No, I don't mean time for April showers and allergies... I mean the time to worship and celebrate the cock!!
Seriously. I'm not kidding. Last year I was just as shocked as most of you when I found out that every year at the beginning of April Japan hosts Kanamara Matsuri, AKA the Steel Phallus Festival.
I'm still not sure exactly what all goes on. There's a parade of schlongs, lots of weiner-shaped foods, and thousands of people worshiping the biggest wangs you'll ever see.
There's even dong shaped novelties and rides!
It's all about celebrating fertility, and what other object is the root of such evil?! Nothing.
They're probably the scariest johnsons I've ever seen. I think I'd run far, far away if they came near me. Then again, I'd totally want to get some very inappropriate pictures and make sure every prude American sees it.
Leave it to the Asians to do such a thing, right?! Silly Asians...
love,
elizabethany
PS: Can someone remind me next March about this?! I won't remember, but I absolutely want to be in attendance... No matter how scary it may be.
Do you ever make a bucket list for things? Sometimes it seems so silly, or it might feel more like a to do list than a checklist of fun things, but I've found it helps me actually get things done that I want to do.
Now that I'm working 6 days a week, the thought of wasting any time just sitting around alone freaks me out. I do enough sitting alone at the studio throughout the week. When the weekend is here, I want to do ALL THE ACTIVITIES. It might become too much when I'm cussing out friends for being "the lamest," but like.... I'm just trying to make their life better. They should thank me for teaching them a hard lesson.
For summer 2015, I set out to:
Attend a festival
See an outdoor movie
Explore Georgetown's waterfront/paddleboard
Waterpark
A DC pool party
Tubing/floating the river
Boating
Make alcoholic popsicles [I've had the molds FOREVER]
National Harbor at sunset
All of that, along with the regular summer activities like going to the beach, country concerts, as many pool days as possible, etc. I achieved 5 1/2.... which is a little upsetting, but I had zero extra time, so I'm walking away mostly satisfied. It's like a good romp, but you know there's better out there somewhere.
Because I can't pretend like I have a cool life without all the pictures to prove it, a few of my favorite moments:
Checked off the pool party right away when they handed me alcohol and a microphone on the roof of a hotel in Dupont on Memorial Day [and again on Labor Day]!
My two friends who [separately] added MARRIED to their life status.
Turning the station into CARLY 99.5 as we helped her find a bone marrow donor. UPDATE: She got the transplant!
Taking Tori Kelly and some listeners on a tour of DC!
My birthday party with some very important people has to be on here, duh.
My first camp-out/overnight festival! Big Barrel in Delaware was a wet mess of incredible fun and country music.
July's trip: Staying on a boat in KEY WEST for 4th of July and my best friend's 30th!
Turns out the outdoor movie idea was a bit tough to get through when the sun is beating down on you at 95 degrees... but still got to hang out at the beautiful Harbor!
Giving out free ice cream every Friday became even cooler when I got to surprise my dad at his office with the treats and my stilts!
Mama Plog got the special treatment when I took her to her first meet and greet so she could fangirl over how hott they were.
Being AT Pride is awesome... helping HOST it- real honor making me feel real cool.
My second date with Sam Hunt, obviously a highlight. I mean LOOK AT THIS PICTURE. Oh MAH GAWD.
The start of eating as many calories as possible at the county fair because what the hell else are you supposed to do when you're broadcasting live from there?!
Oh right, you also ride rides after eating all the calories.
Spent several days stalking my brother at National's Park.
Another successful PLOGERPALOOZA at the parents' humble abode. Getting grown adults in a group picture is significantly different from even just a couple years younger.
Wouldn't be a complete summer without proving that I can still hold myself upside down in the sand for at least one whole second.
And when you have mermaid hair, you must have a mermaid photoshoot.
I got my brother and dad a ziplining trip for CHRISTMAS. We finally completed it because I'm a good daughter/sister.
And my most favorite summer moment: Spur of the moment slip n slide kickball.
[That's Mikey.]
