Tuesday, February 24, 2009

just a little humor

There's lots of things that suck about being a girl. [Sorry.. I don't know anything that sucks about being a boy.. :-P] But there is one thing that is pretty sweet.

We get to sit down while we pee. Why is this awesome? Well, here are just 10 things we can do while taking a leak:
  1. Talk on the phone
  2. Catch up on all of the latest gossip and news on sites such as.. Oh, I don't know.. love, elizabethany.
  3. Rest our legs after strutting in heels all day
  4. Tone the thigh muscles when the toilet seats are nasty
  5. Find out the plans for the night by texting, sending an email, or chatting online
  6. Go through the mail.. Rip up bills or stupid mail, read a catalog, whatever you get
  7. Floss
  8. Cry. It's always better to do that when you're sitting down somewhere comfortable.
  9. Read a book
  10. Paint our nails... As long as we watch out when it's time to wipe!
I'm sure all you guys are completely jealous of us right now..

But really, ladies, we can't lie. Sometimes it's just a hassle to have to sit down. But that's okay! Now there are different.. Mmm.. "devices," I shall call them, that can help us out when we're on the go.

For example, there's the GoGirl.. Which actually seems like your best bet. It's silicone, so is technically disposable, but it's also germ-resistant, so you can use it lots of times. It comes in a small tube so that you can hide it in your purse. And don't worry, they give you tissues too. Just place it under there, and let it funnel on down. [Okay, maybe this does sound a little weird.. But oh well! I love the idea of it!]

There's also the Whiz-Biz, that has a hilariously, absolutely fantastic commercial:

Finally.. If you want to really get hilarious with it, there is the Shenis. Get it? She+Penis?!

I'm not going to throw the picture on here because it's a little NSFW, if you get what I'm sayin'. But check it out. 12 inches of golden you know what, that works the same way as the other two. This is funny, though. I couldn't have said it better than the website:
To be honest, I can't wait for the day when I'm stopped by a cop. (for the shock as well as the publicity).. Can't you just see it? "This is car 14. I'm pulling off at exit 7 to help a stranded motorist. Got a redhead with her back to me. If I didn't know better, I'd think she was taking a leak but, oh my God, I need back up now. Officer in danger. Suspect is packing an angry Johnson." "Ma’am, step away from the Shenis."
So, so great. Make sure if you do check it out, to check out the pictures section. You'll be rollin'.

So, ladies.. Be proud of what you can do... AND take advantage of other opportunities, too!
Fellas... It's okay if you find this completely weird.. But you know you're fascinated, too.


PS: Thanks to theFrisky for this. :)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

We can totally tuck our junk into the toilet... so u fail. We also have long conversations on the phone, text, read magazines and sure a pee pee only takes a couple seconds but, we like to prolong it. Maybe hang out a little and avoid women that think they're great 'cus they pee sitting down :)