It's been a while since I've taught you all a little somethin' somethin'. I apologize. You've probably been learning things the hard way and that's never fun.
So here we go! Let's learn a few things thanks to others' misfortunes.
1. Just because you're a cheerleader and not in some ridiculous costume, doesn't mean you're safe. The mascot may be out to get you.
That's almost like a magic trick!
2. Never forget that you're not Tarzan, and you can't swing from tree to tree.
Bonus lesson: No matter how much snow is on the ground to break your fall, it's never enough to protect you from embarrassment and all pain.
3. Chinese Fire Drill: Totally fun game for the road. Car surfing: Not so much.
If you do try this, make sure to wear a helmet. On second thought, if you're dumb enough to try it, there's probably nothing there worth protecting.
4. Just because a door isn't opening automatically, doesn't mean you should give up on it and take matters into your own hands.
Ouch. Patience is a virtue. Walking forward a little more, slowly, might also be a good idea.
That's all for today! Class dismissed!