The reason this is my favorite moment: I had seen viral videos of this and always wanted to try it, but never knew how to get it going. On the final day of summer, I'm scrolling through Facebook and see [what I think is] a stranger post a picture of them setting it up. I say I want to play, and he sends me an address.
I was already out with friends, and had more plans for the rest of the day.... but I showed my main PIC, my bro, a pic of it and he immediately said we needed to go. So we did. I drove an hour to some person's house and played the most fun game ever and made some new friends. [I ended up learning later that I had met the guy who invited me during a rather... not-so-memorable night... woops.]
It was more proof that I should say yes to things, even if I think I can't. The plans I had for that evening could be post-poned a little bit for some epic memories and stories and Snapchat videos.
Why make excuses for yourself to not have fun? Why prevent yourself from making memories? Your couch can wait. That show, the errands, the relaxation...it can all be done at a later time.
And while I'm getting all deep or whatever you call this, I should add that the end of summer brings a genuine sadness to me every year. I don't want to go as far as calling it seasonal depression, but I really do have a hard time coping with it. It's looking back at my crossed off bucket list and writing a new one that have helped me this year.
Now I need to find a way to get in ALL THE FOOTBALL and ALL THE FALL ACTIVITIES into my one day off a week. I have all the confidence.
Summer, I love you...
Until next year's list.
love,
elizabethany
PS: If you have any ideas for a FALL bucket list, send em my way, duh!
After last year's quick trip to Big Barrel, and then it being canceled, I knew I had to get a new country festival to go to. A TON of them kept getting canceled, but Jamboree in the Hills claimed to be the oldest and the easiest to get to so BAM. I was going.
I looked for an RV, found a bunch of Mountaineer friends, bought way too much food and just enough alcohol, and hit the road for Belmont, Ohio. AKA Bumf***.
We got lucky and parked near some horse friends, and with a quick walk down the parking lots, found families with a legit pool setup. That's what's so fun about these things! You meet interesting people [who try to jump into a pool and totally fail].
First order of business upon arrival: A beer bong. Obviously while wearing something America and overalls.
That pool had a filter AND a heater! And he claims it was $80.
It was a rainy night... but being in the rain, without caring about how wet you get, is one of the most freeing feelings.
Essentials for Jambo: A fancy DIY cooler [you can actually bring in your drinks and food!!!!] and some good ol' redneck clothing.
Only time to sleep: Between artists. [Actually, I felt pretty good about the amount of sleep I got. Most of the time everyone was out around midnight, up at 8am. Plenty of snoozing!]
My roommates for the weekend! So proud of us for putting it together and having faith in it being awesome!
There's another detail that I've been telling everyone- how much we all spent. After designating one person as the bank to front the money for the tickets, RV, gas, food, alcohol, EVERYTHING... then splitting it up, we each only spent $430! Considering that's all the alcohol and food FOR FOUR DAYS, I'll call that a bargain of a trip! We even had way too much food left over and could have spent $30 less.
So who's in for next year?! Mark your calendars for the third weekend in July and we'll see you there!
I'm starting to get a hang of this being-a-Texan thing I think... Or at least I'm trying to fake it.
I went to the Texas Reds Festival this weekend [which was really awesome... minus them not accepting out-of-state IDs... I call discrimination!] and emceed the Grape Stomp with my fellow Candy95ers.
It was definitely entertaining. Definitely hot. And definitely gross when Adam Knight accepted my double dog dare to drink the foot juice.
Though I'm glad he didn't deny my dare, that's really freakin' disgusting. I definitely barfed in my mouth... Many times.
Now I can't wait til next year! I'll be sure to have my Texas ID by then...
*This is gonna be a long one. I'm treating it like my diary... and a way to motivate myself [and maybe others] in the future if I'm ever feeling down.*
Truth: Every year in September, I watch a ton of my coworkers and idols and big bosses head out to Vegas for our iHeartRadio Music Festival, have the time of their lives, meet each other, be merry, watch incredible performances, and post all of their pictures to accomplish what I assumed was their only goal: to make me extremely jealous. The FOMO really turned into a physical pain last year and I decided no matter what, I was going next year.
