It's been an awfully long time since I've helped you learn a thing or two about life on this here website. Too long, indeed.
So, without further ado, break out your notebooks... It's time to take some notes.
Today's topic: Wintery weather.
1. If a news camera is around, watch your step. Don't let the ice win this battle, no matter what.
On second thought, just don't put your arms back. Broken arms are no fun.
2. A back-flip is never finished until you stick your landing.
Also: Remember to stay away from ice when trying such skills.
3. While it's great to do your news stand-up in the middle of all the action, you should probably move to the side at least a little bit.
If you disagree, make sure to have a quick-recovery plan and thing to say.
4. Even if you're not a news reporter, staying out of the way is your best bet.
Only exceptions here: If you have a camera recording everything and you know how to use slow-mo while editing video.
5. You've never really gone sledding until you've gone with these guys.
Note: Make sure to bring lots of Tylenol and pads, and turn your body into rubber. 911 on speed-dial may be smart, as well.
So, for all of you out in the snow this winter, I hope you remember what I have taught you. This way, you don't have to learn the hard way.