Tuesday, May 26, 2009

sex of the day 052609

Two funny news stories having to sex need to be shared, so that's what I shall do with this post. Young eyes--> Keep on movin' down the page.

First-- Lorena Bobbitt has a twin! Kind of. A woman bit off her boss's penis. Woops! [Warning: This is a little gruesome.]

How'd it happen? Well, they were sneaking away from the office for a little rendezvous in the car. She was doin' her thing when suddenly, they were struck by a van. The impact caused her to chomp down and when her head came back up, the investigator caught her with blood all over her mouth.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention... Her husband had hired a private investigator to follow her around because he suspected something was up. What a PERFECT time the investigator picked to follow her! WOOO boy!

Second-- What's a fun record to break? Well, I'd like to break the record for most flips in a row, or most shots of Burnetts Cherry Vodka without throwing up... But a porn star, well, they'd like to suck the most *youknowwhats*.

200 men lined up to get BJ's from Cora the porn star so that she could break a record. [BTW, Cora is on probation right now for shooting a porn scene in a public park so obviously she's not very smart about her plans..]

Welp, she definitely didn't make it to #200. She stopped at #75, when she started choking, and had to be rushed to the hospital.

First of all, I think I just barfed in my mouth a little bit. Second, I don't even want to think about how many STD's were lined up, aiming right at her. Third, I guess she needs more practice before she tries to become a pro.

Ohh how I wish this stuff could be reported on the live local news. THAT would be something I'd love to do... If I was able to keep a straight face.


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