More truth: Not many people get "picked" or awarded trips out there from the company. We're amongst the peasants to find our way out there, buy tickets, etc. That's what I had to do. I bought a solo ticket, planned on dancing alone in the crowd, and hoped I'd be able to hustle my way backstage or at the very least- find a friend. No matter how many friends from home offered to come along, I knew I needed to make this about networking and didn't want the baggage.
Turns out- Being in Vegas alone is weird. Luckily, everyone's drunk and if you're out early enough, you'll find people to talk to who haven't gotten to the belligerent and creepy level yet. That's what I did on Thursday before dinner.
Anyone who has come to me [or maybe didn't ask but I gave it anyway] for career advice, I've always said networking is the biggest thing.. and not just "good to meet you," but also genuinely keeping in touch with them. Thanks to doing this, I was invited to dinner with some VIPs in iHeartMedia. Next thing I know, we're doing porrons, which looks a lot like awkwardly pouring olive oil in your mouth.
Yeah, we keep it real professional 24/7 in this biz.
From there, I got the invite to check out the club everyone talks about in Vegas, and where Tiesto has his residency- Hakkasan. Suddenly I'm sitting behind the opening DJ, sipping on drinks and looking like a kid who just got a gift they couldn't even dream of under the Christmas tree.
Day two was actually day one for most people, and for the festival. After a slow recovery [turns out it's possible for me to get a handicapping hangover], I head to another dinner that I luckily got invited to by simply mentioning to someone that I didn't know what was going on. They called their people who set me up with free food, drinks, chats with Martin Garrix and Tinashe, and more networking.
At one point, this convo happens:
Me: My bosses all took bets on what would get me arrested first, and it's probably gonna be a restraining order from Britney Spears.
Big wig at RCA Records: Do you like her or something?
Me: *complete shock* I. LOVE. HER.
RCA: Well, have you ever met her?
Me: *eyes start watering up* No I don't know if I could even handle that. Don't say that.
RCA: What if I could make it happen?
Me: No, really, don't tease me. *more tears* I need to mentally prepare for something like that.
He looked like he was gonna be up to something, but I couldn't count on it. It was time to head to the show, anyway.
As I'm walking there with friends in the biz, we run into the right person carrying a pocket full of passes. He says hello, asks if we wanna go backstage, and HOLY HELL I'M GOING BACKSTAGE JUST LIKE THAT.
Seriously y'all, I knew I would have to hustle hard and it COULD happen, but I really didn't think it would on night one.
Charlamagne tha God
Being back there was surreal. It was Jingle Ball on ecstasy. Celebs EVERYWHERE. Bosses EVERYWHERE. People I knew I had to meet EVERYWHERE. It was gametime. There was no holding back. I decided I would say hello to everyone I could, and I did. I talked to the program directors of other radio stations. I talked to other on air personalities that I've looked up to [the amount of times I told Charlamagne tha God that he's brilliant = 12, at least]. I talked to the freaking CEO of iHeartMedia like it was nothing. I just walked right up to him with my hand out, introduced myself, and thanked him for letting me be a part of a company that puts on such an incredible event.
I mention talking to these people before anyone else because it was meeting the fellow iHeart people that gave me such a high. Every time I introduced myself and they had heard my name before, I was stunned. My boss here in DC walked up and could tell I was happier than I had ever been in my entire life, and she was right. I was living in a dream that I never thought was possible.
But of course, there were the celebs. The artists, the reality stars... THE OLYMPIANS. I've gotten in trouble before for being in the way, so I made sure I was never doing that, but I seized the freaking moments and said hello/got a selfie with everyone I could.
Skeery Jones, Elvis Duran Show
John Ivey, PD of KIIS in LA
Laurie Hernandez + Ben and Lauren from The Bachelor
Scooter Braun, Bieber [and more] manager
Carla Marie and Anthony from Seattle
I was hanging with Raven, another fellow night chic out of Minneapolis, and just kept telling her we had nothing to lose. We're either going to fangirl from afar over everyone, or we're gonna be their friends.. OR we're gonna fangirl to their face and have a good story to share. If we're not doing any of the above, none of this would have been worth it. It became the motto of the weekend.
