd love to do it!]

The best part: I was on camera at 6:20 am. I woke up at 5:50 am. Swear on my life. It was a bit ridiculous how I was able to get ready, iron my shirt, straighten some of my hair, and put makeup on within 9 minutes, but I did it!



You're going to come with me every step of the way for this journey, right?! I hope so! I'm takin' ya with me regardless!

love,
elizabethany

coming soon: skydiving from space

Get ready to witness history, my friends! Felix Baumgartner is an Austrian who recently told the world his plans to break the sound barrier... In a free fall.

Basically... He's going to go over 23 miles up in the sky, to the top of the stratosphere, and jump out of a hot air balloon.

Holy eff.

He'll apparently go at least 690 mph and maybe even faster, which will break the speed of sound! AH!

The thought of even just watching this makes me poop my pants. Somehow homeboy is managing to stay cool, calm, and collected.

"This is very much a step into the unknown; no freefall -- let alone a supersonic one -- has been successfully completed from the target altitude.... Yes, there's fear... But I use fear to my advantage, to keep focused."

By the way, don't go trying this at home or trying to beat him. He's going to be wearing a pressure suit and he's a pro at this sort of stuff. He's also a pilot. AKA: He knows what he's doing.

I didn't know this, but someone actually jumped from 23 miles up 50 years ago! Now he's helping mentor Mr. Baumgartner.

I will absolutely be watching whatever live stream there is when this happens. [There is no set date as of now.] I will also have my hand over my eyes and peak out just enough to see what happens. I act like I know the guy.

love,
elizabethany