introducing my new california boyfriend

For the past week, I've been all over California on a little "Men Rehab." You see, I had a couple of instances in my life and some of my friends' lives that made me throw my hands up and forfeit when it comes to humans with a thing hanging between their legs. I just couldn't handle it anymore.

I'll have more pictures from the entire trip coming up this week, but I have to tell you about my new boyfriend from San Francisco.

We've chosen to keep his identity private because, ya know, stalkers and the media and everything... but I found him in the candy store of all places! He came with a lot of promises and I trusted him to not let me down.

I've heard of men being "growers," but this seemed like the ultimate grower AND shower! So we went on our first date- a picnic in Point Lobos near the cliffs and the water. I drove, but it was hard to concentrate with this babe of a shotgun rider.

 The view was incredible. We sat on a bench, shared a sandwich, and it was all so good we even had our first kiss there. 

He then took me to a beach with purple and pink colored sand- it's like he just got me right away! And he even let me bury him.

And can we talk about how good my new favorite hunk looks in the sunset light?! I was falling in love with the quickness. I already knew that I could follow him anywhere in this world. 

Our next date started with drinks, of course. I was hoping to take advantage of him this time so I got the big stuff. 

It worked. Look what I got to wake up to in the morning. *insert heart eye emoji here*

Then something weird happened. I left him to sleep in his own waterbed for one night, and he woke up looking different. He had bumps everywhere, was a bit *soft* when I was handling him. 

Hmph. You leave a guy alone for one night and he gets an STD and/or moves on?! It wasn't right.

Suddenly he showed up outside my hotel with my favorite flowers. Typical. 

But of course I gave in, and we had a lovely bae-side dinner.

And then, one final California sunset. How can you hate a man who will pose for all your pictures and get you flowers?! Spoiler alert: You can't.

 Now, I'm not sure what the future will hold for my new man and me. The soft thing is still an issue and who knows if he'll even stay as fun now that we're back on the East Coast... [Oh yeah, did I mention he came back with me to try things out? It seems fast but like, why wait?!] I'm hopeful, though. If nothing else, at least he taught me how to love again in such a difficult time.

love,
elizabethany

PS I hope that you had already met boyfriend on Snapchat throughout the week. If you didn't, follow me now so you don't miss out on our future adventures! ;)

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this is what saved me

YOU SHOULD BE WARNED: This is a bit of a serious blog. Me. EB. Getting real and deep. Or maybe like whatever is inbetween deep and shallow. Is there a word for that?

Remember when I said my trip to California was life changing? It was for a couple reasons. 1- I was alone, driving along the PCH with a lot of thinking time. 2- I read a book. An entire book, cover to cover, for maybe the third time in my life.

The book: The Comprehensive ENFP Survival Guide, by Heidi Priebe.

I should say that I've NEVER been one to believe in or even care about astrology. It's all so generic to match everyone and ew. Get out. But when I took the personality test and read all the extensive characteristics about my results [ENFP], and then continued to read dozens of articles about the different types... I related to every single one on a very direct level. Even stupid ish like "The Top Relationship Deal Breaker for Each Myers Briggs Type" and "The Role Each Type Plays at a Party" were making me be like "AWWWWW DAMN THAT'S ME YOU GOT ME YOU'RE A PSYCHIC WE'RE BEST FRIENDS, INTERNET!"

Then I saw this Survival Guide for $5 and figured why the hell not, I'll have some time on the plane.

A little personal back story that I normally keep from the public world, but people may have caught on: in September 2014, I went through a break up. Considering relationships are not something I do, the fact that I was in one for three years was a magical feat. It was my second official relationship ever, we were madly in love on day two, living together after a year, and long distance for the third year. For months I knew we were coming to an end, so when it happened- I figured I was fine. I sobbed at the pool under sunglasses for two days, drank myself into a blacked-out oblivion for a couple months, then made some new *friends* to have fun with.

I felt like I was happy. I was stuck in a weird rut creatively/with work, but these things happen and I blamed it on not having enough time, my ADD meds not working, and being surrounded by people and THEIR drama. I was traveling all the time, working my dream job with an awesome new boss, and for the first time in my life-saving up some money. What the hell could I possibly complain about?!