I genuinely can't even explain the feeling I had beyond bliss and pride. I had a pride in myself that I'm not sure I'd ever had, and I hadn't even done any actual work! It was just a successful night of meeting everyone. Then we got to hang behind Martin Garrix, and next to Miley Cyrus + Liam Hemsworth. It was tough, but I let them live their life without bothering them... plus I was mesmerized by Garrix, the huge moving circles in the middle of the club, and the fact that Zedd showed up to show love and just stood in the corner of the booth jamming along. I LOVE mutual respect within any business; there's nothing sexier.
Come Saturday morning, well noon, I was still drunk and getting ready for the Daytime Village. I have a reputation to live up to: Party all the time, have fun, and do it all again. Seriously. Professional reputation that I mentioned being proud of before....
A couple dozen people were chillin and eatin and enjoying even more music when I get the text from RCA: "Be at the venue no later than 6."
PANIC FREAK OUT @#*($@#&$*@#&$^&@
Rush back, get ready, and tear up the entire way there. Then tear up in the hall. And this is not like me. I won't pretend like I don't get a little starstruck sometimes, because I do... but when I said I'd cry while meeting Britney I didn't think it would really happen.... til it did. BUT WHO CARES I MET HER. She called me baby and did this interesting "mouth pose," as my friend said.
I walk out to find Jordan Fisher, who I absolutely adore, and I'm shaking and freaking out and he's just laughing at me and trying to calm me down.... until John Stamos and Taylor Lautner walk by. What do I do? I walk in front of them and yell HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *pause* Uhhh... that's it! Just wanted to say hi!!!!!! *another pause and awkward smile* John laughs, says an Uncle Jesse hi, and they walk around me.
There's Jordan again, laughing... Wishing someone had caught the moment on Snap or something. It was clearly going to be a very awkward night.
Saturday night was another night of networking [with a much more awkward touch, but I still owned it as much as I could without being medicated...] and trying to get into the super special invite-only after party. Everyone talked about it all weekend. It was my main goal and I let everyone I talked to know it.
JoJo the Bachelorette, Becca from Bachelor, and Dr. Oz!!
Big D, afternoons on 95.5 the Bull, and Raven from KDWB
At one point, out of nowhere, someone walks up and hands me a pass to get in. Just like that. BAM. WHAT IS HAPPENING AND HOW DID THIS ALL COME TRUE?!? I'm not trying to ask any questions out loud that other people might be wondering in their minds.
Here I am, in a Vegas club, in a booth... with a few coworkers, a few people I've idolized, and then Ryan Seacrest and Lil Jon in the booth right next to us. I feel like some of this sounds so non-chalant, and to some people it was, but I was freaking out on the inside. I'm STILL freaking out. It was almost like an out of body experience [and no- not because of Vegas' beverage of choice for once].
A week later, I've been working on this post for several days, but there's always more that I'm thinking about... and SO many thank you notes that I'm working on sending through snail mail because handwritten notes are the best notes... and again, if you're not going to keep in contact and really stay friends with these people, what was the point?! [Well, beyond a bomb ass time in Vegas and stories that'll take over an entire night if someone asks me how it went...]
Once again, I went on a trip where I was technically alone, and came out learning so much and feeling so motivated. Don't be afraid to travel alone. Well, you can be afraid, but don't let it hold you back. When you do something that scares or intimidates you and then really follow through with it, the reward is that much better.
This post should end here. I should really learn to STFU sometimes.... but also, I shouldn't. Talking got me here and it's gonna get me to wherever my future is waiting. Still, I'm done. for now. Right after I share some more pictures/views from Snapchat so you get the whole vibe in case you were also way too drunk and missed it.
No, I don't mean time for April showers and allergies... I mean the time to worship and celebrate the cock!!
