Thursday, May 7, 2009

life lessons 050709

It's been a little while since I've done life lessons! It's about time I get one of these up, eh? It's a good one too.

Forget everything you've learned in college... It's not important. Just remember the things you learn here on love, elizabethany.

If you have a furniture store and want the perfect way to advertise, just say that both races like you. Black people love it, and so do white people.

I... Don't even know what to say.

If you don't know what the price of something is, you're on the Price Is Right, and you're a gynecologist... The answer should come naturally. Trust your instincts.

The best part about it all: Drew Carey uncontrollably laughing about it. Old people were probably like "I don't get it. Why is everyone laughing?" It's okay, we'd rather you not get it anyways.

Toys are overrated. So are usual pets like dogs, cats, birds even. It's time to upgrade to bigger and better things, and use them as a jungle gym, not a part of the family. For your kids' next birthday, get them a crocodile.

It looks like its mouth is closed shut, but still. This thing is just sitting there doing NOTHING while a kid climbs all over it. What a trooper.

If it's uber windy, it's probably not safe to be on a window washer high on some building. However, if you're looking for an adventure, and can handle an extreme ride even after losing a helmet, I definitely recommend it.

I'm mad they showed that smash so many times! Dang! They survived, though.. So it was just a fun ride, and an awesome story to share! Jealous.

If you're a drug dealer, growing your own goods, and your AC unit and porch swing are missing, go ahead and call the cops... Just make sure your goods are not visible... Or even in the trailer you live in.

A Stafford, VA lady reported her stuff stolen. The cops came by, and first noticed the porch swing still where it belonged. Then entered the house and smelt that sweet Mary Jane smell. Obviously, they got a search warrant issued.

What'd they find? 53 weed plants.. Some up to 2 feet tall! Now little Miss Smarty Pants is being charged with manufacturing marijuana, possession of a firearm while in possession of marijuana and two counts of child endangerment. Idiot.

Finally.. If you thought guardrails were around to save your life, you were so wrong. The truth about them is that they provide a nice jump so that buses can get some air and head straight for a construction site. Oh, and if you're in the construction site behind a guard rail, you should always.. ALWAYS just sit and watch it all happen.

"WOW! That bus jumped the guardrail! Oh wow.. It's coming straight for us. Ha, there is goes hitting the people 5 feet away from me! Oh.. Uh.. Maybe I sh...!"

You're welcome for making you smarter without having to do much work.


PS: Thanks Kane Show for a lot of this stuff.. ;)

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