why have fitspiration when you can have drunkspiration? [updated!]

Ya know what's fun? Taking things that are supposed to be motivational for "productive" things, and tying them in with other things that are wayyy more fun.

Fitspiration quotes help you get motivated for the gym, but I'd rather them motivate me to drink and party.

There are SO MANY more quotes that are perfect...

• If I fall, I will get back up. If I am beaten, I will return. 
• I'm prettiest when I sweat. 
• Push harder. Go longer. Mind over matter. You can do it. 

I can't wait to throw these at my friends when they come up with lam excuses not to go out. YES. 

If you make some of your own or find good quotes, let me know!

UPDATED! Look at these new ones!

love,

elizabethany

Tweet

review: i finally tried wine ice cream

Late last year I found this amazing wine ice cream and I was all "ooohh, break me off a piece of that!" until I realized it's only available in select states.

Well, thanks to some amazing friends who came to visit from New York, I finally got to try the amazeballs invention that is Mercer's wine ice cream. [Thanks to some dry ice, which created a really eery scene in my sink.]

Turns out, Nugget really likes it. I think cats really do take after their parents. [I have one slut and one alcoholic, so you do the math.] Anyway, I just figured I'd sneak a picture of him in here. Now onto the review.

 First of all, they're all so freakin' creamy and smooth, it's easily one of my favorite ice cream textures ever of all time before I even taste it. When it comes to flavor, these are my favorites, in order [without any fancy wine tasting descriptions cuz I know nothing about that]:

1. Chocolate Cabernet: You'd think it'd be a no brainer that anything chocolate wins. Well, yes, it's winning... but I really don't like Cabernet. The chocolate definitely masks it for the most part, with just a slight after-taste of the wine. It also has delicious chocolate chip shreddings.
2. Red Raspberry Chardonnay: This one was a no brainer. I love fruity ice cream, I love Chardonnay, and this is delightful. The flavor is strong from both ends, but not too strong.
3. Port: I've never had this kind of wine, but considering the ice cream is purple and I normally fear purple things, I thought I'd hate it. It's definitely different, and not many people who have tried it liked it, but I do.
4. Riesling: It has no added flavor, and it doesn't need it. It tastes like a creamy Riesling, and that's not a bad thing. It's refreshing and tastes like you're drinking.
5. Peach White Zinfandel: I thought I'd love this one, but I just don't. I'm not sure if it's a weird White Zin flavor or that the peach throws me off, but this one will probably be a pretty full container for a while.

Pretty obvious which ones I've taken several extra bites from, huh? You might also be able to tell that the chocolate one is not nearly as creamy as the rest. Unfortunately, that's true.. but it's still damn good.

See? He loves it. Maybe I'll just give him the leftovers. 

My overall reaction: GET THIS. If you're having a girl's night or even just a night in alone, this is your perfect companion. If you don't live in New York, Texas, New Hampshire, Tennessee, or Vermont, you need to get some good friends who do, and make them visit you. 

love,

elizabethany

Tweet

nifty: sneaky booze in tampons and sunscreen

You know how much I love finding ways to sneak booze into anywhere... now there are a couple more genius ways to make it happen. Most of them are for my ladies.

Exhibit A: fake tampons.

No one will ever question whether or not it's tampons you have in a tampon wrapper, unless it's some bitchy woman who's just jealous you get to drink and she doesn't. Dudes won't know what each wrapper looks like, nor do they wanna come closer than 10 feet from them.

You can buy them for 4/$10, but I was also thinking it'd be pretty easy to make. I bet you can find a bunch of those tubes at a dollar store or Walmart, then just use real tampon wrappers so NO ONE questions you! Badabing!

Exhibit B: Sunscreen bottles

Also genius, because this can go pretty much anywhere too. And here's the thing... you could buy this diddy and the funnel for $10, or you could just empty/wash out your bottle when you're done with it! You could even cut off the fat end, empty it, then melt it with a lighter. BadaBOOM!

Exhibit C: Boobie stuffers

We've seen ways to hide alcohol in boobs several times, but why not one more?! Fill a flask, stick in in, all day long you'll have some gin. [Okay, that was a weird rhyme/ode to the find a penny thing...] 

You can actually buy all of these things in one pack for $28, which would be a damn good gift idea. [FYI my birthday was two weeks ago and I still haven't received your present...]

