Friday, February 20, 2009

life lessons 022009

Alright guys! It's the weekend! But as usual, there's a few things I don't want you to learn the hard way. So I shall teach them to you now.

Or, these videos shall.

1. Don't mess with old ladies. Especially while they're crossing the street. You'll regret it.

"Oh you want to honk at ME?! Well I'll just hit your little fancy car and make your air bag go off. How about THAT Mr. Impatient?! NOW deal with it!"

2. Don't jump off of a building onto a pile of mattresses. You might feel safe, but you're not.

"I'm fine, yeah, I'm totally fine, it's cool......... OH MY GOD THAT HURT!"

3. Don't expose young baby boys to dolls. They will learn "the tricks of the trade" at way too early of an age.

Shouldn't he have been laying in that thing and not on his stomach on top of a doll? Hmmm... "What do I do with this Mommy? She's prettyyy..."

4. Never assume you're alone. There is always a Big Brother watching. If you think you're alone, and break out your best dance moves, you end up on the Internet.


5. Don't use household items as stripper accessories. Save it for the club.

Actually, just don't try and be a stripper if you don't know what you're doing.

C'mon ladies. Leave it to the professionals. Like me. Just kidding, of course.

So there ya have it! Now have a fun-filled, safe weekend!


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

the old lady made me laugh... a lot