So as I head out to California, I jokingly said I was going on a rehab because I had just dealt with a couple of guys who were beyond emotional and hurt my brain. Once I was out there I found a happiness and care-free feeling that was like reconnecting with your best friend after years... you forgot how great it was. Even in pictures, I saw a sparkle again. [Let's use an analogy: As Britney got healthier after that horrid 2007, we kept saying she was happy... but we were lying. That twinkle in her eye wasn't there in pictures until recently.]

On my way home, I'm editing the pictures, then start reading this book. It was teaching me some things about the Myers Briggs system and making me feel like I was taking a science class. Then it was describing my entire self- my upbringing, family, friendships, work life/needs... then I got to some chapters about your personality crashing. Turns out losing yourself is real and these were signs I should look out for:

• "Rather than coming across as their bubbly, optimistic selves, the ENFP will be formal and curt with their interactions, convincing even themselves that they won't be happy until they accomplish their goals."
• "At your best, an ENFP is bold, adventurous, decisive and capable. At your worst, you are avoidant, irresponsible, self destructive, and prone to addiction."
• Your fatal flaw is escapism. You dislike dwelling in negative emotion and avoid them at absolutely all costs. 
• You may give up on new projects prematurely and get distracted by engaging in the never ending chase for the next great high.
• You'll string someone along emotionally while you make up your mind, manipulating them into thinking your feelings are stronger than they are. 
• Our struggles are born out of self neglect.
• When your friends aren't available to go out as much as you'd like, you'll simply expand your circle. You'll shame or look down upon people for not living like you.

It was one slap in the face after another being like "girlfriend, you are effed up and admission is the first step to recovery."

Luckily, it told me how to get out of it. It told me to have some routine in my life like more sleep, more workouts, more conversations with friends, but also experience more because experiences are what make me feel fulfilled. Through an "activity," I realized follow-through is what I care about most in other people, but I needed to get back to doing it myself. The book/Heidi legitimately called me out for bragging about not needing a lot of sleep and told me to quit that ish cuz it's not worth it. So I did. 

It's weird when words on a page can know you so well and change the way you feel so quickly. A couple friends/family members had been asking me if I was alright for months, but could never give me an example of why they were worried, so I just brushed it off. This book knew everything I was doing!

Starting the next day, the admission happened. I had a meeting with my boss, lunch with my mom, and conversations with friends and exes. I kept telling everyone about "my book" and how I was sorry but I felt revived again. I even told them about the extra stuff I read like why I suck in relationships, how I'm helpful/terrible in the workplace. 

A lot of people have since asked me what book it is and if they should read it... if you're ENFP- do it. If you're not, it's hard for me to say whether or not it'll be interesting to you. There ARE several articles that might be able to help, like "What Each Type Does in a Rut." Heidi also wrote another book for all types right here.

Is this what it's like when someone suddenly becomes religious?! Is this my new Bible or something? I'm not saying Myers-Briggs is always right for everyone, or reading a book or some articles is going to change your life, but I do know that I'm beyond thankful to stumble upon it all. I knew I had to share it with not only everyone I talk to, but the world wide web too.

I'm still working on being my ridiculously happy, constantly motivated self 24/7, but every time I'm not, I notice it [or my friends do] and try to snap out of it. I've even printed out the below quotes/excerpts to put around and read regularly. On questionable days, they reel me back in.

View post on imgur.com

This would also be a good time to thank you for sticking through it all with me. Every day I worried that I wasn't being entertaining enough or doing enough to keep people's attention... and maybe I wasn't, but at least YOU are here reading this right now. So thank you for caring. Or pretending to care. Or reading the first and last paragraph and thinking "this B thinks I care, that's funny." Still counts. 

Thank you. And here's to a new year, OLD me. 

love,

elizabethany

PS: Heidi Priebe, the author.... I know I've never even tweeted you before now, and this could be a little awkward... but you're my soulmate. There. I said it. Thanks for helping me do something for myself that even my friends and family couldn't help with.

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive and go do it... Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." -Howard Thurman

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photo diary: wedding #3 in california

The third stop on my wedding train this summer: Irvine, California for one of my closest Texas friend's big hoorah! 

It was the reason I finally bought a plane ticket to the West Coast and explored LA. Had he not decided to get married in a place that never rains and always has perfect weather, my cherry would still be in tact. 

The wedding was beautiful. On a golf course, lots of light and bright colors, thought out decorations... and a family of ducks to greet everyone as they arrived. [That may or may not have been planned...]

And LAWN GAMES! A wedding with lawn games is a winning wedding.

