Monday, January 12, 2009

the ones you stay away from

When you think of your partner in crime, your drinking buddy, your BFF, your go-to guy.. Who do you think of? What are they like? More importantly, when they're drunk who do they become?
Hopefully it's someone fun.. Someone you DON'T get embarrassed by. [After all, they ARE your other half, right?!] MOST importantly, hopefully it's not one of the Top 10 Worst Types of Drunks.

Holy Taco came up with the list, and here it goes:

10. Mrs. Emotional-- AKA the girl that instead of getting attention by being funny, she thinks it's a good idea to create a river of tears that YOU'RE going to help her swim through. It's never a fun time.. And it's normally the end of your night.. Real quick.
9. Mr. High Five-- Ya know the guy who is just trying SO hard to fit in, and he's SO excited to be at the party, that no matter what anyone does or says, he feels the need to throw his hand up high, hoping to come in contact with another hand? Yeah, this is annoying. A couple high fives and you feel the bond.. Too many and you want to put up your fist.

8. Mrs. I'm Fat-- Again, girls want attention.. Duh. But rather than carrying herself in a confident, sexy way, she thinks it's a good idea to point out her flaws. Wait.. She's not doing it to make herself look bad, though. She wants you to correct her every time; "Shut up, you're not fat at all! You're hott!" Yeah, she "knows."

7. Mr. You're a Fag-- There are some tanks out there that can chug a bottle of liquor, and still keep going. That's fine. Great, even! But it's NOT okay when they start yelling at you and telling you you're homo just because you won't take 392847 shots with them in one hour.

6. Mrs. Make Him Jealous-- Seriously, girls love attention. So, imagine the girl who's not getting any from her boyfriend... Yeah, she's pissed. So what does she do? Finds another boy to make-out with.. THAT will surely catch her man's eye! It'll also guarantee the "new guy" some more attention.. With that nice shiner he now has.

5. Mr. Drop the Bomb-- When you're drinking, you're just lookin' for a good time.. That's all. Who wants to have a Debbie Downer around? No one. So that guy who suddenly decides right now would be the best time to tell you he was molested as a child, isn't looking for a good time like you are.
4. Mrs. LUG-- I can't say it enough. Attention! What better way to get a group of guys around girls than to have 2 girls making out?! They may even convince the guys that they're willing to try a threesome.. That is, until, it's time to go home and they want a penis, not the other p-word.

3. Mr. I Still Love You-- Drunk dialing, drunk emailing, drunk talking even.. Not a good idea. Drunk texting-- even worse. You know that the fact that you're drunk and not face-to-face with your ex is not a good enough reason to confess you undying love you still have for her.. But does your friend know that in the morning, the alcohol is worn off, the text is still on her phone, and she might be at his door?

2. Mrs. I'm Still Pissed-- When you say something simple, and someone turns it around into a huge war from your history that you've tried not to remember, it's no fun. You just want to go to a different bar, but she remembers when you ditched her to go there with another girl instead of her, your ex-girlfriend. Yikes, she's not letting this go. Ever.

1. Mr. Let's Wrestle-- Never is it cool to wrestle your friends in public. Not unless you're on the wrestling team, anyways. Alcohol+guys+fighting, even if it's play-fighting=never okay. If you let it happen, chances are it'll turn out bad for someone in the end. If you don't he's going to keep nagging until you punch him in the face, and he wrestles you anyways. Lose-lose situation.

So, hopefully you don't have to deal with ANY of these people on a regular basis because seriously, there's way better ways to spend your time than dealing with someone else's issues.

At least, that's how I feel.. Call me selfish, I don't care!


1 comment:

Milfypoo said...

I've been every one of the Misters that you posted; that makes me a terrible person :(