[Insert meme that I can't find here that talks about radio jocks always pointing out that it's Friday even though everyone is well-aware.]
Now help me out, Internet.
- To help get you through the day: "The ultimate list of the best 25 songs of the '90s." I could do it better, but I have no proof right now.
- This will probably work better: Maxim's guide to getting drunk at work. Alcoholic everything.
- To help you get through the night: 10 simple ways to get laid. #1: Be a female.
- So you didn't get much done at work this week? Me neither. But at least we're not one of the biggest flops ever.
- You can now buy drinks for hotties on the plane, which will guarantee your entrance into the Mile High Club.
- You thought YOU had an awkward one night stand? Imagine doing it the night before the epic lockdown in Boston....
- Nothin' beats a story of a teacher beating a student, then beating his junk in class.
- A real life pirate ship is for sale on Craigslist, and you obviously need it to throw parties on.
- This man was deported from Saudi Arabia for being too hott. He can be deported right into my bedroom.
- I mostly hated Nicki at the beginning of the Idol season, but now I find her funny again. Plus, she has great life tips. [If you're double thinking about clicking this one, just do it.]
- Best gifs/pics of the week: Proof that kids are actually just drunk adults.
- But these will have your mind BLOWN! The last things you'd expect to happen [Ex: hardcore rappers, shooting a music video... and dennnnn...]
- BEST PRANK OF THE WEEK: Texting your parents about a drug deal.
- WHY DO THESE EXIST?! The 5 weirdest sex toys on Etsy. [Mostly SFW]
- WHY DON'T I LIVE IN NYC?! Michael Buble did an impromptu performance in the Subway!
- OMG THIS IS GREAT! I love monkeys!! Watch what happens when they're "paid" unequally. Skip to about 1:20.
- Mute your computer because the music sucks, then watch this for another laugh.
Tomorrow is Eeyore's Birthday, so go ho hum yourself.
Sunday is Pet Parent's Day. So either celebrate Slutty Cat or make it all about you [assuming you have pet babies].
Whatever you do, just promise me this won't be you...