nifty?: outrageous eyelash jewelry with fruit and unicorns

It seems like everyone is wearing fake eyelashes these days. Some may not be as noticeable, others definitely are... and I just think they're mostly annoying unless it's Halloween.

I wore these bad boys for my Twitter bird costume and while I think they looked great for what I was wearing, I don't ever want something that heavy on my eyes again. They're obnoxious.

Just when I thought those what the Dance Moms have been adding to their looks were ridiculous, I stumble upon these new *accessories.* Eyelash jewelry.

That would be unicorn confetti.... Hanging from your eyelashes.

These are the "snowflake lashes." 

And then there's also the fruit cocktail, cards, characters, etc. 

It seriously looks like they invaded my school supplies/craft box from first grade, took out all my collectible erasers and fun confetti, and thought it'd be a good idea to add it to precious eyelids and eyelashes instead of just sticking it to the corner of your eye [like the cool kids did back then].

But seriously... the SNOWFLAKES!!! What the bleepity bleep is that even supposed to accomplish besides scaring every single human being away from you?!

Oh, there's more...

In case you want to be some kinda of parrot-human freak one day....

And for the shoe lovers, who obviously need shoes for their eyes.

Did I mention they're all at least $25-30?!

I don't get it. Maybe it's because I would have no idea where to even begin when it comes to putting these things on, or maybe it's because I'm lame... Or MAYBE it's because this Eyelash Jewelry shop has lost their mind.... No matter what, these are not okay for any day besides All Slut's Hallow's Eve.

Would you wear ANY of them?! Let me know if I'm being a trend-prude.

love,
elizabethany

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not nifty: etsy's awkward lingerie

Etsy is the website where anyone can sell handmade, custom items without having their own store or having to go through eBay.

Basically you can find some really ridiculous and oddball things.

Today's thing to shop for: Lingerie.

I have no doubt in my mind that my grandmother would make me some crocheted undies if she had the idea... I just think they'd be a little more granny-flavored. Holy uncomfortable, though!




Just in case your bra wasn't uncomfortable enough before, try the gladiator metal bra! It's sure to keep your boobs stiff and look like you have nips showing and something funky goin' on in your cleavage.




For all of you trying to act on your Sesame Street/Grover fetish while looking "sexy".....




The plus side to this: It's the perfect human loofah for your honey if you shower together.




I saved the best for last. The panty hose that let you get what you want without having to take them off. Go 'head and do your thing, Miss Impatient.

If these interest you, go 'head and get them... Just don't tell me you did... Then I'll have to point and laugh in front of everyone.

love,
elizabethany