Happy drinking and saving money, y'all.

love,
elizabethany

Tweet

nifty: chocolate peanut butter beer

Normally the idea of chocolate flavored beer, alcohol, anything freaks me out... but after reading the review of this here "Sweet Baby Jesus" beer, I'm all about trying it. I mean... it's called SWEET BABY JESUS, if that's not enough of a reason.

Apparently it's a fantastic combination of flavors that makes your tongue think it's drinking a Reese's peanut butter cup. The best part: It's brewed in Maryland! That's like... practically Virginia, and probably means it's easy to find, right!?

Pretty much, yes! Just have to find a Du Claw location, and there are a few in Maryland, including BWI airport! Who's ready for a road trip?! cuz I'm already in the car and ready to go try it out.

[Okay, maybe not... but in my head I am.]

love,

elizabethany

Tweet

nifty: i will only drink heineken once this new bottle debuts

Heineken: not one of my favorite beers. Not even in the top ten-fifteen top options... but I'll tell you what.... If this here bottle that they're introducing is real life and available to everyone soon, it's all I'll be drinking.

Basically, they'll have a little plastic bottom that lights up every time you cheers someone, take a sip, or dance to some loud music. When you're being a lame and not drinking, the light is out. Don't let your light go out.

How FUN does that look?! Someone said "After the novelty wears off, the idea seems absurd. I mean, would you want a beer that lights up every time you took a sip of it?"

Simple answer: Hell to the YES! It'd be an instant party every time!

Someone tell me when this can be in my fridge and how much it's going to cost me... cuz it's going to happen.

love,
elizabethany

Tweet

listen: radio host is hammered for her last show

Ya wanna know why your favorite radio personalities seem to just disappear overnight with no explanation? Because bosses are terrified of us going nuts as butts during our last show. We could cuss to no end, broadcast secrets about the station, or show up hammered drunk [also illegal].

I may or may not have been extremely intoxicated from the night before while doing my final show in College Station... but I think I played it off better than this BBC Radio lady. She is one big ol' sloppy, slurring hot mess. If you can make out half of what she's saying, you should become a translator.



“I’ve had a couple of drinks, I’m not drunk. I’m sad… Start your messages with… Stoke? Yes, start it with Stoke. I don’t care. Whatever you want to hear this afternoon, it’s like you can hear it.”  Just in case you needed some help...

I know radio people laugh at ourselves quite a bit... but this lady is awkwardly laughing way more than usual.  It's amazing. She drowned her sadness in happy, drunken, giggly tears. Perfect.

Also, if you stare at that picture while listening, it's almost like you see her with her drunken, half smile while doing the show. It's mesmerizing.

love,
elizabethany

Tweet

how to: turn your graduation cap into a flask

Can we travel back in time four years, let me regraduate, but already know this little trick?!

Some genius named Dominique Zamora figured out how to turn your cap into a full functioning flask, drinking straw included.

Seriously, y'all..... Talk about ending your college career the right way! And if you go to a school where you have to wear the tassel, I'm sure it'd be plenty easy to attach it in a way to conceal the straw thing.

Someone do this. Like now. More details here. 

love,

elizabethany

Tweet

nifty furniture you'll need for the coolest house ever

I spend hours a night on Pinterest looking at the coolest of the cool things that I could get to make my house the one everyone will want to visit this summer, so now it's about time I share them with you so we can have the same dream house. [But still come play at MINE, okay?!]

This my friends is a floppy disk coffee table, that lets you play with that metal piece you always used to as much as you want! Bonus: It could even be a work-out!

And THIS, is a fully functioning Nintendo controller coffee table! Just take the top glass off, hook it up to your system, and play away! Gaming fa dayzz!

Maybe your friends are a little lamer than you [or will steal your stash], so you need to hide your beer fridge near your bed... in a NIGHT STAND! 

Or we can just trip people out with this floating table cloth! Sure, they might figure out the secret eventually, but in the meantime you'll look all Casper-ific!

Now we need some seating...

I've always wanted a bean bag, but people told me I was crazy. Just LOOK at this thing! You can flop it around however you want and not even worry about it getting flat! Pretty sure people would fight over it. [In the good way.]

Finally, if you have a solid sugar daddy, this here rocking outdoor bed looks so freaking comfortable, but mostly fun! Imagine the sex... and the tricks... and the rocking/flipping. 

