podcast: setting people up for valentine's day

For Valentine's Day, I wanted to do something special for my show in DC. I decided playing the role of matchmaker would be neat.

I picked four people to come into the show, take calls, pick one winner, and then gave them a gift card for dinner on Valentine's Day. Because I'm always the realest with you, Internet... I was hella scared. What if no one called? What if we didn't find anyone good? What if someone got stood up? WHAT IF SOMEONE GOT KIDNAPPED AND KILLED AND OMG IT'S ALL THAT GIRL ON THE RADIO'S FAULT?!?!

Luckily, I had nothing to worry about. The studios may have crashed mid-show, I may have set up people with eight years age difference, and there may not have been ANY hanky panky that night, but I think [/I'm hoping] it was at least good radio and a good time for them as well.

Hear all their individual quests, then the results, and feel free to tell me if you think we picked the wrong person for someone.


My job is fun.

love,
elizabethany

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watch etv: i was a terribly mean cupid to coworkers and shaggy

What do you do to celebrate the holidays at work? Hand out some cards? Bring in some goodies?
I choose to get mostly naked and shoot a Nerf bow and arrow gun thing at my coworkers.... and Shaggy. Like Mr Boombastic Shaggy. Who randomly walked in when I was dressed like a frickin weirdo. He loved it.

This is the real way to show love in 2015, duh.



I wish you coulda seen the whole run-in with Shaggy. Homeboy came through the door and I had no idea he was early. "Oh... heyyy Shaggyyyy....."

Side note: Do you see that huge dent in my thigh?! That's not cottage cheese, that's an actual dent I got when I fell down the stairs during Santacon a year and a half ago. Sexy.

Sorry I'm not sorry to my coworkers. There will be more of this coming.

love,
elizabethany


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what ya wearin valentine's day

Well... I thought I had posted this already... I must have dreamt it.

I really do miss seeing all of your outfits every week. It's a little bit of depression to start out every Wednesday... but I'll definitely be bringing it back for every holiday- so count on it!

Valentine's Day normally involves people getting really pretty or done up, or looking really hott... depending on your relationship status. What I failed to realize- it's one day that people are slightly selfless. Instead of showing off themselves, they're showing off what their boo has done for them. Still, some of you shared your looks with me!

Let's get to it!

@anroderick's makeup and hair looked flawless, but that scarf! Something seemed special about it.. and she told me it was actually made from flannel pj's!!

 I love @acarles  touches of leather and pink to lighten it all up.

DAYUM, check out @l0vedreamwish's  leg [and cleavage!] coming out of that dress!

@m_cleave and her man both looked clean and sexy.

A little bit of floral and a little bit of rock on @muchachamary for a lot of perfection!

@bhensleyy had some pretty nail art!

I'm all about the red and polka dots on Valentine's Day, like @nicolegoesbynikki!

Also enjoy the simplicity but perfect color combo of @_8th_wonder's outfit!

SO much yes to @curly_kaay and her twin's matching outfits! A touch of 90s in there...

And I also forgot to take a full picture, but I had to wear this flower/heart tank I got from my swap party, and of course the red jeans... so I just topped it off with a brown cardigan I got many years ago and brown boots you can't see. [Damn snow preventing me from wearing pumps or even flats]

I tried to do a lot of things to my nails and failed at them all, so resorted to this red and pink ombre... but I like this so much better than anything I even attempted, so I ain't mad!

I hope everyone had a fantastic Valentine's Day! I hope you got spoiled... even if you spoiled yourself.

love,
elizabethany

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what ya wearin- valentines day!

It was a little spur of the moment, but I decided to do another holiday edition of What Ya Wearin for Valentine's Day! Without it being the "norm," I love that I still got submissions!

@Siarrahhh was all fancy-dancy for her lunch date! Red dresses= always a win.

LOVE @abaker1804's like pink and white with simple, pretty jewelry!

@jannashepherd did these nails herself with "tape for the bottom V and a steady hand!" I've never seen a more perfect heart.

@RomulaLynn's always fancy nails were a little Valentine's Day inspired! Check out the Sweethearts nail!

And welcome @eewerner to the bunch! Love the striped shirt and boots! [And the Rt 66 sign in the back!]

Since I spent my Valentine's Day at a pet store [Slutty might be getting herself a new live-in boyfriend! more on that later...], and the studio, I didn't get too decked out.