Cute story alert: There were bugs flying around during the ceremony, and one landed on her bouquet. He quickly took the bouquet and let the bug go away from the ceremony. There's gotta be an unplanned, fun, light moment in every ceremony, and that was it.

Congrats to Mr and Mrs Young!

I wish I had gotten another picture of this when it was full of desserts. I've never seen so many options. A lot of times I don't even go for dessert at a wedding, but I got way too many things here. Strawberry shortcakes in mini mason jars, milk and cookies, macaroons, the works. 

This picture is so perfect. During the "funny" best man speech, the other best man could not lift his head because he was laughing so hard and maybe even a little uncomfortable. The groom was obviously loving it, and the bride was laughing but with more of an "omg" face. 

Another one added to our little group of friends!

There was a lot of fun Disney touches too because she's a big fan of the mouse's movies. Songs, speeches, vows etc... all had little touches of it. It was adorable.

As for what I wore... I found this dress in a place called Zara out in LA. I don't think I've ever heard of it, but there were a ton out there, and they all had two floors of clearance. It was my heaven. I could only find this dress in the wrong size, but it was such a perfect color, I looked in every other location I passed in the next couple days. With five minutes to spare before an appointment, I found it! 

-dress from Zara

-shoes from Charlotte Russe

-gold clutch from New York and Company

-earrings from Forever21

I didn't realize how low cut it was until I was looking at pictures, and maybe it wasn't the best decision for that, but I really did love the dress, and I'll be able to wear it plenty more times. Plus- a little cut out and bow action in the back- yes, please!

Once again- CONGRATS to the Youngs! And thanks for inviting me to the celebration!

Last stop of the year: Chicago in September! And it seems like next year will be just as busy, based on all the ring pictures on my Facebook lately. Bring on the free drinks and reasons to shop! I mean... bring on the love!

love,
elizabethany

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this is sad

Poor Ellen. :(

Seriously, she was SO excited to get married over the summer to her longtime girlfriend Portia de Rossi, and she fought SO hard to get everyone to vote no on Proposition 8..

But yesterday she learned that it had been passed. Voters voted to approve it 52.5% to 47.5%. It overturns the Supreme Court decision that allowed gay marriage in the state of California. 

Now

 the marriages of some 18,000 couples will in a sense be canceled or annulled.. At the drop of a hat.. Just 4 and a half months after it was legalized. 

"Watching the returns on election night was an amazing experience. Barack Obama is our new president. Change is here. I, like millions of Americans, felt like we had taken a giant step towards equality. We were watching history. This morning, when it was clear that Proposition 8 had passed in California, I can’t explain the feeling I had. I was saddened beyond belief. Here we just had a giant step towards equality and then on the very next day, we took a giant step away. I believe one day a 'ban on gay marriage' will sound totally ridiculous. In the meantime, I will continue to speak out for equality for all of us."

--Ellen DeGeneres' reaction on the election results

I'm with her.. It kind of makes me not be as excited about the "change" we're about to face. I think it's great that we have someone not white going to the White House... But is there really change on the way if people can't even let others get married? 

Marriage doesn't affect other people.. It affects the people getting married, and that's it. And if they have kids, it certainly affects the ability to PROTECT THEIR KIDS IF they're married! Gay couples don't have the rights that heterosexual couples do, and that's STUPID if you ask me. Who cares what people do in the privacy of their homes? You shouldn't.

Don't get me wrong.. I think change is coming. But there is clearly a lot more change that needs to happen, and I can only hope that Obama can help out people like Ellen. 

How dare you people give someone a right, only to take it back. Didn't your mom ever tell you that indian-giving is wrong?!

love,

elizabethany

why you should take a solo road trip... annually

It's been four months since I took my most recent solo road trip... and I'm just now writing about it. I was worried that if I waited, I wouldn't have that same elated feeling that I had when I got back... but going through my pictures is bringing it back and reviving me all over again. 

I've done a solo road trip before; I drove down the California coast when I was going through a break-up or few. It was so therapeutic and life changing in ways that I thought I could never redo a trip like that. 

I was wrong. 

When you travel alone, there are things that happen that have taken me a couple months to really reflect on and realize and now I'm ready to tell you why you should do it. 

Let it be known- it's going to be scary. The days leading up to this trip, it was kinda hard for me to talk about it or plan a whole lot. I didn't know if I was going to be able to do this again. There were a lot of thoughts like "do I really have to do this again?" and "maybe I should just see what friends I can meet up with along the way." The truth is- I could EASILY do it again, and I didn't need any plans, friends, or safety blankets to help me out. 