Okay, I guess some of those aren't exactly in my normal budget, but I can't resist adding them to my wish-list. Maybe someone will feel like donating to charity. [Me being the charity, for the morons.]

love,

elizabethany

Tweet

25 rumchata recipes to change your life

I said all over social media and my show last week that after hearing the Kane Show talk about Rumchata for months, I finally found some and tried it... and hott damn my life is changed forever. 

I'm not normally into the sweet drinks. In fact, I normally keep it very fruity with straight up screwdrivers everywhere I go. Now Rumchata has opened up a whole new world of drinks. 

It's just a liqueur, so it's not very strong, which makes it perfect for a mixer! You could absolutely drink an entire glass of it straight [it tastes like the milk of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, no lie], or you could spike it up a little. 

Thanks to Pinterest, I got some ideas for recipes, but I'll also be trying some of my own. 

Golden Graham shots will be happening in my life very soon.

Oh, a root beer float?! Count me in! Maybe with some added root beer vodka.

Campfire Delight martini: Van Gogh Dutch Chocolate Vodka, Creme de Cacao, Rumchata, Marshmallow Syrup and Cream, then top with Roasted Marshmallows

RumChata Colada

LOTS of ways to make a Rumchata martini! 

Basically any sweeter kind of vodka can be added in! I mixed it 2 parts to 1 with maple syrup Burnetts and holy wet pants.

RumChata in hot chocolate! Or White Russians!

White Chocolate, Snickerdoodle Martini. Real life, this is liquid dessert.

RumChata bombs anyone?! This would absolutely work in favor of your tastebuds.

And then there's even food you could make...

RumChata pancakes, made with the Instant mix! Oh yes.

I've heard really good things about this RumChata French Toast. 

Seriously, the possibilities are endless, and for me- the cinnamon makes it so what might normally be very sweet, isn't as serious.

If you've tried anything with it that is like OMG ORGASMIC, you gotta share with me, obvi!

love,
elizabethany

Tweet

nifty: the bangle flask! and another way to conceal your alcohol

When I first saw this here flask, I about peed a little bit. Not that I ever wear bracelets, but someone's a genius for making one a flask! I could be girly and drunk! That's almost an oxymoron.

I present to you, the Bangle Flask.

It's a bit chunky, but that's worth it! What's not: The price tag. You gotta pay a whopping $225 for this diddy. Not okay, even if it is "designer."

So, I decided to find something else to conceal your alcohol and look great. Normally I'd say a brown bag around your bottle would be a little hobo'ish, but this here is a coozie... which obviously makes it okay!

And the cost for that?! Just $7. Totally in my price range. DEAL!

love,

elizabethany

Tweet

watch: what every girl does the morning after going out

When I say every girl does it, I guess that's me hoping that I'm not the only one... cuz this here video is my life.

Wake up from a serious coma, notice your phone isn't around you, and let the panic start in.


I wish I could remember the excuses I came up with last weekend... pretty sure it was "the pizza man probably stole it from the counter." Where was it really? The purse I took out... I had been looking in a different purse. Woopsies.

love,
elizabethany

Tweet

nifty: you need to start sending friends these drunk postcards

Before we continue, let's all agree on one thing:

Snail mail > E-mail

Sure, email is way quicker and snail mail is like so 1989, but finding something in your mailbox that's actually something cool is a week-maker.

Now that we've settled that....

You need to check out DrunkCards, order some for only $2 a pop [including postage], and snail mail those suckers to all your ridiculous friends.

Here are my faves I'll be ordering:

I mean, there might be some inside jokes behind those, but all of the cards on the site are simple yet bizarre, and all about being reckless. 

If you're too cheap to spend a couple dollars on your loyal, fantastic friends, you could always cheat [I would never condone such a thing as what I'm about to say] and print their e-cards out. 

I think they're fantastic, and I will spend entirely too much time sending these out to friends. If you want one, you just let me know! 

Oh and BTW, you can get one sent to you for free to try it out. You betta believe I signed up for that!

love,

elizabethany

PS: If you so happened to wanna send me one...... 

5589 Greenwich Road

Suite 200

Virginia Beach, VA 23462

Just, ya know... in case. Please don't send bombs. 

Tweet