Tuesday, February 10, 2009

don't do it

With Valentines Day coming up, you're probably scrambling for a valentine, if you haven't found one already.

While there are many things you probably COULD do to find one, there are also plenty of things you SHOULDN'T do.. Even if you have one already. [Duh, you don't want to lose them!]

For the ladies, don't do these things in public. We all know it happens behind closed doors, but sometimes guys like to pretend they don't...
  • Apply full make-up. Lipgloss touch-ups are fine... But leaving the house without your make-up and doing it on the bus in front of everyone is not appealling. We're "naturally pretty," remember?
  • Pull out your thong from your crack. Slick wedgie picking is necessary and okay, but digging into your buttcrack to pull out the floss is not appealing.. To anyone.
  • Sit cross-legged while wearing a skirt. You're probably showing off more than you think.
  • Show off your midriff. Never is this okay. No matter how old you are. Save the belly button ring's debut for the beach.
  • Talk on the phone in a public bathroom. If you do that on your own time, fine. But not everyone wants other people listening to them release things from their body. [Okay, that sounds awkward.]
  • Tweeze hairs/Pop a pimple. You may think that doing this will take away your imperfections, but it only adds one: Your disgusting-ness.
  • Criticize your boyfriend. No matter what the reason, you're not his mother, and he's a grown man. There's a better time to talk about things he has done that you don't like.
  • Adjust the girls. Again, there's just always a better time, or more private place, to do this.
  • Pee all over the toilet seat. Seriously! This is the worst thing EVER! And as a girl, you should understand and respect others.
And for the guys.. Yes, there are things that will turn us off. So don't do them.
  • Admire yourself in the mirror. Your love affair with yourself isn't attractive... It's creepy.
  • Pick your nose. [This definitely goes for the ladies too!] Even if you're in your car.. Look behind, beside, and in front of you. There's ALWAYS someone watching.
  • Sit cross-legged. Ladies might be drooling over some story you're telling, and your masculine body. Then you cross your legs, and everything is lost.
  • Blow your nose without a tissue. You may think people don't notice what you're doing, but the boogers are flying. Ask for a tissue. It's normal.
  • Play-wrestle with your buddies. This may have been cool in middle and high school, but now it's time to find a gym. People will only find it obnoxious.. Not hott.
  • Puke. No explanation necessary. Ew.
  • Argue with your girlfriend. It's awkward to be around fights, so don't cause one of these moments. Wait 'til you're home. Plus, you'll save you're reputation. [Don't believe me? Use Chris Brown as an example.]
  • Write in cursive/longhand. We have technology now. Just keep it legible and not emo.
  • Pee "conspicuously." Honestly, everyone can see you. Maybe they can't see it, but they can imagine it. And it's not cute.
  • Cry. Sure, there are times you should. But don't cry during a chic-flick.. Or because you're fighting with your girl. Wait until you're home.

So hopefully now, with help from these lists, you're one step closer to finding a date for Saturday, and one step FURTHER from losing that date!


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