So, reason #1- You'll conquer some fears. 

When I decided to book this trip, I knew I was in some sort of funk that I needed to kick before I got to the iHeartRadio Music Festival. I've always been proud to be fiercely independent, but after moving in with the bf, I quickly built up a lot of dependency on him. He helps me find everything I lost, calms me down when I'm over-stressing and working myself, and gives me that comfort of not being alone. Somehow I had subconsciously let myself think that I couldn't do things without him anymore. Honestly, this made me hate myself. Of course it's nice to have that person to help you out, but everyone should have some independence in a relationship... and if you're anything like me, you have to find a lot of ways to remain your independent, self serving person while keeping the relationship happy. [Let me know if you have any real secrets or tips for that, btw.] As soon as I had my first meal out and alone, while talking to the bartender, I realized I hadn't "lost myself," she was just put on a back burner. 

Reason #2- You will empower yourself and ignite independence and strength.A lot of people immediately ask "but where do you eat?" when I tell them about a solo trip. What do you mean where do I eat? I eat at whatever bar or restaurant Yelp and Facebook suggest to me, duh. I typically sit at a bar, so I can talk to the bartender, other solo visitors, or my phone. There's no pressure to talk or not talk, but the option is there if you want it. It's brilliant, and far less awkward than it feels when you arrive at a place before all your other friends and you're impatiently waiting on them. The best part- 

Reason #3- You can eat wherever you want. Order as much food or drinks as you want. No splitting checks, and no judgment. 

That "no judgment" thing is big. I think one of the biggest issues people have with solo trips is worrying about what other people will think about them doing everything alone. Let me tell you what they'll think- the same thing you're [probably, hopefully] thinking right now- that's badass. Bartenders high fived me, and fellow hikers offered to help with pictures, then literally applaused or said "oh WOW!!" when they saw I already had the photos under control. [I would set up my GoPro on a tripod, then look at it/control it from an app on my phone.]  People at the hotels and hostels were welcoming and helpful and friendly [although I was a little nervous to tell some of them I was staying alone.. but it ended up being nbd]. When's the last time you didn't care about what people thought about you? Unfortunately, it's not often enough for me anymore.

Reason #4- You'll realize the world really doesn't give a f#@% about what you're doing... and it'll free your mind to also not care about what your self is doing. 

Speaking of other people... when you plan a trip with others, whether it be one or ten other people, you have to plan things with them. Where do they wanna stay? What's their budget? When do they wanna be there or leave or move on? Do they even wanna commit to a trip? It's exhausting. You know what's not?

Reason #5- You get to live on your own time and on your own budget. Your plans can change whenever you want them to. There's no one to answer to. 

Something else that's in your control- what you listen to along the road trip. After reading "my Bible" on my last road trip, I decided to try some books on tape to give me that same feel. [What I didn't realize before this trip is that it wasn't just the book that changed me in California.. it was the whole experience.] I listened to "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck" and "Creativity, Inc" to help revive my brain and give me some real therapeutic thoughts. Maybe you'll want a podcast, or music blasting as you sing along.. or, get all of the above.

Reason #6- The time you'll have with yourself and the road is magical. You can let your mind go wild and the scenery will [hopefully] make it all okay. 

I kept setting my GoPro on the dash because the views were unbelievable. A lot of them are still on my Insta Highlights.

THE ULTIMATE REASON: You will come back invigorated, confident, excited to share everything with everyone you know, and ready to take on anything in this world.

I should clarify why I specifically say road trip and not just any solo trip. When you're alone, you need to stay active so that you don't feel that lonely factor. The more I discovered, the more badass I felt. The more I traveled, the more I learned... about the world and myself. I can't imagine going to a beach resort or one city for a couple days by myself. As much as I love a good drink and meal, I don't want to be drunk trying to explore my way home. I also don't want to just sleep on the beach alone all day. Booorriinnggg.

So my trip started in Denver, went through Utah, and ended in Las Vegas. It was only four days alone, but I wanted at least one or two more by the time I got to Vegas and had to answer to people again. Three days would be enough to get all of this goodness, I think.. and is a fair place to start for those

who are a little worried. And maybe "annually" is a ridiculous goal, but it's what I'm going to aim for. There's no reason for me to put something so beneficial to my life and health off. Maybe it won't always include National Parks, a full week away, a plane ride to my first destination, or my sweet minivan named Bonnie... but I'll always try to make some time for myself.

