the everyday struggles of a former big booty girl

Once upon a time, I had one of the most magnificent butts. It was a part of my gymnast body. Small-small-small up top then BAM. A booty of 100% muscle.

Then.... I got fat, then lost the weight... and along with it, my ass.

Some people worry about losing their flat abs they once had, I'm pissed no one is calling my butt "its own planet."

I've noticed some other friends of mine have also lost their signature body part, so I'm assuming people can relate to this list. If you can't, at least you can feel my everyday pain and torture.

• Songs like "All About That Bass" or "Baby Got Back" come on and at first you're all YEEEAAAHHHH THIS IS MY JAM... before quickly realizing that you should sit your non-ass down and shut up. 
• You crop pictures not because you're fat, but because you're flat
• When someone else is told their ass is nice or big, you feel immediate [not slightly justified] hate for that person.
• Finding jeans or size small bottoms that actually fit bothers you. 
• You try every "booty boot camp" exercise, and get frustrated when they don't work immediately.
• You're constantly looking at your profile in the mirror trying to convince yourself there's still something there.
• Looking back on old pictures doesn't hurt because you miss your friends... you miss your badonk. 
• You have to endlessly search for jeans that will give it an illusion of being bigger and rounder, something it used to do on its own.
• You feel like you're going through an identity crisis because WHAT WILL YOU BE KNOWN FOR NOW?!
• You know your body has absolutely nothing to offer now.
• It takes everything in your being to admit it... if you ever do.

All good things must come to an end, I guess... and pictures like this must be retired.

love,
elizabethany

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pinspired video: trying all the booty workouts in the studio

Hopefully you follow me on Twitter and have seen me talking about doing all my ass workouts while doing my show. It's true, I really do them. I found one pin that has "the 22 best exercises for your butt" and have been doing at least half of them pretty regularly.

Here are some of them, in fun EB's vlog form.


And here's how I'm feeling about them:

• Squat challenge: NEGATIVE. Doing only this is not going to do much for your ass, and I've had many friends try it for the full month and see nothing... even the girls with the smallest of butts. Do other things in addition, silly!
• I call them "scales," but the standing straight up, holding your leg behind/a little to the side for 30 seconds-1 minute [depending on your strength] then doing 30 small raises afterwards... they're my favorite. I feel like my cheeks are instantly lifted after doing 3 sets. 
• "Simple Bridge"- I think it works, but it looks hella awkward. I like to do about 30 of them and then hold for a minute. Seems to work a lot of muscles!
• Single leg squats [that I forgot to include for some reason]- THESE work, but they work everything! My 80 year old knees can't handle them well. I did two sets of 10 or 15, and my knees kept giving out for the next couple hours.
• Butt pinchers- Stop. This is a joke of an exercise.
• Side squats: These seem to work more than just regular squats for me, but I still wouldn't use it as my only exercise.
• Squat sit- Another one that I can feel right away, specifically in my butt, but also in my knees. I need a replacement. 

If you've found some that aren't in the pin or the video that totally work, share with me/us puh-lease! I know I had a ton that we always did in gymnastics, but I'm totally brain-farting on the ones that would bring my gymnast booty back without making it impossible to walk on my knees. 

love,

elizabethany

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coco's thong gets lost in her ass shot

I've been getting a lot of complaints [obviously from the boys] about my lack of XXX posts lately. I'M SORRY! It has been a year, and I will try harder to please you smuts.

This isn't totally XXX rated, but it is slutty and outrageous. It's Coco's ass in a "Thong Thursday" shot. So that newcomers are slapped in the face with the ridonkulousness, click here!


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