-sheer shirt from F21 for $5

-jeans from F21 for $10

-boots from Charming Charlies $5

-black stud earrings from Charlotte < $1

And yeah, did another day of sock bun because if I'm being honest, I still haven't washed my hair since Tuesday and I don't feel bad about it.

I guess we'll be making this a habit! For every holiday, plan on sending me your outfits! You're too beautiful not to!

love,

elizabethany

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diy: how to make a sexy jenga game

I was reading some article the other day talking about different games to play to "spice up your sex life," and "Sex Stack" was one of them. Basically, you paid a ridiculous amount of money for a Jenga sex game.

Spending a lot of money is really stupid when you could spend $5 and get the same result. An average Jenga set is $5 and has 54 pieces, so I came up with 54 foreplay actions to write on your tiles! [You may want to have liquor, ice, whipped cream, and some kind of "tie" handy!]

It's simple. Set it up like a normal Jenga game, pull a block, and do whatever it says. If you knock it over, you're gettin it on!

1. Just a peck!
2. Makeout!
3. Underwear- off!
4. Kiss anywhere of their choice
5. Kiss anywhere of your choice
6. Give a hickey
7. Take a shot
8. Take a body shot
9. Lick whipped cream off body part of their choice
10. Lick whipped cream off your choice
11. Go again!
12. Give special kisses- 30 seconds
13. Receive special kisses- 30 seconds
14. Give a lapdance
15. Get a lapdance
16. Motorboat, you SOB
17. Mouth to the ear
18. Get "handy" on them, 30 secs
19. Do what they want, to them.
20. Do what you want, to them. 
21. They do what you want, to you.
22. They do what they want, to you.
23. Blindfold them, draw again!
24. You get blindfolded, then they pick!
25. Ice play with their nipples!
26. Nothing. Their turn again!
27. Kiss on their stomach
28. Kiss the inner legs
29. 69- 30 seconds
30. Get in the shower for 5 mins
31. Kiss down their spine
32. Please yourself- 30 seconds
33. Tie them to the bed, pick again. 
34. Get tied to the bed, they pick.
35. Break out a toy! Their choice
36. Kiss on their neck for 30 secs
37. Give a mouth and ice massage until it's melted
38. Give a massage for 1 minute anywhere on the top half of their body
39. Give a massage for 1 minute anywhere below the belt
40. Remove article of clothing of their choice
41. Move your tongue along their "happy trail."
42. Get your lips super close without touching for 60 seconds. No cheating!
43. Take off an article of their clothing with your mouth
44. Whisper something hott in their ear
45. Dry hump, you on top. 2 minutes
46. Dry hump, them on top. 2 minutes
47. Dry hump without kissing on the face. 2 mins
48. Reveal your current biggest fantasy/wish
49. Gently run your fingertips up and down their back
50. Lightly run your lips over their chest
51. Lightly run your lips over their neck/face
52. Act out a scene from their favorite movie
53. Take one naughty photo of each person
54. Knock it over, get busy!

Umm, sounds fantastic, right?! Unless, of course, you get the "knock it over" on the first pull. That'd be stupid.

All you have to do is grab a [thin] Sharpie and write each of these on a block! Super easy!

Now get to it! Valentine's Day is coming up and let's be real: This is a fantastic gift and/or activity that will last forever! [Or 5 minutes, depending on your ability to last...]

And feel free to comment below any other tile ideas you have! The more the merrier!

love,
elizabethany

PS: If you wanna make Drunk Jenga [one of my absolute faves], this website and this one have fantastic tile ideas.

PPS: If you run your mouse over the pictures, you can easily Pin them! Click the P!

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happy valentine's day from me and fckh8!

Happy Valentine's Day! I hope whatever you have planned today, you LOVE it. Single people probably have the most fun, BTW. So embrace it, embrace all the other pissed off single people, and have a good night!

Here's a fabulous e-card straight from my favorite people at FCKH8.



They produce gold. and I fully support their occupy movement. Maybe it's even time to get my third shirt soon.

And this is straight from my heart:


I love you all! Fo'serious.

love,
elizabethany

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jersey shore valentines

Valentine's Day is only 2 days away! AH! I totally meant to go out and buy some valentines for my lovers at work! Apparently that ain't happenin'.

Unless.... I print out these AMAZING Jersey Shore Valentines!

Could they not be any more perfect?! The only thing it needs is a little Vinny. Mmmm.

I love how clever valentines can be. I also 100% plan on printing these suckers out and passing them out to everyone. If they think they're lame, they can suck it.

love,
elizabethany

PS: Thanks CollegeHumor :)