Now that I've gotten into all of this again, expect some details about each place that I stopped [and all of the amazing places I got to stay as a solo traveler] in the next couple weeks. Maybe you'll be ready to book something for you and yourself by then, too.

love,
elizabethany

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tunes on tuesday 092810

Tweet Thank you, Tuesday night TV for making it so I'm literally posting this in the nick of time. Goodness.

B.o.B.--> Don't Let Me Fall



Do you like B.o.B.? You'll like this. It's not the most talented song you'll ever hear, but I definitely dig it.


Katy Perry--> Firework



I can't believe I'm saying this, but it's actually a little bit of a different sound for Katy! I almost didn't think it was really her for a little while. I like it. I won't even be mad if we play it a ton... Especially if it throws "California Gurls" in the trash.


La Roux--> In For The Kill



Eh... I'm not a fan. I think this is the one I want to hear from you about, though. Do YOU like it? Yay or nay?!


Nicki Minaj--> Right Through Me



I still can't fathom the fact that she's raunchy in duets, but normal and relatively cute as a solo artist. This is a good song. I enjoy.


Chris Brown--> Yeah 3x



Take a couple listens to that, let it sink in, and love it. It's the song that all the DJ's are talking about this week. I feel like it could be the next "Forever"... I'll absolutely be loving it when I hear it in the club.


Tim McGraw--> Felt Good on my Lips
Is that auto-tune?! It's typical Tim McGraw. It's good, but his songs never blow me away anymore.

Billy Currington--> Let Me Down Easy
I'm really starting to fall for this man's music. It's slow, but I really like it. The lyrics, the melody, everything.

Lady Antebellum--> Hello World
I get really freakin' pumped when they come out with new songs now. It's slow and different for them. It's mostly Charles singing. It's a pretty song. Definitely worth a listen.

Leah Seawright--> Country Girl 101
It's a girl power kinda rock-country song, and I'm diggin' it. It gets me pumped! It's these kinda songs that make me wanna be a full-fledged country girl.

And my favorite new discovery of the week that I can't stop listening to-
Rascal Flatts--> Why Wait



It's no surprise. I'm a huge Rascal fan. This song has been on repeat all week. L.O.V.E.


That's all for now! Enjoy!

love,
elizabethany

what ya wearin wednesday 103013

Awww yeah, let's round up another Wednesday of hotness!

@sydmelissa08 went all aztec black and white for a great work outfit!

Check out @dubwalston with his bowtie and matching socks... and SHINY shoes!

@janesofresh_mua makes me wanna put together an all black and gold outfit ASAP.

@illusion3r's first ever post was for WYWW! So many textures and creative with the [I think] denim boot toppers.

Absolutely love @krifonz's skirt, especially matched up with the chambray and fun necklaces. 

Can we talk about how fun @ksnedegar's burgundy-underneath hair is?! Also enjoy that necklace!

Striped scarf like @BrookeRadio's: must have. Greatly paired with a graphic tee and jacket!

Not only does @ms_vdv have an awesome background for her pic, but that necklace, the tights, the dress! Love it all.

Check out @dominiquedadiva ROCKIN' some distressed jeans and that whole outfit!

Pretty color and fun ruffles on @bmpoulos!

YES @tannerlinwood with the go-to infinity scarf and boots!

Once again @mollskat has flawless eye make-up.

And how 'bout @mchilds00's adorable head piece?!

And @xxkaleigh1dxx has on a really fun shirt that could be paired with lots of things!

And for some adorable reason, @codyontheradio bundled up to go to work... in California.

And I went pretty basic again... I'll step it up next week!

-purple jeans from F21 $15

-really old sweater from F21, think I paid $18

-grey boots from JustFab [even though I'd never recommend buying from them]

-and I really wish I remember where I got that necklace from. I suck, sorry.

And don't forget! It's HALLOWEEN, DUH! YES, I'll be doing a Halloween costume round-up of some sort on Monday, so make sure you send me any pics you take or post! Just tag me @luvelizabethany on Twitter or Instagram! 

@Siarrahhh got into character a bit early yesterday. 

Happy treating!

love,

elizabethany

PS see some of my faves here! [As of 2pm, I plan on adding more later.]